by Kimberly | May 13, 2013 | marriage
What is the biggest influence on your marriage?
For those Christians who are reading this – I’m going to go ahead and assume answer #1 will be individual time in the Word and prayer and the fighting of sin. That’s a given.
Ok – so what is the second biggest influence in your marriage.
As my husband and I have learned in less than two years of marriage (with a 8mo old son and one on the way) – our answer would be SLEEP. Just this week: first two days of the week, little mister was awake several times during the night because of congestion and Mister always gets up with him at night (which is a huge blessing to me). But, that doesn’t give him much sleep to function with. These last two nights, little dude has slept for 12 hours – only waking up once either night. What a blessing. For me, its been warmer in the house this week and we’ve not wanted to turn our air down (saving money), and can’t open our windows because of the pollen, and due to pregnancy I’m both hot and congested. Fun times – but doesn’t allow for much sleep.
When we woke up this morning after about 8 hours of sleep for both of us (we finally turned the air down and Mister had on three layers of clothes to combat the chill), we woke up rested, laughing and tickling the little mister who was overjoyed to start the day. Mister commented how much sleep does us good!
Sleep deprivation (whatever is less than the magic number of hours of sleep you need to feel rested) can harm marriages on a daily basis more than a lot of other factors. Sleep deprivation puts us on edge and we are less likely to think before we speak, be willing to serve, and we are usually more prone to sin when we are sleep deprived.
So, do your marriage a favor: SLEEP!
If it isn’t sleep for you, what is the biggest hindrance in your marriage on a daily basis?
by Kimberly | May 7, 2013 | ethics, marriage, sin
Every blog post I wrote has come from personal experience or a conversation I’ve had, etc. This one is no different.
Yesterday on facebook, I was saddened to find out that a college acquaintance of mine, one who was in youth ministry with me and a professing Christian – now ordained in a denomination, was getting married yesterday to her girlfriend. This saddened me so much for her. On our long scenic drive home, the Mister and I were discussing what should be our response. Here are some thoughts:
1. A government-sanctioned marriage between two women is not a marriage in the eyes of God. In our country many states may be allowing same-sex marriage. This does not make it right in God’s eyes. God would never rejoice in something that is an abomination or sin to Him. See Romans 1:18-25, 1 Corinthians 6:9-10.
2. Sin does not please God – so how could a homosexual marriage?
3. We all sin (yes), so we should not counsel the person (if you have a relationship with them in the first place) in a harsh, judgmental tone. Ephesians 5:14-16. The reason I chose this verse is because the person in my life that got married yesterday is a professing Christian. I’m not a judger of hearts. I am also a sinner – a great sinner. But, this passage is written by Paul to the church at Ephesus. He is talking about people in the church who have been diluted and mislead by all sorts of unbiblical teaching. For any to think that gay marriage is promoted by God, or right, has clearly been mislead by the Enemy.
4. Show compassion; this needs to be our immediate response. We need to be like Jesus in this encounter. When he dealt with the woman caught in adultery, he did not shame or accuse her, but allowed her to be free of the sin and the entanglement of it. Our God does show wrath and anger toward sin, but he also shows compassion on the sinner. (John 8) God the Father shows much compassion on me and I’m a sinner. I would need to show compassion to my friend and hopefully lead her back to a right relationship with God.
5. Call to repentance. One of my favorite Scriptures in the NT says this “…God’s kindness is meant to lead you to repentance.” Oh that has blessed me and lead me to have a repentant heart so often as I’ve read with tears over my sin this incredible display of God’s love toward great sinners.
6. What about church membership. Let me say a few things: first, any denomination that would ordain a homosexual to be a minister of the Word of God and sanction and condone homosexual marriage is no longer a church because they do not hold to the truth of the Word of God. Second, if this couple were at the church I attend, I would (hopefully) seek to encounter them, provide them with godly counsel about their lives and why their lives demonstrate that they do not believe God or His Word. If they couple were members and then became homosexual or started living a homosexual lifestyle – that would be cause for church discipline and counsel and a desire for them to turn from sin.
7. As I’ve been reading in a book about the authority of the Word of God in our lives: this matter of homosexuality (whether it is right or not) is not primarily a question of preference or sexual orientation or anything else for believers. It is a question about what we believe the Bible to be. If we believe with the Bible that it is the very word of God and it is profitable and truthful in everything it says and is useful for our lives to instruct us in all truth – and we disagree with what the Bible says about the “rightness” of homosexuality – then obviously we have a disagreement with God. I have a feeling that I know who is going to ultimately win that disagreement.
As we get deeper and deeper into a country that is living in prevalent sin and as we see sin creep in (or barge in) to our churches – let us pray that we will know what the Word of God says, guard our own hearts and minds, show compassion to sinners, and call them to repentance (just as the Lord has done for us).
by Kimberly | May 6, 2013 | life together, Women, Worship
There are probably people we know, men and women, who are amazing at showing hospitality. There was a lady in our church growing up who was fabulous at this. She welcomed everyone in the church and was a fabulous cook as well. My mentor is incredible in this skill as well: cooking, opening her door, opening a bed or place to sleep for guests, praying over her guests, etc. I learned much of my “activity” of hospitality from them. Thankful.
