by Kimberly | Apr 5, 2012 | mothering
Tomorrow is a big day. I feel like I’ve felt like Annie singing “Tomorrow, tomorrow” or how about the little girl in You’ve Got Mail when she sings it which is doubly as cute, but three times as annoying!
Tomorrow is the day we’ve been waiting for for definitely more than a month, but at least 3 weeks since we got this appointment made. What is going on? Our big ultrasound. Here are some hints to how to survive this evening:
1. Eat Peep Smores. I’m so glad its around Easter and these little sugary gems are abundant in the grocery store. I don’t like them by themselves, but ever since I was invited to a Peep’s Party as one of the females on staff at Providence, I’ve enjoyed them. And adding more sugary to already yummy smores – what could be better?
2. Popcorn and a movie. A comedy – with no baby mishaps or miscarriages or baby deaths in it – one that we can laugh at it and enjoy – don’t know what it will be yet, but I’m sure we will find one. And at least for movies: it is very difficult for me to watch one without popcorn!
3. Reading. I won’t be reading any pregnancy “what to expect” books, I’ve already done all of that up until this point, but E and I will be reading some Psalms that are encouraging and reassuring of God’s faithfulness. We did this the night we found out we were going to need to have this ultrasound and then I cried myself to sleep. I won’t be crying myself sleep tonight like I did that night, but instead, I plan on hopefully sleeping well and waking rested to enjoy an ultrasound.
4. Praying. This has really been a time of fruitfulness in prayer in this area. Anxiousness and worrying is not according to God’s wonderful plan for our lives (or our baby’s life) so we could either choose to live in sin or we could hand over those cares and concerns to a God who knows already what we need, what we’ll have, and if the baby will be healthy or not. We can do nothing to change what He has already done (Psalm 139).
5. Community. I have some close friends who I’ve shared specifics to and some others who have asked for specific prayer requests for tomorrow and even more who may be acquaintances but who are very excited to find out what sex Baby Campbell is. I am so thankful for these friends who share this burden with us. They are God-given and an amazing support system. Community is so important when you are going through something important and you need people to walk through it with you. I remember breakfast with a sweet couple the morning we had our doctor’s appt. Just being able to share our burden with them and have them pray for baby C right then in Panera was a blessing to both E and me.
6. Faith. Not faith in “everything’s going to work out fine” but faith in a God who works all things together for my good, knows our needs before we even ask them, is in charge of the whole universe and the health and sex of our baby, faith that that God has already given us everything we need in Jesus, so He will also graciously give us all things for His glory (Romans 8:32).
7. Joy in the suffering. The last three weeks have taught me many things about doubt and uncertainty. It has also taught me that I’m impatient, but that’s beside the point. It is ok to cry. It is ok to share what your thoughts are. But, what is needed at the end of the day is the total assurance that God is in control, He loves me, God is for me so who can be against me or my husband, or our child.
8. Caffeine. I will be drinking it in the morning to get Baby Campbell awake and moving so our baby cooperates with the little wand and cold gel. No number two pencils needed.
by Kimberly | Apr 4, 2012 | Books
I was asked to post my reading list and then what I am currently reading (I just thought I’d throw that in as a bonus), so here goes. This is what I’ve read so far in 2012:
Lit! by Tony Reinke – this was a Crossway book review book and I enjoyed it all. Very strategic and is probably helping with my reading this year. And I even was informed of a book that will be great for my husband as a gift.
Healthy Pregnancy Over 35 by Laura Goetzl- this book was helpful as a started this new journey into motherhood, especially that I’m “old” (in maternal years)
You’ll Lose the Baby Weight by Meehan – I liked this book purely for the sarcastic and humoristic nature of it. Helped me make it through the hardest weeks of the first trimester
Walking in the Spirit by Berding – this was also a Crossway book review book and went through Romans 8. Very helpful to the Christian life, short read, and one I need to remember more of daily as I walk through this life.
A Tailor Made Bride by Karen Witemeyer – this was a free kindle read fiction, so I didn’t lose anything. It was ok.
A Promise to Remember by Cushman – another free kindle fiction read – better than the first.
It Happens Every Spring by Gary Chapman and Catherine Palmer – a fiction book, kindle read, good, had some good application for perseverence in marriage.
