by Kimberly | Dec 5, 2016 | Books, parenting
One thing that I think every parent longs for is a how-to manual. Well, maybe that, sleep, silence, and some time alone, and more money, but I digress.
How-to manuals do not exist. They don’t. I think it is mainly because every child is different so I don’t know how anyone would write one anyway.
I’ve only been parenting for over 4 years now – two boys are different then I thought they would be, but that isn’t necessarily a bad thing – just different. So, where do I turn for parenting advice?
Actually, my number one piece of advice on how to find parenting advice: seek out parents whose parenting style (and kids) you actually like/respect. Find a couple who has parented well (and of course, every parent makes mistakes) and ask them to hang out with you (and your kids) and give you pointers. In our parenting careers, there are a few parenting pairs who are further along in the parenting journey than we are – that we respect them, their walk with God, and how their kids have turned out – and we ask them questions. When I’m facing a decision or a discipline issue, I want tangible advice, so I text a friend or send an email to a few moms. They are a wealth of information.
Here’s what you need to do though. If you ask a few people, and they may each give you different advice – you still have to work it out in your own home. I take in all the advice, run it by my husband, talk to him about it, get on the same page, try it out, and maybe still regroup if that doesn’t work. Everyone will give you advice on how to raise your kids – but you can’t possibly take all the advice you receive. God has given you a teammate (hopefully) in your spouse, and he’s given you the Holy Spirit. Wisdom and partnership, prayer and community.
Another helpful tool in the parenting game is books. I’m an avid reader and honestly had read most of the philosophical parenting Christian books before I even had kids. I worked in ministry with parents and went to seminary in the Christian education department. But, man, it is different applying all of those when you have kids. One book I recently have read is Things I Wish I’d Known Before We Became Parents by Gary Chapman (of the Five Love Languages fame). Through general topics, real-life experience, humor, and practical steps, talking points, and hope – he helps parents navigate through some big obstacles in parenting. I wasn’t surprised by any of his topics, and most of his advice was a refresher course, but so helpful to hear tips from someone who has been there and done that. One of the aspects of the book I like the most is the talking points at the end of each chapter. Parenting is tough. When you are talking about it with your spouse, or if you are a solo parent, with others – you are already anchored with questions to ask, or discussion questions to help point you in the right direction.
If you would like to win a copy of this book, then just leave me a comment with the best piece of parenting advice you’ve ever received. That’s it. Thanks to Sidedoor Communications and Northfield Publishing for the chance to read this book, give a copy away, and all opinions are my own.
by Kimberly | Dec 1, 2016 | Uncategorized
Some things in life are not worth fighting over: team sports, lesser theological topics, some political issues, etc. But, there are definitely some things worth fighting for: marriage is one of them. And the only one you are totally responsible for is your own. Yes, you can pour into other couples and their marriage and you can disciple others, but ultimately you are only responsible for your own.
Being married for 5 years, and having gone through some really difficult circumstances in those 5 years: out-of-state moves, job changes, traumatic birth, another birth soon after, commission jobs, change in life direction, loss of friendships, damaging personal relationships…we’ve had to fight for our marriage.
Here are some things we do to fight for our marriage:
- Sometimes, you go to bed angry. Ok – we’ve all heard the saying don’t go to bed angry, and the principle is biblical (don’t let the sun go down upon your anger). We’ve learned that one thing we can do when we are angry with each other is sometimes just go to bed. When we are tired and crabby and angry – we usually don’t have healthy conversations. So, we will call it a night, go to bed, and typically by morning, we are better. We will still have some things to talk about, but we have rested, prayed, and calmed down.
- Taco Night. Often times during the week my husband and I don’t eat meals together. He’s at work, I eat with the kids, he gets home late, etc. But, on Sunday nights, as far as it is up to us, about 830pm, after the kids are in bed, I get Chipotle tacos and guac – 12$ if we buy two guacs. We sit on the couch, talk, eat, laugh. Sometimes we will talk for about 3 hours – something we did when we were dating, married but didn’t have children, you know the scene. Sometimes we will watch a show on Netflix (right now: Leverage, West Wing, Blacklist). Just sitting shoulder to shoulder, eating yummy food (that I didn’t have to cook), and talking or just being with each other – ends our weekend, long Sunday, and spurs us on to be married another week. I love it!
