by Kimberly | Jun 23, 2013 | Uncategorized
I love the Psalms. It is one of the books of the Bible that always brings me comfort when I read it. I’m thankful that God orchestrated and breathed every word of the book of Psalms. As my worship pastor husband said to me: these words of the psalmists weren’t only read in ancient churches but also sung, there were notes and melodies and harmonies. Singing is something that usually comes from deep within us and stirs up great emotion. There is great struggle and great rejoicing in the Psalms – anywhere from lament to generational jubilation. I love it all!
Psalm 16:11 (ESV):
“You make known to me the path of life, in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.”
I’ve been thinking on this particular Psalm much over the last 10 years, but as soon as a friend tweeted it the other day, something new stood out to me. I love the depth and the richness of the Word of the Lord. Find hope in this Psalm.
Ultimately, this Psalm is a Christological Psalm – meaning it refers to Christ. We find hope from knowing how Christ lived. He was a human much like us (though without sin) and found his ultimate pleasures on this earth in communion with His Father. That pleasure, that closeness, is being revealed in heaven now at the throne of God that Christ is standing at the right hand of the Father, interceding for His own, even when we don’t know how to pray. He prays for our pleasure to be found only in Christ. He prays for us to be satisfied with Him and Him alone.
How do we find that pleasure? The only way we find pleasure in God, forevermore (which includes today), is by His covenantal nature. He will not forsake His own. WE can have covenant with our pleasure-giving God because He has made a covenantal promise of faithfulness to those who are found in Him. He didn’t forsake Christ to the depths of Hell – and He won’t forsake us either.
We do ourselves harm when we find ultimate pleasure in anything else besides God. Sure, God gives us many gifts, callings, jobs, to enjoy for His glory and with His blessing – but not to find our ultimate, final pleasure. As the great author and masterful writer/theologian said it (paraphrase) – if we look at the mud and mudpies and are content with those, than we are wrong in doing so. Don’t fix our eyes on the mudpies.
One of the ways we continue to dwell in the pleasure before our final resting place in His true and glorious presence, is by staying close. I’ve heard it said stay “clean and close”. Here are some ways to stay close to our God:
1. Renounce sin. Not saying that you will never sin, because even though we have the righteousness of God imparted to us, we still live in the flesh and are at war with our Enemy who delights to see us sin.
2. Hope in God. When we do sin – find joy in the fact that Gospel prevails. Christ has conquered the grave. Our sin is not ours to bear anymore.
3. Read and love. When reading the Word – love the Word. It will be of great benefit to you – even in your discouraging times, even in the hard times (read Piper’s When I Don’t Desire God). There are times when I don’t, and from the words of my mentor as well as many of the psalms, read anyway, praying the Spirit would refresh your heart toward His righteousness.
Live and dwell in His presence, there finding all your pleasures.
by Kimberly | Jun 21, 2013 | parenting, Women
I really think this will be the last one of this series (some of you might be glad). I hope this series has been helpful.
Let me clarify a few things that were pointed out to me by talking with my husband and then turn our eyes to the point of this part 3.
We are all created differently and uniquely. We all have different gifts, talents, and callings. We all should use those to God’s glory. I know many women who have only longed to be a wife and a mother from the time they could hold a baby doll. Some of them are dear friends and struggle with a period of singleness because they just want to fulfill these desires. If that is you – praise God. I pray that He either has given you your heart’s desire or will fulfill it soon.
I know some other women who may have gotten married later (or right out of high school/college) who have other plans and desires other than to be a wife and a mother. But, along the way, that woman gets married and its the best thing that has happened to her. Then she must figure out a way to make that calling (a wife and maybe a mom one day) a priority in her life without hopefully dying to everything else. I fit into that category.
Since we all fit somewhere in either of those categories – I trust that we can all believe the best from each other and not try to force the other life on every woman. Encourage them women in your life to live every minute of their days to God’s glory – not their own. It will look different for each woman.
Here is the main point of this post: when I struggle – how do I find hope in the gospel? My husband and I have many conversations about how Christ is found at the center of the Word – so how is Christ found at the center of my life and my struggles. I am very thankful for the psalmists. These psalms were read aloud to the people of God as part of their worship services. They weren’t just read to one person. I’m so glad the God-breathed book tells us of the struggles that even “a man after God’s own heart” faced at times. What did he do? He wrote those down as God commanded him to. He let his struggles be known. He wasn’t looking for validation for those strggules or wanting to be told that he was ok in those struggles. He may have just wanted a listening ear or someone to say “I’ve been there too”. But, then at the end of it, maybe even days later when the psalmist was able to hear it and receive it – say God is here. He is bigger. The psalmists weren’t perfect – just like we aren’t perfect. I believe that we can share life with others and share our struggles and hopefully in doing so come back to the gospel.
