I remember all those Mother’s Days where I just sat there…in the pews…seeing men pass out roses to their beautiful wives who were the mother of the their children. Listening to countless sermons telling me that being a mother was the best thing you could do in this life and nothing would ever come close to matching it. Telling me if I was a woman that I was created to be a mother. Being a mother is priceless. And God did create some women the ability to birth babies.
Past: I didn’t become a wife until I was 34 and was barely pregnant (hince a mother) that same year. I got to see my baby’s face when I was 35. That is a good 12 years after I should have been married and started having babies. That is 12 mother’s days sermons that I had to endure. Yes, endure. There were a few that I wouldn’t attend. I don’t normally like to cry during sermons. And I wasn’t married, didn’t have a baby, yet I was failing at the one thing that God had created me for.
Move on to today: Motherhood is a joy with lots of hugs and giggles and storytimes, but it is also hard. I have two amazing toddlers that I would never wish to have life without. I don’t want to miss a second of their growing and learning and running and playing. But, being a mother is a gut-wrenching job. It is a great task that can only be handled by the grace of God. And I’ve cried more since being a mom. I can’t watch shows with the same eyes as I do now that I have two little boys. I see Scripture and the Gospel in a whole new light – and know I need it now more than ever before. I cry for friends who have lost children, or who haven’t had the joy of being pregnant, or have had adoptions fail, or have lost foster children they have come to love as their own. Sin wreaks havoc on this world. The Gospel is our need. Every mother needs the Gospel. But every woman needs the gospel too. We are not counted more worthy because we are mothers, the blood of Christ already has made us righteous!
Future: My boys are (Lord willing) going to continue to grow, learn how not to throw food on the floor, learn how to tie their own shoes, take out the trash (my husband will be happy), and hopefully one day trust in Jesus. And when that day comes (I’m praying it will), I will still need the Gospel. When I’ve been a mom for two decades and they are both in college or living out another dream they have for their lives…I will need the gospel. When my littles are joined at the altar by their adoring brides…I will need the gospel.
I need to fill my mind daily and hourly and even minute by minute with the hope that I will never be a perfect mom – but I have a perfect Jesus who helps me in my times of weakness!
So thankful. And to Elijah and Sebastian – I love you both. Your eyes and kisses and hugs and vocabulary are a delight to me. Run to Jesus, babies!
If you are in the church…then you might have figured out that the church isn’t perfect – and everyone in the church isn’t just like you. The church is made up of sinners who have been redeemed by a gracious God. Everyone is different, has different opinions, and has different gifts. So, what are you to do when you have differing opinions (not right or wrong)?
Collin Hansen, guru over at The Gospel Coalition, has written a book to answer such questions. I found this book difficult to read – not because of how it is written, but that it is so introspective and points to the sin that is in all of our hearts (when wanting our own way). Thankfully, Collin doesn’t leave his readers there. He offers the hope of the Gospel and also some ways to apply this grace even in the church.
“And when these differences cohere around the Gospel of Jesus Christ, they work together to challenge, comfort, and compel a needy world with the only that will never fail or fade.” (pg 23)
The hardest thing about differences in the church is everyone always thinks they are right. This writing by Hansen helps us to see that there are gospel-centered ways to handle our differences, how to engage together with those who are not like-minded, and how not to point fingers. Pointing fingers doesn’t get you anywhere.
This would be a good read for:
1. Me…because if I see differences in the church I am quick to point out how I would do things differently or why I don’t think this such and such is working.
2. Church leaders who seem to have a thriving church – but know that there are differences within their congregations.
3. Churches on either end of the spectrum. Maybe you are a church leader who has a congregation that loves missions and serving the poor and has dynamite electric worship with a rocking praise team – but you are really low on theology. Or maybe you sing out of hymn books, would never use the drums, and barely see any conversions all year – but your people know the Bible. We are all sinners and desperately need the hope of the Gospel for us to love Jesus and look more like Jesus on Sundays – and every day of the week!
I’ve been anticipating writing this post for a while. So, when I stepped on the scale this morning and it showed the number that I saw when I had my first doctor’s appt to confirm my pregnancy with my first little boy – I did a silent little squeal than ran and hugged my husband.
This has been an almost 3 year journey. My older boy will turn three in September. I had a rough delivery and that meant for a very painful recovery. I could hardly sit or walk or stand without pain for 3 months. Included in that was a move two states away. I couldn’t exercise and I couldn’t lose the baby weight then as fast as I wanted. I had gained 75 pounds and I wanted it off.
