by Kimberly | Jul 13, 2011 | Women
Wow – this one was convicting. Jeff Pollard is an Elder at a church in Pensacola, FL and did a great job in defining the term “modesty” beyond – what you wear or don’t wear on your body.
“Modesty, like humility, is the opposite of boldness or arrogance. It does not seek to draw attention to itself or to show off in an unseemly way. Webster apparently links chastity with modesty because chastity means moral purity in thought and conduct. Moral purity, like humility, will not exhibit sensuality any more than ostentation.”
Modsty is not first an issue in clothing – it takes root much deeper – in the heart. And that is the hardest part to attack. It is easy to change your wardrobe, but it takes a work of the Spirit to change the heart.
Here is a fun thought/not so fun thought:
My wedding: I want to have fun crazy shoes for the dress instead of traditional white. Why? Because I want fun shoes. I like shoes. Why not? Not many people will see them anyway. Not so fun thought: I want people to notice me, I want to display my sense of shoe style. Why? Inner struggle. God to help!
“Where ambition reigns within, there will be no modesty in the outward dress.” I think of this mostly with two things: women who are trying to scale the corporate ladder by wearing tight pencil skirts and point high heeled shoes, or women who are doing the pursuing in a relationship. I know those are two broad stereotypes, but they are somewhat accurate worldly portrayals.
Shamefacedness – not a word we use all the time – not is it really a word I want to use all the time. This is how George Knight writes about it in his Pastoral Epistles commentary: “a moral feeling, reverence, awe, respect for the feeling or opinion of others or for one’s own conscience.” So, I might dislike the word, but love what it means. Do you live your life in wanting to honor Christ – and honor the other person. Romans tells us to outdo one another in showing honor. Ladies – this comes in the way we dress and carry ourselves. I am hopefully honoring my fiance’ when I choose to dress modestly instead of wearing clothes I shouldn’t or acting in a way I shouldn’t – just to entice him to sin. I want to help him, and other brothers in Christ – to seek Christ, pursue holiness – not cause them to stumble.
“Christian modesty is the inner self-government, rooted in a proper understanding of one’s self before God, which outwardly displays itself in humility and purity from a genuine love for Jesus Christ, rather than in self-glorification or self-advertisement.” I loved this. Also most convicting. This goes way beyond what we wear: it goes to our motivation for always buying new clothes, wearing the latest styles, or being so out of style that you draw attention to yourself, or wearing dresses down to your ankles just to be “modest”. It is all a matter of the heart.
So…how do you guard your heart: (by resting in Christ) – Phil 4, Prov 4,
How do you honor your brothers or husbands?
And – how do your stylish, pretty clothes say: purity, humility, and moderation?
by Kimberly | Jul 12, 2011 | Uncategorized
I was given a little booklet on different takes on modesty by my soon-t0-be-hubs. It was something he received in the mail that he thought I might like to read as I minister to women – not because he felt like I needed to change the way I dress. But, I always need to be encouraged in this area as well.
I’m going to jot down some thoughts on each of these little papers: this is one by Robert Spinney, who is a professor at Patrick Henry College in Virginia. Some of these quotes are taken from Dressed to Kill.
“The Christian’s wardrobe is no small matter.” What a profound introduction statement. We often get up in the morning, get dressed, and do so without thinking about what we are wearing. We need to think more about it. Not from a prideful or materialistic mind and heart, but in a “how can I honor Christ and my brothers” way.
This discussion is not about checklists and legalism. But, let’s continue to pursue modesty out of a necessity to glorify Christ more with our dress.
Hebrews 12:14 “Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord.” How do we strive for holiness even in this area. I remember a few weeks ago having to go to the store to buy a bathing suit top. I had some cute shorts from last season and I just needed to find a modest top. Do you know how hard that is? Really – three stores. 26$. One bathing suit top. Still didn’t feel modest in it. But don’t hear me say that I think we should wear “bathing dresses” like they did in former days.
What do we do when we want to dress stylishly but not immodestly? There are things called t-shirts and tank tops that you can wear under low-cut shirts. But, I would (even for myself) have to question that. Because even when you wear a low cut top with something underneath it to make it not as low: I for one am often concerned about it (to know if the undershirt is staying put) and wear are guys eyes focusing? Is it better for me to be the most stylish person in the room, or the one who honors my brothers? Yes, you can do both – it is just hard.
As I was recently shopping for my wedding dress: I asked if it could be strapless. To some people, strapless and modest will never be able to co-exist. However, I did find one that is extremely flattering and simple and modest – and strapless. Another factor was the “bling”. Where are my others’ eyes drawn to on my wedding dress. Some dresses have low-cut backs or beading/brooches right on the chest – is that really the most honoring to our brothers?