- Being in the Word. We do not do our devotions together. We actually find it hard to pray together and it is something we are working at. But, we do each have time in the Word each day, and that helps us love God and love each other better. I often tell him what I need: more of Jesus, more of him. Two things I can never have too much of. Cary and Dena Dyer have written a book for couples, a compilation of their story as a couple, humor, biblical wisdom for married couples, and discussion questions. A couple things I really liked about the book was they shared their own stories. Some marriage books give tips and pointers but don’t delve into their personal marriage any. I love people’s stories and I want to know how they live their marriage each day. Another thing I liked was the talking points at the end of each chapter. Some couples find it hard to talk – or find things to talk about – and need help. One thing I didn’t like was that I couldn’t see my husband reading this book. It didn’t seem to fit a guy writing/reading style. I know most books are bought and read by women. So, maybe how a wife could do incorporate Love at First Fight into her marriage is by bringing up some of the questions to her husband.
- Get the long vision. I heard one time that marriage is a long walk in the same direction. Get a long vision of marriage. We seemingly have been in one hard season after another in our 5 years of marriage. And maybe one day the hard season will end, but we know that we wouldn’t want to walk these hard seasons alone, or with anyone else.
If you would like to win a copy of Love at First Fight, just leave a comment on your best marriage tip. Sponsored by Shiloh Publishers and Sidedoor Communications. All thoughts are my own.
by Kimberly | Nov 21, 2016 | Books, Kids r Readers 2
I didn’t always love to read. I went to a Christian school and read when I had to. I remember reading Sweet Valley High, John Grisham novels, and The Babysitter’s Club. Also, started reading the Bible and Max Lucado books when I got to high school. I didn’t read any of the classics growing up – I waited and have read some as an adult.
Now, I love to read, and I want to make sure my children read well as they grow up. It is such an important discipline, it can be fun, and will prepare them well for adulthood. I’ve teamed up with my friend Leah Finn to provide yall with some tips on how to raise kids who love to read. Most of her children are older than mine and are reading on their own. Believe me, even if your kids aren’t reading on their own yet, you can still instill in them a love of books and reading.
- Let them pick out books they are interested in. Even if it is silly/not high literature (as long is it is appropriate). There is great joy in going to a library and being able to bring home a stack of books that you like. Kids love it and it helps them be interested in the books. How this is illustrated in our family is that for our older’s 4th birthday, he went on a day-date with Daddy. This year they went to our local library and picked out lots of dinosaur books. He came home and was all excited about reading and looking at the dinosaur books. One bit I would add is maybe pick out one or two for them each week in a different genre. This might broaden their horizons to the classics, biographies, or just a different topic.
- Read aloud classics and quality books. This is where they can get their “good” books in. Use voices and expressiveness to engage their interest. Read Aloud Revival is a great resource for finding books to read aloud. Kids are never too old to be read to. I love walking down the stairs most mornings to find my husband reading to our younger son. This is some great bonding time for them in the early mornings. And I love the time when I’m putting my older to bed, when I get to read aloud to him. Right now we are almost finished with Little House in the Big Woods and I’m eager to complete the series with him. I’ve also read some of the Narnia series with him.
- Use audiobooks to squeeze in extra reading time This can be in the vehicle while you travel, during rest time, while coloring or playing with legos, etc. I need to get better at this, and I think it will come as they get older. But, I do have the Narnia series on audio cd and I adored listening to them as an adult, and then read all the books (which I hadn’t done as a child).
One of the ways I’m always introducing new books to my children, is by being a part of Tommy Nelson Mommies. This month, we were given One Small Donkey. This book is great for preschoolers. It is told through the voice of a small donkey about the journey of Mary and Joseph to Bethlehem. It is a fun little story and teaches some truths about Jesus, creation, and worship at the manger. It takes some liberties, but it really is just a cute story you can read with your children. You can read it to them, then read the Bible story of the same account, talk about different aspects of truth and Christmas with your children.
If you would like to win this book for your own family library, just leave me a comment about which one of these tips above you incorporate into your parenting – or one you would like to include. Thanks Leah for helping me with this post, and thanks Tommy Nelson for the book.
by Kimberly | Nov 11, 2016 | Uncategorized
Happy Friday.
One of the people I’ve known the longest in my life is my Papa. For all but 8 months of my life growing up (until I went to college), he lived across the pasture from me. He taught me to fish and make french fries from scratch. He always called me Kimberly. He taught me how to pick oranges and muscadines. He fought in battles to make this country what it is today. And at 93, he is still mowing his yard, and having conversations about the government or fishing to anyone who will listen. Thanks Papa for serving our country!