Why did I gain 75 lbs? Well, some of it was baby – but not that much. It was a hard pregnancy with much sickness. I remember flying to TX in the late first trimester and having sour gummy worms and salt and vinegar chips on the plain, a Wendy’s value meal in the airport, then more gummy worms on the second flight. I ate so much that pregnancy including CFA grilled nugget meals and Cook-Out shakes. I hardly exercised till the third trimester and then I was too big so I just walked in order to get him out! I should have had stock in G2 because that is all I drank. Not a way to have a great, healthy pregnancy. Some of that was sin – my rationalizing my gluttony because I was eating for two.
Shortly after my older was born, we found out I was pregnant with our second little boy. I had only lost about 30 lbs. What was I going to do? I knew I couldn’t gain as much with this one, and thankfully it was an easier pregnancy and it was a 4-week shorter pregnancy. I walked almost every day at the river near our house or at the zoo. I just pushed that stroller. Turns out I only gained about 30 with my second which is much more normal. By the time I was home about 4 days I had lost it all. Wow, couldn’t the first one have been that easy?
So, I had almost 40 lbs then to lose to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight. Its taken me 19 months. We have moved in that time and having two toddler boys is very stressful and hard – and wonderful and lots of hugs. But, I’m an emotional/comfort eater. And I love to bake. Those two are hard when you are trying to lose weight.
Every pregnancy is different and every weight loss journey is different. What you will find listed below is what helped me.
1. Admit your sinful tendencies. I confess my overeating sin often to God and my husband. Both offer forgiveness. My husband gives me counsel and encouragement and never holds it over my head.
2. Make a plan. Whether it is to eat less carbs, stay away from sodas, eat more fruits, join a program, join a gym – whatever it might be – write it down or tell it to others. This accountability is such a help!
3. Have accountability. I’ve done this weight loss journey before but this is the most I’ve lost. I have a few friends who ask me how its going via text. I love that. Having a husband is good accountability because I want to look good for him. And knowing he still weighs less than I do is good motivation to keep me going to my ultimate goal. Some of you may join a weight loss program for the accountability. I love Weight Watchers. I’ve lost weight before with it.
4. Basic: eat less, move more. Losing weight (if no other health problems) is that easy! Really. Try it. Moving is essential to losing weight. My mom is so gracious and pays for a gym membership and childcare. But, if you don’t have that, go to a park and run with your kids, pop in a DVD in the morning or during nap time.
5. Have motivation. I’d love to say to my only motivation is to please God but I know that isn’t it. Yes, it is a part of it because God commands us to honor Him with our bodies. But, I also want to look good, fit into my skinny jeans and all those size 8 dresses in my closet, run faster, play with my boys without getting out of breath, and not be an overweight mom…I’d rather be a healthy mom! I want to be a stylish trim mom. I asked my husband to set my goal prize for losing the baby weight. He knows I love to bowl but we’ve never done it. He said let’s go bowling! It wasn’t a food prize. That would defeat the purpose! My prize for getting back to wedding weight (11 more pounds) is an article of clothing from Talbots which I love. And then my prize for making my goal weight is some time at Massage Envy. Having extrensic motivation is helpful!
6. Focus. Discipline and self-control are both fruits of the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit living in me is a great thing and necessary at all times. He provides my self-control. I just have to fight the war with my flesh to eat too much. And as I’ve talked to my husband about my sinful food relationship – I know this is a battle I will never win until I see Jesus. Then I will have a perfect body and won’t even need skinny jeans – but…the Spirit is here to help me in the meantime.
7. Pursue the Gospel. Realize that you may never lose all the baby weight. Realize you aren’t defined by the scale or the number that magically appears when your feet step on it. Jesus loves you no matter what you way. He died on the cross to pay for our sins – which might include for you – a sinful relationship to food. I have it. I think most people probably have some sinful attitude with food. God made our bodies. He made you to carry a baby and birth a baby. You did it. Your body may never look the same. My body may be the same weight but it doesn’t look the same. God is after your heart. Jesus died to save you! He lives so you can fight the flesh and serve Him with your body.
I’m not done losing weight. I still want my wedding dress to fit again and it to get too big. And I still have 22 lbs to be in a healthy weight range for my height. So, the battle of the bulge continues.
This week I’m still cooking normal for my misters, but I’m still trying to go without breads or pastas or sweets, so we eat a little differently then we normally do. My mister’s metabolism is such that he still needs carbs, so I make some things just for him!
Zucchini Muffins
Pioneer Woman’s Chicken Spaghetti. This was probably the first PW recipe I remember making back in 2008 when I made it for a friend’s meal after she had her baby. She loved it. My boys thought it was ok. My husband thinks he will love it.