It is hard to hear from “perfect” people. You don’t think you have anything in common. But, those people that say, “I have a hard time submitting, or I want something more out of this life, or raising my kids is tough at times” – then turn it back to say God is good in it and He will be there every minute to sustain you – those are the people I want to hear from. God doesn’t require perfection from us – because He knew we could never fulfill it. That is why He sent Jesus.
Jesus even struggled with the cross. He said take this cup from me – but not my will but yours. Obedience came even from great struggle and distress. He was a perfect High Priest who is able to understand our struggles and empathize with us. He endured.
So can we. Endure well – even in the struggles. Don’t be afraid to share those struggles – and to point people to the hope of the Gospel.
by Kimberly | Jun 20, 2013 | Books, Women & Books Together
Jesus. What’s in a name?
This is the most important name to us Christians – the one that our entire Hope lies in. Begg and Ferguson, some of my favorite preachers, have teamed up to write a fabulous and readable book that studies some of the positions/names of Jesus.
I chose this book from Crossway this month because of the authors, but I was afraid it was going to be over my head or not really readable and applicable. I was wrong on both acccounts. They have made this book not only applicable but funny in places.
One of the underlying messages throughout this book is that Jesus is the center message of the entire Bible – and Jesus needs to be the center of your life.
So what about this special book study coming? In the past I’ve had a full-time job writing curriculum for a church. This is the book we are starting with! This will be a 7 week series, so it should finish by the time some schools/home schools start back. It will begin JULY 15 so it gives you plenty of time to get the book. We’ll read a chapter per week and then have study questions here, some thoughts from my reading, and opportunities for you to comment on the blog and join in on the study. This is sort of like Tim Challies’ Reading the Classics together. I hope to have a blog button up soon so you can have it on your blog or facebook. I’m really looking forward to studying this book together with yall and see how we grow in our knowledge of the Savior. Oh, and this will be geared toward women only).
So, go buy the book and get ready to learn more about our Great Savior!
by Kimberly | Jun 19, 2013 | Women
Take a look around your church next time you are there? What do you see? Hopefully, if you are in a typical (and healthy church IMHO) you will see women of all ages: you’ll see women with blond hair that includes a pink streak. You’ll see women who are tired and weary from life walking with a cane but with a big smile on their faces from years of traveling with joy with The Lord. You’ll see women who are tired from being up all night wondering if their teenage son or daughter is going to make it in by curfew. You’ll see some with spit up on their shirts because of the babies they are caring for. Women in our churches come from every walk of life and are from every generation.
I’m writing this post from the voice of a women’s ministries director or someone thinking in terms of conferences for a whole church of women. If I were writing this from a personal note as an individual then I would say bring it (and I so want to go) – because it would be a blast of a girl’s weekend with some of my best buddies. But, as far as the church ministry goes – older women in the church are vital for ministry and mentoring!
There have been many women’s conferences I’ve attended over the years, some I’ve spoken at. One of the needed concepts in planning these conferences is planning for something that appeal to all women. One aspect that I appreciate about the TGC Women’s Conference that happened in 2012 (and will happen again in 2014) is the wide range of ages who attended. I loved snapping photos of moms rocking their babies to sleep and gray-haired ladies taking notes in a worn Bible.
What about this trend of appealing to only a set age-range? Is there value in that? YES! But, is it IDEAL – No.
Value: Some of these women are going to be going through the same things as you are. Most of them will be instagramming and tweeting and have a ton of hair products and wear the latest style – and really cool bags and shoes – and plenty of iPhones and iPads. Most will have to find babysitters for older children. Some will probably locate the coolest coffee shop near the conference. Most will have families, young families at that, even the speakers – I would love to know how the speakers handle young children and a thriving ministry (because that is honestly where I would love to be). Also, the topics of interest most women will want to know/learn about will be similar. You can have a variety of breakout sessions and it might even be hard to choose which one to go! Happy problems!
NOT Ideal: If you are planning on bringing a group of women from your church – you can only bring one set. This may be a good getaway for a small group of friends from you church, talk about ministry and how it can work better or get a fresh new perspective, but you couldn’t bring your whole team (in most churches). The women’s ministry team at my church couldn’t all go because some of them are older. And I love the conversations that might happen with older women seeing their wisdom in life that has come from years of doing ministry and family.