Spinney brings up that modesty is mainly a male issue, not a female one. God’s directive to men (husbands, fathers) is to protect and lead. They can lead in this area as well. I’ve heard CJ Mahaney and his family say this on many occasions, so this is nothing new. Husbands: love your wives enough to not them go out of the house with revealing clothing on as to not let her be ogled over by the guys she’ll come in contact with that day. Wives: ask your husbands to go shopping with you (or to approve what you buy) so you know what will both please him and allow you to be modest at the same time. Dads: protect your daughters. Teach them how men’s minds think and how visual they are when it comes to skin and clothes and bodies of girls. Teach them to honor Christ in their clothing choices. I know a Dad that goes shopping with his two daughters partly for this reason. Kudos!
I loved this Virginia Woolf quote that Spinney uses: it says a lot to what clothes say about us:
“There is much to support the view that it is clothes that wear us and not we them; we may make them take the mold of arm or breast, but they would mold our hearts, our brains, our tongues to their liking.”
“It is not only your reputation that is at stake when you wear improper clothing: God’s reputation is also at stake.”
by Kimberly | Jul 11, 2011 | Uncategorized
1. Less than three months to go.
2. Jesus is a better HOPE!
3. I love watching people worship who really look like they mean what they are singing. Do you look like you know and believe what you are singing (and actually believe what you are singing – not just putting on a show)?
4. I went to two weddings this weekend. I love weddings – because it helps me to think through what I want in mine. I loved the simplicity of one and the generosity of the other. Both completely different. Our wedding will be our own too.
5. Pinterest – are you pinning? Another social media site? Another feeder? Just wondering? This is fun and gives me ideas.
6. Books I’m reading right now: The Greener Grass Conspiracy, This Momentary Marriage, Mark of a Man, Power of a Praying Wife, What Did You Expect
Link Love:
1. Since I’ll be doing more menu planning come end of October – what do you use to meal plan?
2. I think I’ll make this for the upcoming weekend to celebrate – summer, I don’t know, celebrate something every day though. Makes life fun!
3. Maybe make this for the next day? These are great summer vegetarian finds – but all I have to do is grill up some chicken or steak for a nice rounded meal.
4. Do you have this view point of eating healthily? Hopefully not. Especially with summer there are so many healthy good fresh things out there.
by Kimberly | Jul 6, 2011 | Books
I truly believe that what you BELIEVE about the deity of Christ will determine if you accurately believe the Gospel. This book is a good start in helping understand that (outside the Bible of course).
Morgan and Peterson have put together an expert team, both of pastors and professors, who excel at knowing and studying the deity of Christ. The most incredible chapter is the first one: The Deity of Christ Today. This chapter could be used to lead a small group on a college campus or for a high school small group discussion in the summer. They highlight modern films that have a portrayal of Christ and how that lines up with Scripture. Nichols is skilled at taking the secular and helping the reader see the Christ in it (or not in it).
This book is significant in three areas:
1. For research. The last 17 pages are a huge asset to me, especially as I write curriculum: bibliography, subject index, and Scripture index. So needed – thank you!
2. For personal lordship. Christ must be Lord of a believer’s life. This is crucial to any understanding of salvation. This book helps you see who Christ is so you can take the accurate, real Christ (of the Bible) and change your life to mirror HIS! You must start with an accurate view of Christ.
3. For missions. I don’t know of any world religion that has a Biblically-accurate view of Christ at the center of its theology or worldview. Many believe in Jesus – just not the Jesus of the Bible. This book will help you, read along side Scripture, to know how to counter the views of false religions as you share Jesus with the world.
Christ is not the American Jesus.
by Kimberly | Jul 6, 2011 | Books
I am grateful for brilliant men who teach at seminaries who write in such a way that is engaging and not so jargon-filled. That is one of the characteristics of Redeeming Sociology by Vern Poythress (Westminster) that I enjoy the most. Very engaging, readable, applicable, and understandable.
Poythress starts with the best premise for the book: how to look at the complexity of sociology and relationships: the WORD of GOD. The sufficiency of all we need for how to live in right relationships with others and with God is found in the Word – God’s very breathed words of life. Starting in Genesis and following through to the end of Revelation – the Bible is about relationship. Relationship with God the Father, the Son, and the Spirit. Relationship with husband and wife. Relationship with parents and children. Relationship with friends. Relationships to authority. Relationship to the world and missions, evangelism. Poythress hits on all of these with the same guideline: the Bible has the answer.
The Gospel heals what sin has torn apart. Relationships are hard because of sin. God wants to bring them into harmony and that is only accomplished by the Gospel. Similar to Paul Tripp’s book Broken-Down House, Poythress also believes that the Gospel holds the answer to what ails our relationships.
So, if you are in any relationship at all, I would suggest picking up this book. You’ll be pleasantly surprised and how applicable it is to your daily life and ministry.