You don’t need to be planning a wedding, or going to a wedding to enjoy these cocktails. On a side note, I got to hang out with Cathy this week at our Pursuit Communities Atlanta Friendsgiving. I made a tart, did the place cards, many others brought yummy foods, Mandi hosted the event, we sat around the table discussing our craft, our families, our histories and our futures. Thankful for this creative group.
All you moms out there – you need to read this. So gospel centered and right on point.
I do love a good cookbook, but there are so many out there. How do you pick a good cookbook?
Tonight, if it were just my mister and me, I would make this soup, and have some of this apple pie, and just hang out on the couch.
Raising kids makes me think about a lot: how I was raised, how I want to raise my boys, what does it mean to be a family in 2016 and beyond.
by Kimberly | Nov 7, 2016 | World Events
West Wing. Such a great show. My husband and I had heard for so many years that this was definitely a show to binge on, and we finally started it about a year ago. We took a small hiatus, and finally started it back up again last night in season 4. (No spoilers please). Last night we watched an episode where they interviewed past Presidents and some WH staff. It was very interesting, especially hearing Bill Clinton, who may very well be the “First Mister” in two days.
Every four years, we as Americans get the chance to witness an act that brings out the best and the worst of Americans. The election of POTUS clogs up social media, runs every news hour, and is the topic of many church sermons. Some of that is warranted, some of it is overdone.
I have been reading Hannah Anderson’s new book Humble Roots, and although the topic of the book is so far from the POTUS election, it is on a state of heart that would do us well to have during this election season. If you follow social media at all, most people are uptight about this election, because no matter where you fall in political position, most likely neither candidate, or any write in, or third party, will line up exactly with all of your beliefs, or really has a chance of winning. We joke about electing Charlie Brown, or Jed Bartlett, or George Washington, or any member of the Cubs baseball organization. We can’t control the outcome of the election.
“All your anxiety, all your worry, all your sleeplessness, can’t change a thing. And suddenly you come face to face with your limitations.”
As I have come to know the past couple of days, there are really only a few responses that we have as Christians. After the voting takes place, we don’t need to fret, or complain, or trash the candidates, or even joke about moving to another country depending on who wins the office. Below I’ve listed some of the responses that we can have:
- We can realize that we aren’t the POTUS. We aren’t the one sitting behind the desk in the Oval Office, jetting around on Airforce One, signing lots of bills into place. And with that in mind, I don’t think we can even begin to criticize what the POTUS does. When we criticize someone in the office, or any elected office, we display a heart of pride. And ungratefulness. Humility and gratitude go hand in hand like a beautifully wrapped package. Our humility allows us to rest and not criticize or be anxious. This goes with so much in life, which includes the coming election. “So what does it mean to trust Jesus for rest? How does seeking His kingdom free us from anxiety and stress? He frees us from our burdens in the most unexpected way: He frees us by calling us to rely less on ourselves and more on Him. He frees us by calling us to humility.”
- We can pray. We can pray to a God who puts all the kings and presidents in place. We can pray to a God who is in control of every election and every vote in every country in the world. We can pray to a God who grieves over the sin of abortion and the mistreatment of refugees, and the abuse of women, and the lack of leadership, and a lack of acknowledgment of Him as the True King. He is so more able than we are. I think much of our anxiety regarding life, motherhood, or the POTUS election is based in our lack of trust and failure to pray.
- We can pray FOR the POTUS – whoever it might be. Whether we have a Clinton or a Trump – we only have one response to them – to pray for them. To respect them as their position calls for. Our bashing of the POTUS speaks only of our disobedience. We are to submit ourselves to the POTUS because God has put that person in place of leadership. That doesn’t mean we have to perform abortions or do anything against the Word of God. We don’t have to change our political beliefs. We do need to pray, be gracious to others who might have differing opinions, and be active in a gracious, humble way. Being rebellious to the Word of God by bashing the President will not bring glory to the name of Jesus, who has called to us obey HIM above all.
Humble Roots is a fabulous book y’all. Especially as a mom of littles and a creative and blogger, I often read books that talk so much about how to deal with our frazzled lives. How to balance, plan, organize, etc. This book takes a different approach to our frazzled lives. Anderson gets at the heart of our frazzled-ness. She uses personal examples, the Word of God, and gardening (such wonderful illustrations) throughout the book to get at the heart of our wrecked lives.
“And so we must respond to Jesus’ call. We must come to Him. We must come to Him and learn of His gentleness and humility. We must come to Him to be tamed.”
All quotes taken from Humble Roots by Hannah Anderson. Published by Moody. Thank you for Moody for sending me the book as part of their review program. All opinions are my own.