The Shunning by Beverly Lewis – the first in a series – very good, quick read.
The Confession by Beverly Lewis – I had to keep reading!
The Reckoning by Beverly Lewis – good, predictable (somewhat) end of the series
Husband-Coached Childbirth by Bradley – helped me understand what might be coming by the end of summer.
Family Meal by Tyler Florence – I borrowed this one but would love to have it if anyone just wants to buy me something. I love reading cookbooks and I love Tyler Florence. Can’t wait to enjoy some of the recipes!
New Mom’s Survival Guide by Wider – this was helpful to know what was coming after the birth, man and to think this process is a joy! 🙂 (hint:sarcasm)
So I guess that makes 13 so far this year and here is what I’m reading now:
Psalms 1-41 by J P Boice (as a help with my quiet time)
What Did You Expect by Tripp – still working through this as its a great marriage book
Love That Lasts by Gary and Betsy Ricucci – E and I are reading this together aloud for car rides and date nights – love it. Very practical. One of my fave marriage books EVER!
Meaning of Marriage by Tim Keller – we were going through this as a small group, but the group had to take a break, so we’ll resume this soon hopefully! It is very thick, but good, Keller writing
Warfield on the Christian Life by Zaspel – this is my latest Crossway book review book and I look forward to reading something outside of the 21st Century!
Memoirs of an Ordinary Pastor by D A Carson – this is a biography on his father, Tom Carson, and I am learning much (as I usually do by Christians who have run the race well)
Loving the Way Jesus Loves by Phil Ryken – I am still working through this Crossway book review from last month. Very hard read (because it is so convicting), but very pastoral as well.
On my kindle:
The Praying Life by Paul Miller – this was a highly recommended book that I hope to finish next week while in Louisville
The Blue Castle by LMM – I look forward to reading this next week as well while I sit in some fun places in my old stomping ground.
There you have it. Besides the Twilight saga and the hunger Games, what else should I be reading?
by Kimberly | Apr 4, 2012 | Books, ethics
I think the first boycott I remember is the Disney boycott years ago when I was in high school (or sometime there about). Something about their movies…I think. It was such a big deal back then and I know to some people it still is, but honestly don’t remember the real reason that Christian’s boycotted Disney. The latest boycott is Starbucks (where I’m sitting right now, sipping on a Vanilla Bean Creme, just ate a blueberry scone, been borrowing their wifi all morning) because they promote gay marriage as a company. So much time has elapsed between high school and now, but the problem still remains…
How should Christians respond to companies who don’t line up exactly with Christian beliefs or biblical practices? Should we boycott or should we keep using their products?
I can’t say I’ve always come down with the same position, but lately I’ve been thinking more about this. How should we voice our opinions in this world that will most decidedly be against everything that is Christian?
As I was reading D. A. Carson’s Scandalous in light of Easter, I came to this excerpt that is mainly on the persecution of Christians and how we have triumphed because we know that Christ has triumphed. I loved his thoughts, especially in light of Christians and our boycotts:
“Do not misunderstand me. We live in a democracy, which is a different form of government from Paul’s, and our Christian responsibilities in this kind of context may mean that we should give a lot of thought as to how to be salt and light in a corrupt and corroding society. We dare not withdraw into a little holy huddle. But we must recognize with every ounce of our being that what finally transforms society is the gospel. There are responsibilities to legislate correctly and pass good laws; God loves justice and holds every nation to account for justice. Promose the well-being of the city. Of course we are responsible to look after the poor. But at the end of the day, what transforms society is still the gospel.
How does the gospel advance? By the word of our testimony: Rev 12:11. This does not mean that they gave their testimonies a lot. That may be a good thing to do, but that is not what their verse means. It refers to Christians bearing testimony to Christ; they bear witness to Christ. They gossip the gospel. They evangelize. That is the central way by which they bear witness to Christ.
Forbid, Lord God, that we should rest so comfortably in our easy and restless society, that we forget that one of the driving dimensions of Christian experience is warfare – not against flesh and blood but against all the hosts of darkness who are filled with rage against us. Help us, Lord God, to see the enemy and then to deploy the gospel answers, the gospel arms, the gospel solutions, which alone are sufficient in this conflict. So return us to the cross, to faithful, glorious, grateful proclamations of the gospel, to self-death that we may follow the Lord Jesus, who died and rose on our behalf.” (Scandalous, pg 104-105, 111).