Our church’s women’s ministry just had a night of learning about hospitality. I was not able to go but you can find some of the handouts from the sessions on our women’s blog. I’ve written much about hospitality, but what does it mean in a more spiritual sense? Meaning, the hospitality that God shows for us?
An illustration you might understand before I get to Tripp’s quote: Some people you welcome into your home with welcome arms. You can’t wait to go out of your way for them, sit and talk for hours, invite them into your heart and home. Others, you tolerate. You really could have them leave at any time, don’t care if they stay or go. Really, if you are honest, you wish you could probably just show them the door quickly after dinner was open. (If you are reading this with dropped jaw in disbelief that anyone could ever have such a thought toward another person – look at your own life. This is where sanctification comes in. I’m not perfect. Spirit is still working).
Well, as Tripp says in his book, Dangerous Calling, Christ doesn’t just tolerate us:
“One of the sweetest blessings of the cross of Jesus Christ is that the curtain of separation has been torn in two. No longer are the holy places open only to the high priest once a year. No, now each of God’s children has been welcomed to come with confidence into God’s presence, and not just once a year.”
“We, with all of our sin, weakness, and failures are welcome to do what should blow our minds. We are not only tolerated by God at a distance; no, we are welcomed into intimate personal communion with the King of kings, the Lord of lords, the creator, the sovereign, the Savior. We, as unholy as we are, are told to go with confidence into his holy presence.”
– Paul David Tripp, Dangerous Calling, p. 197.
Live welcomed.
by Kimberly | May 5, 2013 | mothering, Uncategorized, Women
This is one section of Kristyn’s prayers as she journeyed in her role as a mother:
“In the spring of 2008 I first prayed for a baby, and in the spring of 2011 God answered
that prayer with the birth of our beautiful daughter. My joy was full but so were the fears
I wrestled. In some ways I felt like a baby Christian again, caught in a whirlwind of
emotions, learning and applying what I have known and trusted into a completely new
life – I know I’m definitely not the first to feel that!”
Many songs came along before I became a mother, but this Mother’s Day is different for me as I’ve had almost 8 months to hold my little boy in my arms and give him multiple kisses each day (as well as change multiple diapers, get spit up on, listening to him laugh and cry and scream). As I’ve listened to the song of prayer by Kristyn Getty on their new album, I’ve heard another Mum’s love for her little one.
The prayer life of a mother never ceases. Sometimes my prayers are: Lord, is he still breathing – when he has slept for 12 hours and isn’t awake and crying for food. It is sometimes, Lord, give me patience today with him to have him for 14 hours without his daddy (at work and after work long meetings).
Kristyn takes her prayers in this song a little more on the long-term route, but one prayer that is very near and dear to my heart: we both want to see our children follow Christ and live wholeheartedly for Him. Whether its Kristyn’s little jewel, or my squirmy little bright blue-eyed boy, or the little #2 that is growing in my belly – our prayers are the same. Lord, may they love and follow you.
Since the Getty’s song has recently come out – they are offering some more personal insights into the song and also freebies for you (and other mothers in your life) this Mother’s Day:
If you want to send your mother or another mother a Mom’s Day card – here you go for a special one you can send
by Kimberly | Apr 23, 2013 | life together, parenting, restaurants, Uncategorized
Meal time has often been considered one of the most needful times when connecting with your family. Whether you eat at home at the table, in the living room, in the car, or at a restaurant, meal time is important. You can make it either meaningful or literally a waste of time (except for filling bellies). What are some issues concerning meal times and what can we as parents do?
1. Media. Mostly I mean television – and I’ll start with home. Rarely do my husband and I eat in front of the television. I can probably count on one hand the times we’ve done that in 19 months of marriage. But, growing up we did that more times than we didn’t. It was acceptable and counted on to eat while watching a Mets game, the news, or sitcoms. Television watching at home provides a means to have no conversation and to also not think about what you are eating.
2. Social Media or Telephones. I rarely remember a meal when the phone didn’t ring in our house growing up and someone didn’t get up to answer it. It speaks of what is more important: the person on the phone or those you are eating with. There may be times when emergencies happen and you must do that – but I would say those are rare. Parents: leave your phones in another room or turn them off. Eat with your family: be all there. If your children do have phones or other handheld media devices, have them turn them off or don’t allow them to interact with them during a meal time.
3. Restaurants. Last night my husband and I went to Carino’s for dinner. We sat in the bar area and I sat facing the news channel. They were focusing on a sex crime/murder trial. I didn’t know anything about it but caught myself glancing up every now and then. By the end of the meal I had mentioned it to Eric just as a way of soundbite. It didn’t do anything to fuel our conversation, but sometimes it does. If you are out with small children: go to a place without a tv or sit in a place where they can’t see it. You usually have no control what is going to be shown and therefore can’t be on guard against what your children (or you) might see. I often am saddened by couples or families that sit in almost silence at restaurants. They rarely talk with each other and are instead engrossed in their phones or just staring at their meals.
4. Use meal times strategically. You can teach young children responsibility and what is important. You can make meal times a priority for your family and a chance to have great conversation about their day and your day and what you read in the Word that day or use some books to fuel conversation. Nancy Guthrie has a book on dinner table devotions that would be an excellent choice. Eric and I use a grouping of memory verses to read and pray through before the meal.
Whatever you do, don’t let meal times be stolen away by society. Use them for your family’s strength and God’s glory.
