by Kimberly | Apr 16, 2012 | Bible, marriage, mothering, Women
“So train the young women to love their husbands and children.” – (Titus 2:4 ESV)
I learned this very well from my mentor, Phyllis, through the years as I’ve watched her diligently and passionately pray for her husband and children, and their spouses, and now her grandchildren. As I’ve started my own for my husband, and now my Baby Boy Campbell coming in September, I wanted to share some thoughts and how-tos that I’ve learned from her over the almost 20 years of knowing her.
1. Get paper. I remember after my second date with my husband, I went to B&N later that night and got a moleskin notebook and started journaling and praying for him, knowing one day I would give it to him at our wedding. And I did. He is reading through it now. But, really, ladies…you don’t need a moleskin or fancy notebook. You can use a journaling Bible (like this one from Crossway) and journal through your reading in there or just grab some loose-leaf paper and stick it in a folder (like we did back in high school, before everything needed to be turned through a computer). The paper doesn’t matter, the action does.
2. Get a pen/pencil/crayon. I have tried to steer away from pens that will bleed through the pages of my moleskin (almost done with #2 right now) but sometimes a bleed pen is the only one around. I would also challenge you to get a real pen and paper (not a computer) because you’ll be able to cherish these notebooks for years to come and your children and husband can read them as well! I know we are a techno world now, but I truly believe that some things are better hand-written.
3. Get a Bible. One of the MUSTS for this type of praying is that you pray Scripture over your spouse/children. What Phyllis taught me is that I don’t need books or even to be really creative, I just need God’s Word. She trusts in its sufficiency, and so do I. You don’t have to start a new reading plan – just read. If you want to, start with the Psalms, or one of Paul’s epistles or (gasp!) even the book of Deuteronomy. Pray these Scriptures for your husband/children. Here is an example from Psalm 112:
Praise the LORD!
Blessed is the man who fears the LORD,
who greatly delights in his commandments!
His offspring will be mighty in the land;
the generation of the upright will be blessed.
Wealth and riches are in his house,
and his righteousness endures forever.
Light dawns in the darkness for the upright;
he is gracious, merciful, and righteous.
It is well with the man who deals generously and lends;
who conducts his affairs with justice.
For the righteous will never be moved;
he will be remembered forever.
He is not afraid of bad news;
his heart is firm, trusting in the LORD.
His heart is steady; he will not be afraid,
until he looks in triumph on his adversaries.
(Psalm 112:1-8 ESV)
“Father, I praise you and thank you that you have given me a Psalm 112 husband. Thank you for answering that prayer. I thank you that E fears you more than he fears man and that he takes great delight in your word each morning, even as we are going through James this year as a couple. I pray that our children, even this little one in my tummy right now, will be blessed to follow and know you and dwell richly and mightily in the land as they seek you wholeheartedly because of your grace and the display of faithfulness of their earthly Father (all because of grace). Thank you for allowing my E to show me grace and mercy when I fail, and fail miserably at times. Thank you also that he pursues you and righteousness. Continue to weigh in his heart and his actions so that they might please you. I praise YOU that E is a generous man who does not hoard the money that you have blessed us with but wants our giving and our home to be a place of blessing for others. May we continue to live in that way. I pray Lord, that even in difficult times, that you would make his heart strong and firm in you – knowing that you never change and that you will lead him in righteousness (Psalm 23). Do not let him coward and be afraid, but be bold and know that you are God until the day that you make him triumph over his enemies for the glory of God in the world.”
And you can take the same chapter and pray it for your children, as I will for baby Campbell.
4. Pray. I know this may seem like the easiest one to do, and I do pray for E all the time and pray for baby Campbell as well (honestly mostly in the shower), but do this. I remember living for a time with my mentor and her family. I remember waking up early in the morning and walking downstairs, and Phyllis had already been there for hours praying and reading for her soul and the soul of her family. This was such a testimony to me. I fail in this so much. I need more grace to make it happen and to make it a glorious habit.
5. Save. Save your journals. I will save mine. Got an email from Phyllis this morning even that she has bookshelves and a chest full of these journals. What a legacy for your children and spouse as they see a wife/mother who first loved Jesus then prayed and loved them as well all the days of her life.
6. Side note: I sometimes read these journals to E as a way to encourage him. I let him read the first one (I gave it to him before our wedding). I use it as part journal of our marriage too. So for part of the journal I’m talking to God and part of it I’m talking to E, or baby Campbell in his. I’ve already seen how encouraging this can be and how much fruit can be harvested from this daily duty of delight (see John Piper).