So, application:
1. If Christians stopped going to Starbucks, what good will that do? Even if all the Christians in the world quit going to Starbucks, would they close their doors or change their stance on gay marriage? (Hint: NO!).
2. If you stopped going to Starbucks, never to walk in their door or buy their coffee again, would that local manager and the baristas know your heart for the gospel and Jesus and love for your neighbor or would they just know what you are against?
3. If we boycott everything that is against Christian beliefs or ethics, we might as well just hide away in our little dirt hut in the middle of nowhere, with no electricity, no food except for what we grow, but where would you buy seeds and fertilizer, and what would your kids wear?
We can’t live apart from this world. God put us here in this world to be a light to it. If someone asks you about the stance that Starbucks has on gay marriage, you can tell them lovingly that while you disagree on the stance and believe that God designed marriage to be between one man and one woman for life in a covenantal relationship with God the Father, that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy good coffee. Maybe even have a date night there with your husband or wife!
by Kimberly | Apr 3, 2012 | Bible
* Please don’t hate me because of this post. I weep with those who weep during miscarriages or infertility. Ask my husband, this is something always on my mind.
* I am excited to be pregnant and know that having a baby will be a life-changing experience that God has granted for my good and holiness and His glory. I look forward to being a mom.
There are different situations in life that illuminate familiar passages of Scripture. Being pregnant is one of them. Genesis 3 is a familiar passage to most who will read this blog. After the sin of Adam and Eve, God gives out punishment or tells all involved what will be the ramifications of them not following God’s laws that He gave them. For the woman, it was to be pain in childbearing.
“To the woman He said, I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children.” – Genesis 3:16a
I don’t know what God exactly meant by this statement, but I’m sure He saw the future of epidurals and different birthing techniques. And He even saw through time (because He is God) and sees my struggle with being pregnant. I know some women who absolutely love being pregnant. They would be pregnant all the time because it agrees with them: not much weight gain, no morning sickness, no tiredness. That is not me.
Here is the timeline for me:
1. Since before we even found out, I was extremely more tired than I was before I was pregnant. Even last night (I’m halfway through week 16 today) I couldn’t even get through watching a whole movie (Moneyball with Brad Pitt – good movie) with my hubs before falling asleep on the couch. I was so exhausted. And it wasn’t even 9pm when it was over. I am tired most of the time.
2. Weight Gain. This honestly is the biggest problem for me and I know God is working all things for my good. I had already gained weight since moving back to NC in 2010, but then I had a lost a bit before Christmas. Excited I mapped out a chart for the year to get back in shape and lose the post-NC/writer weight. That didn’t happen. And with my pregnancy, I need to keep food in my tummy to keep from being nauseous. That doesn’t do well for the scale. I can’t even do anything about it right now. It makes me sad to know I won’t be one of those moms that wore their regular pants till they were like 8 months pregnant and got back in their skinny jeans less than a month after giving birth. That won’t be me either. I can choose healthier foods (but sometimes I want pizza) and I can exercise (see #1). My husband has finally said I have to quit saying I’m fat. I’m working on that.
3. I dislike throwing up. Ok – so thankfully its been almost two weeks since throwing up, but that doesn’t mean I’ve not taken Zofran to help me not feel that way, and I’ve eaten something every 2 hours about (except while asleep) to keep that feeling at bay. But, really, it is no fun.
4. Back pain and stomach pain. I already have back issues and thankfully have a wonderful chiropractor that has made life better the last decade. But, there is constant dull pain. Like that helps with exercising. I know walking and working out does me well, see #1, and note that I do do this walking and exercising when I can. And usually, for menstrual cramps, I can take Aleve. Well, for pregnancy pain, you can’t take Aleve (not good for the baby) so I’m just “dealing with it”.
5. Emotionalness: Wow, poor hubs. I haven’t cried this much – EVER! I try not to be one of those women that blame their anger and irritability on “that time of the month” because even though I know hormones are different that gives me no reason to be snide and snippity and angry and fill-in-the-blank. There is no excuse for sin. We must take every thought captive. This is really tough. Maybe I’ll quit crying about everything sooner or later!