Roasted zucchini and beets
Green Berry Smoothies and Strawberry Beet Smoothie
For Cinco de Mayo we are doing buffalo chicken tacos (but I’m making my own buffalo sauce) and guacamole. Later in the week I’m doing some salsa verda chicken.
Individual egg quiches are always a winner with my family.
One of the women who have shaped my theological thinking and has been a friend to me the last 8 years is Courtney Reissig. I first met Courtney in Louisville when we both worked for deans of the SBTS and had some ministry with CBMW. She then got married and I moved away to Raleigh.
Then I got married, and she moved to Little Rock. Then we moved to Little Rock. Even though we were at separate churches, I was glad to meet up with her every now and then to talk life, marriage, parenting, and ministry.
If I still lived in Little Rock, I would probably pick up some coffee and head on over to their house (about a mile from where we used to live), let our boys play, and share this conversation with her in person. She’s due any day now with another little boy. Since I’m not in Little Rock, I used modern technology and asked her these questions about her new book, The Accidental Feminist, and about coffee. You’ll get a chance to hear how writing this book shaped her heart and family and her relationship with her heavenly Father…and about her coffee direction.
Thanks Courtney.
1. Writing a book is a time-heavy endeavor. How did you manage 2 toddlers, a husband, and serving in your church – while writing a book?
That’s a question I get often. In all honesty it was by the complete grace of God. The prevailing theme in my life as I wrote the book was unexpected weakness. 2 Corinthians 12:9 was very dear to my heart throughout the entire process. It says:
“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”
Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” I got pregnant halfway through writing the book, sadly it was followed by a pretty complicated miscarriage that seemed to drag on. In God’s kindness, I got pregnant again right as the editing process was starting and was fairly sick through most of the editing. There were many days where I thought I would not be able to get it done, but God was faithful to give me words when I needed to write them, and provide the necessary energy to write and think. Practically speaking, this book has been in my head for a long time, so in a lot of ways it flowed out of me primarily because I had done so much thinking and writing about it before I ever had a book contract. Also, my husband was a tremendous blessing in providing me space and time to write. When I wasn’t pregnant, I would get up early in the morning to write and he would get our boys started with the day. I also did a couple of overnight writing retreats and that really helped with getting large chunks of writing done. For the most part, though, the book was written during nap time and in the early morning hours. I just process better earlier in the day, rather than later.
2. You’ve obviously thought about this topic of feminism much. What is one new thing you learned in your research for this particular book?
I read a book on the history of first wave feminism towards the end of the process and I was struck by how white the early feminist movement was. One of the dividing lines of the early feminist movement was whether or not they would include African-American women’s issues on their platform. Many of them, largely influenced by the spirit of the age, did not see a need to include African-American women in their fight. I had always known that some early feminists, like Margaret Sanger, wanted to eliminate those she saw as unfit for society (like minorities, disabled people, and the poor), but I didn’t know that within the larger movement there was such a lack of minority representation. That was really interesting to me–and of course, really troubling. It showed me that it’s easy to only think in terms of our own culture and context when we apply truths to our lives without looking at people who are different than us and really trying to understand where they are coming from and how our ideas might be interpreted by them or applied differently to their lives.
3. The local church is important in this shaping us to look more like Christ. What is one way that women can be purposeful in their relationships with other women in the church to help each other grow in our womanhood?
I think the primary way woman can be purposeful in their relationships with other women is to take initiative themselves. It’s easy to assume that no one has time for you, or that others aren’t interested in your life, when in reality everyone is waiting for someone to approach them first. I know I do that more often than I should. If we want to see women flourish in their understanding of God and his word and we want to see relationships develop among women, then we have to be willing to make the first move. In my own life, I know my reticence to taking initiative is often owing to fear (which is really pride). I’m afraid of rejection or afraid that the person will think I’m too needy. But I am needy. We all are. We need the body of Christ to encourage each other, fight sin together, and remain steadfast in the faith. One of the encouraging things that I see in the local church today is the desire women have to study God’s word. That is one practical way relationships can be forged, through intentional study of the Bible together. There are many more, of course, but that is the best place to start.