Titus 2 does talk a lot about teaching the younger women about how love their husbands and be keepers of the home and knowing how to LOVE the Word (not mis-aligning the Word of God). And as I get older I realize I tend to look for people my same age (give or take ten years) but for those who are at different spaces in life (older kids, more years married, single, etc). I think I would actually LOVE to go to a generational conference because I love coffee, ipads, cute clothes (much easier when I’m not pregnant), and relevant messages. And if I were thinking of it as a getaway with friends from around the country that would be perfect – late night chats, makeup everywhere, interesting conversations over great food/desserts, and phone calls to check up on our kids. But, if I were to plan a conference for the women of my church to attend, I think I would opt for a multi-generational one.
I would not make this a determining factor for attending a conference – just one factor to include when planning!
by Kimberly | Jun 16, 2013 | Uncategorized
This weekend coming up holds a special holiday. It is definitely not as highly promoted as Mother’s Day – but that is a fault of the American public. I hope by now you have bought cards, planned meals, and bought gifts as a way to show appreciation to the Father in your life.
As I was at Target the past few weeks, I’ve been highly disappointed in the types of Father’s Day cards out there to choose from. The above display will show you a great majority of them and what their common theme is.
The aobve card should not be the sentiment of Father’s Day. Fathers get a bad rap out there due to some of the population living up the cards and also the television shows that depict fathers as dead-beats, uninvolved, lazy bums. This is not who God designed Fathers to be.
There are three overarching commands that Fathers (and husbands) need to be that God set up as a design:
1. Protector. I feel this greatly in my relationship with my husband and the father to our children. I remember the way he drove us to the hospital before Elijah came along and the first ride on the way home from the hospital with eli. He also is our protector here at home, protecting us not just from harm from the outside, but also harm from within (by what we watch, do, and listen to.
2. Leader. Men are commanded to lead in a Christ-honoring way. This is a self-less leadership but one that knows that it his job to lead our family. My husband/father to our children does this by choosing what we read, sometimes how we spend our time, and how he leads our family in financial matters.
3. Provider. My husband/father of our children is a great provider for our family. He is a hard worker and has a strong work ethic. I had that in my Father as well. E not only provides for our family financially, but provides a strong Christian-spirit for our home.
Bodily noises and beer should not be the focus of our celebration of our fathers. But, unfortunately for so many of us, that is where we are because that is the type of father we know or have. If this is the case for you, I pray you would ask your perfect Heavenly Father to redeem the time that you have with your earthly father and ask Him to work a good work in your Father’s life and heart.
by Kimberly | Jun 13, 2013 | mothering
So, last week I wrote a post that got the most hits ever on this blog about struggling with being a mom.
I wanted to do a follow-up to it, so I wouldn’t leave you hanging. The last of that blog says to fight for joy. How do you fight for joy when you are not liking where God has you in life?
Here are some of things I do – I hope you find them encouraging. And please, let me know how you fight for joy!
1. Pray. And I’m not going to be super spiritual and say that I do that first – but sometimes I do – even if it is a plea to be patient! Or to be gentle! God is faithful to hear our prayers! Pray!
2. Talk to your husband. Especially if you are a mom, you need to have an open communication with your spouse. Was is an easy conversation with my Sweet Mister when I read him that blog I wrote – no. It wasn’t easy for him to hear. But, it was so good for him to know. He is a great listener. We talked through some things – and believer, this pregnant mamma was crying – but it was good.
3. Have friends you can be real with and won’t just give you Bible verses and tell you to get over it. Friends and Christian community is vital to being a mom. Friends who will listen to you and share their struggles as well and pray with you and tell you that you aren’t losing your mind is something you need. Be transparent. And I hope you have a church body or friends that won’t judge you for being transparent. Some friends in churches around the country have said they don’t have that. A former pastor has a chart that talks about counseling church members. He says when they are going through a hard time – the church’s response is to comfort and console – not admonish. Now, there is a time for admonishment – but most of the time people get that timing wrong.
4. Get in the Word. If you are struggling – a great place to go is Psalms. The Psalms is a real, gentle, transparent book. And the Word will admonish – but the Word will also encourage and teach.
5. Choose Joy. I love the Nancy Leigh DeMoss titles Choosing Gratitude. It is an amazing find – especially if you are going through a difficult time. The afternoon I wrote the previous blog post was a good time for me to mentally count my blessings: Elijah, Eric, being a SAHM, having a cute little boy with watery-blue eyes and his daddy’s fine hair. Whatever you are struggling with – count your blessings in that area. It will change your mind about the situation!
6. Take some time off! I’m blessed to be around folks and my husband who will take Eli and give me a morning off. I love it. But, also, having that morning off makes me realize that I love my son and I love being around him. Call a friend, your mother, a pastor’s wife, somebody! A mental break is great for any mom!