6. Faith. This is a tough part as well. Before our first ultrasound in February, all I did was stress that I would lose the baby. I couldn’t even really get excited about being pregnant. I wouldn’t allow myself that. Then since then I’ve wondered about how our baby will be: with some tests we have coming up. I know that God is good and does all things good. And every good gift and perfect gift is from above and I know that all children are a blessing from the Lord. And I know when I have to start timing the baby’s kicks in utero, I’ll be nervous if I go for a bit without feeling baby campbell move. I can’t see my baby. I can see my expanding tummy (its not all fat), and can see the ultrasound and hear the heartbeat, but all else is faith – and every moment in between those doctors appointments are faith too.
So, while I am excited about the result of this pregnancy (and nervous too – I don’t know how to be a mom), it has been tough. Thankful for the women around me who are an encouragement and thankful for a husband who always points me to Christ. I do not know how single moms do it – my husband is my biggest cheerleader – and will be there and cheering me on with out without an epidural!
And even with Eve’s sin in the garden, all of mankind’s sin (including mine), and all the pain in childbirth and raising a child, God has provided a way for us: Jesus. The Gospel is the answer to all of our sin. He is the answer for the curse of the sin. As it says in just the verse before:
“I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and her offspring; he shall bruise your head, and you shall bruise his heel.” (Genesis 3:15 ESV)
Praising God for the gospel and a chance to bear a son or a daughter that will hopefully come to know Jesus and be a Song for the Nations:
May we be a shining light to the nations A shining light to the peoples of the earth Till the whole world sees the glory of Your name May Your pure light shine through usMay we bring a word of hope to thenations A word of life to the peoples of the earth Till the whole world knows there’s salvation through Your name May Your mercy flow through us
May we be a healing balm to the nations A healing balm to the peoples of the earth Till the whole world knows the power of Your name May Your healing flow through us
May we sing a song of joy to the nations A song of praise to the peoples of the earth Till the whole world rings with the praises of Your name May Your song be sung through us |
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May Your kingdom come to the nations Your will be done in the peoples of the earth Till the whole world knows that Jesus Christ is Lord May Your kingdom come in us May Your kingdom come in us May Your kingdom come on earth |
by Kimberly | Apr 2, 2012 | Uncategorized
* This will be a series on the blog that will Lord-willing become a devotional book in the future. You can pray that these will pierce my heart as I write them and that the devotional book will come together as well.
I am married to a wonderful man and I love him, but marriage isn’t…
Marriage isn’t there so I can make up for the wrong I’ve done by doing 10 good things later in the day. Let me explain. Yes, I don’t know everything perfectly much to my dismay. So my dear sweet husband has to tell me sometimes things to improve upon or things that haven’t been done in a while and that need to be done. When I hear these comments, I cringe. I sulk for a while, I definitely don’t think they add to my day any! But then I set apart in my head a few things that I can do to make up for the fact that I failed in that one area. I might do extra things around the house or make his favorite dessert or write him little notes. These are all good things in and of themselves, but not done with the heart attitude that I have when I do them.
My whole objective for doing these extra nice things is to make E pleased with me again. I feel like if I can do more nice things than bad things, I won’t have failed as a wife.
Am I the only one who ever does this?
So, the other day when this situation occurred again, I got a chance to voice this to E. Through my tears (its a wonder to me that E evens understands what I’m saying) I tried to explain that I do the same thing with God. If I don’t do my quiet time for a few days, I have a longer one on the weekend to “make up” for the ones I’ve missed. Fill in the blank with many other “good things” I can do to make up for my sins. Sorta like praying the rosary.
Friends, we can’t see God in this manner. Our faithful God has already paid the price for our sins, once for all, and has provided the ground work for our salvation: the blood of Jesus. Therefore, there is nothing we can do to make ourselves in better standing with God. We can’t witness more, spend more time in the Word, do our work faithfully, have a cleaner home, or raise better children. Our God is not fooled by our actions.
So, the next time you fail in some way as a wife, make sure you don’t try to “earn wife salvation” by doing 15 things to make up for it. It won’t work. It doesn’t work in marriage and it doesn’t work in the gospel.
Thankful that the Gospel sheds much light on my marriage relationship. Marriage isn’t how I can make up for the wrongs I’ve done, the Gospel has already paid the final cost by the blood of Christ.