4. How did writing this book shape your relationship with your husband and your children?
That’s a good question. First, with my husband, it really showed me how much he truly supports me. Writing a book is not an isolated effort. Of course, there is a lot of time spent alone as you crank out chapters (which is a challenge for an extrovert like me!), but it’s also about the community that shapes your thoughts. My husband has probably talked more about feminism than he ever thought he would! He is my greatest support, but also my toughest critic. In the early stages of writing, I struggled with his criticism because I took it so personally when he said something didn’t make sense or didn’t sound true. But as we’ve walked through this process together, I’ve learned that because he is my greatest supporter, I can trust his criticism. His critiques are faithful and in my best interest. He’s not out for my evil, but for my good. And he’s a really good editor. If only it didn’t take me so long to appreciate it! With my children, it’s a little different. They are two (and as of right now, my third son is still in utero), so they can’t read yet. But as I researched for the book and learned more about feminism’s influence on men and how our culture perceives them, I became more convinced of the need for understanding the far reaching impact feminism has had on all of us. I want to raise my sons to be men who love God, love and respect women, and love God’s word. That is counter-cultural in a world that expects very little from our men, and it frankly scares me to raise them in a world where they are expected to be either ignorant boys who never grow up or aggressive sexual predators who use women for their own pleasure.
5. What kind of coffee do you drink? Or tea? Maybe more so when you aren’t pregnant.
I do drink coffee. I didn’t drink it during the first 16-17 weeks because I couldn’t stomach anything, especially coffee. But I love coffee in the morning, so I eventually gave in around 20 weeks and started drinking it again. With the twins I didn’t, but since I actually have other kids now I feel like it’s a necessity to function in the morning 🙂 I love Caribou coffee, but we don’t have that here, so I drink the Kroger Columbia blend (to save money). I like it with some milk in it. Since I have gestational diabetes, for a treat, I’ll get a decaf skinny vanilla latte at Starbucks if I’m out for coffee. Normally I get the normal kind. 🙂
When our older son was born, he was rushed to the NICU at our hospital then eventually transferred to Duke NICU. I was in a lot of pain from a hard delivery, but my husband knew enough to be really concerned. For some unknown reason, our son was born without enough platelets in his body.
So that meant if he ever got cut or started bleeding he wouldn’t be able to stop. Duke NICU doctors were puzzled and didn’t know the cause of this. He was in NICU for 4 days before we could bring him home. When you leave the hospital after delivering a baby and you don’t have your baby, there is a sense of loneliness in that moment.
We prayed for days and every time we went to the hospital we were grateful for the doctors and most importantly grateful for our God who heals. After many blood transfusions, our son was on his way home in our car. And at his next check up (1 week, he was seemingly perfect in the platelet count area). We are thankful.
But, even after that scare when he was born, we aren’t out of the woods when it comes to more scrapes and bruises. Even yesterday I was paged at the gym to go check him out after he had hit his head on the wall. Nice bruise and tears and a mommy hug later – he was running around the gym like nothing had happened.
This new book about Boo Boos and our children teaches them many things about God’s character – that they need to know all the time, but especially when they are in pain and need a bandaid or a trip to the hospital.
1. It teaches them the nearness of God throughout all of life – even when life hurts.
2. It teaches them that God hears their prayers. God is always listening – even when we fall down and hurt.
3. It teaches them that God will indeed help them to persevere in the pain.
What is your biggest fear with your children? Or share a story about when they got hurt and how you handled it.
Thanks to Tommy Nelson Mommies for this book and for a book to giveaway. All opinions are my own.
I always feel better when I eat low-carb, but it is such a difficult lifestyle to maintain. When I eat too many carbs I always feel bloated and gain weight (mainly because I eat too much of the yummy bread of baked cheesy noodles – or cookies, cakes, brownies, etc).
These low-carb quiche are perfect for this lifestyle, but also are really quick to cook up one day and have for the rest of the week. My kids were downing the ham as I was assembling them so they would most likely be kid friendly too. And you can just pop them in the microwave as you head to school, work, or to the gym.
Low Carb Ham and Cheese Quiche
Recipe Type: Brunch
Cuisine: Eggs
Author: kd316
Prep time:
Cook time:
Total time:
Serves: 11 Quiches
Ham is your quiche crust and a veggie filled scrambled egg center. These are low carb and very tasty.
Ingredients
22 thin style deli ham (get a saltier ham, not a sweeter ham)
5 eggs
1/4 cup shredded sharp cheddar (jack cheese would be good too)
1 cup whole milk
1/2 cup finely diced veggies (I used carrots and orange bell pepper)
salt and pepper to taste
Instructions
Preheat oven to 350.
Spray muffin pans (I made 11 muffins)
Lay out your ham slices as a “cupcake liner” in your muffin tins. I put two per tin.
Mix up your egg filling mixture.
Pour in each muffin tin about 3/4 of the way full.
Bake for 20-25 minutes or until egg mixture is set.
I really love books about ministry and sports – two great loves of mine. So, when Scott Douglas, or should I say Dr. Douglas, a friend of mine from my days in Kentucky, delivered his book – I knew it would be a winner.