PS…You can definitely read through books and pray those for your husband or children. I remember reading through A Guide to Biblical Manhood written by SBTS profs Dan Dumas and Randy Stinson and praying through those traits for E before we got married. By all means, use other things, but let Scripture be your guiding principle!
May I encourage you to begin today to be a wife and/or mother who lives by prayer and the Word of God. We fail miserably without them both. Thankful the Holy Spirit works His Word in us and shapes and fashions us according to His Plan and for His glory!
Phyllis – thank you for praying for Billy, Jeremy/Katie, Jill/Matt and all your beautiful grandchildren – and for me. You have truly been a Scriptural blessing in my life and continue to be so! Proverbs 31 by grace, you are! And if you have anything you would like to add Phyllis, please add it in the comments: I still have much to learn!
by Kimberly | Apr 16, 2012 | Uncategorized
I was unable to be at this particular session of T4G, but as I was following it on twitter from SBTS, that was all anyone could talk about. So, I’m listening to it now, and here are my thoughts:
Sovereignty and missions can go (or should I sayhave to go) together. Anyone who says (or any denomination that says) that missions and evangelism can’t be mixed with a person who totally believes in the sovereignty of God over all things. I would say that you can’t biblically do missions if you don’t believe in the sovereignty of God over all things. I am not saying anything more than that. Something is amiss if you don’t have an accurate view of God’s sovereignty in all things – and if you are trying to do missions and evangelism without this belief – it is highly difficult to get right.
Local Ministry and Local Mission are Totally Necessary, Global Missions is Tragically Neglected, Pastors have the privilege and responsibility of leading the way in missions – these are his three premises. The bedrock of all of these things is a FIRM belief in the sovereignty of God.
Revelation 5 – he then reads it. He really needed no other evidence. He could have stopped there (as a friend said the morning after Platt spoke). (Side note: the first time I heard him live in SBTS chapel he quoted Romans 1-10:1 and that was the best chapel, one of the best church corporate gatherings I’ve ever been to – the power of the Word.)
“God holds the destiny of the world in the palm of His hand.” Who are we to think that we can change the minds of men apart from the work of the Holy Spirit? Who are we to think that we can do anything to change the eternal life of people without the working of God in their lives?
“We don’t have any rights.” We have no rights as anything. God has all the rights as the sovereign God over all things in the universe.
“God does not NEED us.” – He involves in His sovereign design because He loves us, not because He needs us.
“The state of man before God apart from Christ is utterly hopeless.” This is taken from Rev 5 but oh so many other places in Scripture. And I have to say this is one belief I see in relationships with family members and friends and in our presidential nominees. This is the truth folks. The Bible is the final ANSWER because it is the very words of God. No one can tell us differently and stand on judgment day.
“The greatest news in all the world is that the slaughtered Lamb of God rules as the Sovereign Lord of all.” – Again, taken from Rev 5. He is our hope. He is our goal. He is our end.
“Teach your people to pray passionately for the nations.” God hears our prayers and has saved people from every nation in the world.
“Do you take time in your preaching each year to preach about missions?” – This is for pastors, but can be relevant for all of us. Pastors – do you preach to us your congregation more than 5 times a year on the mission to the people of the world? As SBCers we usually preach about missions in December (because of Lottie Moon), around Easter (because of Annie Armstrong), and maybe one or two other mentions (especially if we have a global missions conference or something). This isn’t enough. Its not enough to just mention it as an announcement at the end of the service or as a mention in the bulletin that only 2% of your congregation reads. Do we as Christians talk about very much?
Strong sermon on missions. How will it impact us?
by Kimberly | Apr 12, 2012 | writing
I am sitting here in Louisville, KY chilling while my husband attends the T4G gospel. While I was waiting for my dinner, I picked up the April edition of The Towers, which is a SBTS publication. Marvin Olaski, who is the editor-in-chief of World magazine gave an interview in 2009, and here was one of the questions/responses:
Q: How would you define Christian journalism?
A: “There is room to cover church activities and informational things, but in a way that is more public relations than journalism, but I think Christian journalism should be biblically objective journalism. Our goal is to read the Bible and see the way God’s writers perceive things and then try to go and do likewise. So, when we send reporters out to do news, the idea is to try to think through how one of God’s inspired writers might cover it. None of us is inspired and we have limitations, nevertheless we’re not just trying to present a Republican view, a Democratic view, a liberal view or a conservative view, we are trying, as best we can, to present God’s ideal and I hope we approach that with humility or else we’re in trouble. But nevertheless, that’s our goal: biblical objectivity and that is the only objectivity there is.”
