Sex. God created it. Blessed it. He saw that it was good.
Then sin destroyed it. Sin distorts and kills everything.
There is only one hope for sin: Jesus.
In the Fall, I heard Dr. Albert Mohler give a talk at my church. He shared the trauma and results of living in a sexually-broken world. How far and wide its affects are. This one area touches so many other avenues in the churches, our homes, our societies, and our world.
Allow me to explain what I mean when I say a “sexually-broken”: anything outside of God’s amazing plan for a hope-filled, Christ-exalting sex life within a marriage of two people: a man and a woman, for life. Everything else is sin. And that leads to a sexually-broken world.
This brokenness can come in the form of physical/sexual abuse, pornography, lust, rape, addictions (think 50 Shades of Gray), homosexuality, sex-trafficking, prostitution…the list could go on.
Some of you might not be aware of how pervasive this brokenness is. But, look that the Super Bowl for example: one of the highest profiting days for selling sex.
Some of you might not think that this brokenness affects you. But, I assure it does. Sexual sin affected me starting in college. Not my own, but someone else’s. This still affects my thought life to some degree. Then my own sexual sin left scars of guilt in my heart that I still carry now (and I fight with the truth of forgiveness and the power of the Gospel). You probably know friends who have been raped, abused, who are addicted to pornography, who struggle with lust, who have had sex before marriage, who do not have wonderfully fulfilling sexual relations in marriage, or who bring sexual scars into their marriage and suffer mentally and physically from them.
Now, that we know a little of the problem, how we do fix our sexual-brokenness? Hownestly – we can’t. We need a Fixer. That’s why Jesus came. During His time on earth, he did ministry in the life of at last three women who were sexually broken: Mary Magdelene, the woman at the well in John 4, and the woman who was caught in adultery. His blood on the cross covered all of our sins – not just our sexual sinfulness.
You may be the cause of your own brokenness (your sinful addictions, etc), or the brokenness may come from the outside (rape, abuse, bondage, etc). Once we have that relationship with Jesus, there are a few things that will offer hope in Christ and the Gospel:
- First, if you are in a dangerous, life-threatening, abusive relationships, get help now. Exit the situation. Cry for intervention.
- Realize your own brokenness. This is something that has been helpful for me in the past year: admitting my failures and admitting how I am feeling. Know that sin is sin. If God would mark iniquity who of us could stand (Psalm 130:3)? Here is an example: I am angry or hurt. How often are we encouraged to hide our hurt or made to feel ashamed of it? This admittance is helpful and not a sign of weakness. We can confess our brokenness and engage our feelings with the Lord. The Holy Spirit dwells in us and helps us in our weakness.
- Seek counseling. I personally would recommend a biblical counselor (See ACBC for help). Another go to would be a Christ-exalting pastor/wife you know. One of my sweet friends recently suggested this to me. Find someone whom you can confide and who will weep with you and feed you truth (not let you continue in sin).
- Journal. This is a form of meditation which is definitely recommended from the Psalmists. This has been a huge help to me this year. My friend and also a pastor friend of mine encouraged me in this and it has been a tremendous blessing. The Psalms are a great place to start! There are so many trials, blessings, Godward-cries, even sexual sin in this gem (Psalm 51). Its answers are the very healing words of God.
- Seek repentance. He is faithful to forgive (1 John 1.8) If you are the committing the sexual sin then turn from it. Keep turning from it. My husband mentioned the idea of starving your sinful appetites. They will diminish if you starve them. Satan may have you in a snare but Christ is the chain-breaker.
- Forgive. Forgiving doesn’t mean forgetting. Truely forgiving means not holding it against that person for the rest of his/her life. Christ can and wants to bring healing. In the Lord’s Prayer (Matthew 6), Jesus instructs his followers to pray that God would forgive their debts as we forgive our debtors.
- Believe God at his Word. There is hope! He is the deliverer. He is the chain-breaker. He is the Healer. He wants your good! Love protects. God wins. Heaven is real. You are precious and beautiful and bought with the blood of Christ. I loved this quote in Megan Cox’s book Give Her Wings: “Hard men believe that Jesus is a hard man. Which means they do not really know him. Believe if you know Jesus you understand His mercies.” (p 100)
Please know that there is no easy answer for sexual brokenness. Healing is hard. Jesus brings freedom and healing and hope and love. That doesn’t mean we still don’t live in a sin-plagued world that wreaks of death. We will have the consequences of sin.
Jesus offers hope.
Jesus’ love protects and is faithful.
You can be victorious in Jesus.
(This post is sponsored by heart.hope.justice and Give Her Wings. Megan Cox has just written this new book as a devotional for those who have been affected by abuse. In is she shares her own story, or years of counseling, and Gospel-focused hope. What I found helpful in this book is the Christ-exalting message on so many of its pages. Counseling won’t solve all your problems. Jesus is the answer for everything. heart.hope.justice is a dream of mine. Its partial goal is to bring healing and financial help in the area of sexual brokenness by an artwork that I did – and the proceeds will go to help some sex-trafficking end it movements.)