Sports analogies, for most guys especially, is an effective way to teach them about most things. So, Scott starts and continues his sports analogy well, but not overwhelming where those who are not sports fanatics will still enjoy and learn from the book. It is just a good theme for the book and the title makes sense.
And sports that have teams involved is a good analogy for ministry teams. Whether you serve in children’s ministry, youth ministry, family ministry, on a pastoral team, music ministry, VBS ministry – you understand, or hopefully should, your team is your most vital tool in succeeding in ministry. Douglas realizes this throughout his years of ministry experience: “The journey of developing ministry teams that function effectively is driven by a single idea: ministry teams are made of people who have been called by God, have high character, have great skill, and have chemistry with the rest of the team.” This is a really good summation of what Douglas hopes, and achieves, to cover in this book.
I have been on a ministry team, whether paid staff or volunteer for almost 20 years. Some experiences were not as good as others, but I could pull from those experiences and compartmentalize the points in this book in how to respond and handle team ministry in the future.
One lesson I learned early on is communication is key with your “lead pastor”. That was a hard lesson I learned early on in ministry. That chemistry has to be there with the right team members, but you will have conflict that arises and you need to be humble and willing to deal with that conflict biblically.
Another lesson I have learned in ministry is that chemistry is vital. Most recently I was part of a family ministry team that excelled in this. It wasn’t always so and the elders had to deal with that wisely, but the men and women I served with…I also were friends with and still am even though I’m no longer in that city or church. Each ministry team doesn’t need to be best friends, but if you can go on road trips together or fishing with some of them – you know its a keeper.
Douglas in his books doesn’t bore you with too many statistics like some ministry books do. He is very practical with his words and you can tell they come from years of both church ministry and seminary education. He is humble to admit his failings, and shares his triumphs in ministry as well. I found this book very relatable. Maybe this would be a good summer read for your ministry staff.
It is so neat to see what the Lord calls your friends to do. Currently, I have friends telling people about Jesus all over the world, including Nepal where the earthquake just happened, in Baltimore, where the riots are happening, and I have a sweet friend who is about to head to South Africa to love on babies who have no parents.
My friend Sarah, from Little Rock, tells a bit of her story:
“I am thrilled to be headed towards South Africa to serve the Lord with 1Hope Ministries International. After spending almost 10 years as a pediatric nurse in Arkansas, I’m excited for this new challenge of spending my days discipling young women to know and love Jesus Christ. I’ll primarily be working with interns in their late teens/early 20s who come from all over the world to volunteer at the Muphamuzi Baby Home, a home for abandoned babies awaiting “forever families.” I’m currently about $20,000 away from my fundraising goal and working to get my house on the market. As soon as funds are raised and my house it sold, it’s off to Africa for me! Can’t wait!
You can purchase a heart.hope.justice print (justice for loving and taking care of orphans) and with each print sold, Sarah gets 10$ toward her remaining funds left to raise. I’m not going to South Africa anytime soon, but want to help support those who are going.
I love each night when it comes to bedtime and I get to read to my boys. Ever since I had children I dreamed of reading to them – and one day hearing them read. It is a snuggly time (and a wiggle time some nights). I also love to see them flip pages in a board book – on trips, in their beds, or in the big comfy sofa chair we have in our living room. It is a sweet time.
Tommy Nelson just put out a book called Mommy Loves You So Much (don’t worry, Dads – your book is coming soon). It is a sweet and endearing board book full of animal mommies and their babies. Jo Parry did a great job illustrating the book. You can read through the book and use it as a tool to learn life basics, fruit of the Spirit, animal sounds, nature, etc.
This would be a perfect book for a friend who is about to become a Mommy (Mother’s Day, hint hint).
I really loved the book the first time I read it – my boys were looking on – until I got to the last page.
“How much does Mommy love you?
More than you can measure!
My heart grows bigger every day –
You’re my greatest treasure!”
That last line. So, I don’t want to chunk the whole book – so here are two ways I can handle that line (since I don’t agree with it)
1. If I am reading it to them I can change the line. My boys can’t read yet so they don’t know if I do change it.
2. If your children can read, you can help them understand why that line isn’t true.
Some reasons that last line bothers me:
1. The Gospel is our greatest treasure – JESUS.
2. If I have more than one child – do I only have one treasure – which one do I choose/
How do you interact with books for children that might not be exactly what you would say? How do you teach your children through the books you read?
One way to enter in for this book from Tommy Nelson is to answer the question what zoo animals do your children like best? This book has so many animals in it!
I will choose winner on Wednesday, 22nd.
Tommy Nelson provided this book to me as part of Tommy Nelson Mommies. All opinions are my own.