I took a class my senior year of high school that was called “Biblical Worldview” and I think this class started me on a trajectory (to use one of my husband’s favorite words) down a road where I tried to examine what I see, here, and intake by the lens of the Bible. Whether it is country music, news articles on sports, church happenings, discussions with friends, etc: this is what I’m called to do as a writer (no matter how poorly I write).
Why do you write? How do you see the world?
by Kimberly | Apr 11, 2012 | marriage
I love sports just as much as the next person, but there are somethings that are taken a bit far: including recruiting.
The NCAA basketball champs, the Kentucky Wildcats, will be losing many of their players next year due the the NBA. But, to what ends will their fans go to securing their winning ways? One such fan made this comment to a top recruit:
“I literally got stopped hundreds of times and took dozens and dozens of pictures. The fans were showing me so much love out there, and I definitely have to say that most of the fans were from Kentucky. Now, of course that had a lot to do with the fact that they were playing there, but I’m always just shocked at how dedicated Kentucky fans are. One man asked me if I wanted to take his wife home with me, ha ha. I couldn’t believe it. I was like, “Nah, I’m good,” but that’s just how insane the fans were down there. Great atmosphere.”
There is being a fan – and there is offering your wife in exchange to basketball stars. Have we really come to prostitution to get our basketball team to win?
Now, who is to say that this fan was joking – but I guarantee once his wife found out she probably made him sleep on the couch or may have even asked for a divorce (I’m not condoning either response).
The point of this little blog is to ask where the sanctity of marriage has gone? It is not truly existent in our society – look at the Marriage bill that is on tap for NC come May election time. Look at the number of divorces even among self-proclaimed Christians.
Some would say this fan was just being funny or wanting to gain attention. Scripture has something to say about coarse joking as well.
Here is some Scripture that will help us know how to respond to this fan:
Ephesians 5:4: “Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving.”
Hebrews 13:4: “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.”
And this even applies to people who just want to help their basketball team win.
by Kimberly | Apr 10, 2012 | Bible
Good Friday was indeed good, as my husband said on his facebook status. We got glorious results from our u/s at Duke before lunch, enjoyed MadHatters and some shopping afternoon, and then shared in the Good Friday service at church that night.
I usually don’t post my journal thoughts, but I haven’t sobbed in a service in a long time (ok, blame some of it on pregnancy hormones). So, here goes…
My husband is the worship pastor, so when he got done he immediately sat down on a pew – complete opposite side of the sanctuary from me. (Don’t worry, nothing was wrong between us, he had his reasons and he later explained them, and moved during the transition to the Lord’s Supper which was a blessing to me).
However, as soon as E sat down over there and I knew he wasn’t coming over to me, I just hung my head and started sobbing. I had never felt so alone in my life – really. I don’t know why the loneliness hit me so hard right then. Maybe its the been the difficult transition of churches and relationships. Maybe it was just cause I wanted him to sit beside me. But, I’ve been by myself mean times before, but there was a wall of loneliness I’d never felt before, right at that moment.
Our pastor preached on Psalm 22 that night and walked us through the text. This is why I love expository preachers and journaling Bibles. Here is Psalm 22:1-3:
“My God, my God why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, from the words of my groaning? O my God, I cry by day, but you do not answer, and by night, but I find no rest. Yet You are holy, enthroned on the praises of Israel.”
Here is what I wrote in my journal next to these verses:
“I will always be rejected and forgotten. I can’t always count on anyone. There will be extreme times of loneliness. There’s only one who will never leave me. E will leave me, Baby Campbell will leave me, family will leave. Lord, thank you for that clear reminder that Christ has indeed been forgotten. He had been left on the cross and rejected by all friends and even His Father. Let no other have dearer place to me – God is so near to me. Nearer than anyone else will ever be. Like Hebrews says, Jesus knows my struggles.”
Having that reminder that Jesus knew our pain and our struggles (Heb 4:14-16) helped that night come alive in teaching for me. I sobbed the rest of that service. When E came over to sit by me, I sobbed more – it almost made it worse, though I was very glad he was by my side. A friend brought me some tissue, that was sweet, and I needed it. Lord’s Supper was hard to even look up to take the elements and harder to swallow the bread and juice. As we sang The Power of the Cross I sobbed through that and then that seemed to finally bring the crying to an end.
I left the service, got ready for bed, exhausted, both physically and spiritually. I didn’t tell E that night why I had been crying, but then when I told him I was even able to do so without crying (I don’t think I had any tears left).
Needless to say: it was indeed a Good Friday.