7. Do something that takes your mind off of your struggles. For me, it is writing. If I want something mindless to do – then I want to play a game on the iPad. But, I usually like to sit and journal, write a blog, or write something!
8. Sometimes, even after all that, you may still struggle with the calling that has been placed on your life for being a mom. But, by the fact that you have children – you are a Mom. That is your calling! But, hope in your gospel that you’ve been given through the Cross of Christ.
What do you do that helps you when you are struggling!
by Kimberly | Jun 12, 2013 | food
I love trying new recipes, especially with in-season ingredients, and having them be winners. I started with a recipe off of BrownEyedBaker – you guys need to go check her out if you already don’t get her blogs!
I made a few changes, and hubs said he wouldn’t change a thing!
1/2 vidalia onion, chopped
1 EACH red and green pepper, chopped
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 chipotle in adobe sauce, chopped (just one pepper)
EVOO
1 tsp cumin
1/2 tsp EACH oregano and french thyme
2 cups chicken broth
2 cups milk
1 cup half and half
6 red potatoes, diced finely
3 cups shredded cheddar cheese
2 cups diced chooked chicken
3 ears of corn (just kernels)
1 can cream corn
1/2 tsp adobe sauce (from chili)
Saute first ingredients and spices in evoo. Then add up through cheese and let simmer until potatoes are done (about 15 minutes). Then add the rest. Serve until warmed through.
Serve with tortilla chips and a squeeze of lime!
by Kimberly | Jun 11, 2013 | marriage
“Attention is the rarest and purest form of generosity.” – Simone Weil
A friend tweeted this quote last week and I thought immediately of how it should (but often doesn’t) apply to my marriage. In a day filled with multi-tasking and technology and social media – this form of generosity tends to go right out the window.
Here are prime examples from our marriage:
1. Some date nights – I want to bring my phone along to take a picture of the food, make sure the sitter doesn’t have any questions, post what I’m doing, etc. Those might be noble reasons – but what often ends up occurring is I’ll check facebook, answer texts from all sorts of people, and not pay attention to my husband.
2. When my husband is home, often I am on the computer – meaning the iPad. Whether I am playing silly pointless games or writing blogs, I don’t spend enough time just with him.
Do either of these examples sound familiar to you? How can we change it and pay more attention to our marriages?
Solution #1: Leave cell phone in the car or at home. I now always make sure that the sitter has my husband’s cell as well. He doesn’t have a data plan on his phone so he only gets calls and texts. Much better in terms of “emergencies” without distractions. If we are going to a really cool place, then have your husband keep you accountable to taking picture – but posting them later, if that is something you really enjoy doing (like me).
Solution #2: Put down the iPad. Please step away from technology. I have plenty of nap times (for my infant) during the day to get all the blog-writing done that I need to. This week I have a self-imposed book deadline so it is a rarity – and my husband likes what I’m doing.
Solution #3: Set goals for your marriage. We recently talked about this and want to start doing it. So, once a year, probably ear the time we first met (beginning of February) we will seek to go away and have a marriage retreat to talk about the common goals that we have in our marriage for the coming year. The reason we chose this time instead of nearer to our anniversary is our family/life calendars. The fall is a busy time for us: anniversary, 2 birthdays, and my husband is super busy at work preparing for Christmas services. It would be too stressful on us to try to force a time in the fall – so we chose another time. It doesn’t matter what time – but just make sure it is away, without the kids, and overnight, oh – and done. This is going to valuable for us!
Solution #4: Read together. Currently we are reading When Sinners Say I Do with another couple in our church (who have been married much longer than us) and we are reading The Meaning of Marriage before bed on most nights. If we are taking a toad trip – we bring a book along to read in the car (usually me since E does most of the driving).
Solution #5: Go on dates. We started (before kids) with a weekly date night, now we get one about every 3 weeks. That is still better than most. And that is a time we go out and grab dinner or do something fun while someone watches our little one. We are blessed with amazing babysitters who never tire of our sweet boy. Make it a habit to date your spouse!
Solution #6: Don’t overcrowd your schedule. There will be seasons of busyness in your family’s schedule. But, don’t make it a habit. I know around Christmas time, even if we don’t travel, will be extremely busy because my husband is on staff at a church. But, for most weeks, we try to have most evenings at home. We have learned in a short amount of time being married that we need this more than almost anything else. If we go days without being at home with each other in the evenings, we get into arguments or just don’t know what is going on in each other’s lives.
If you want your marriage to not only survive, but also thrive in this culture of skyrocketing divorce rates and meaningless marriages – seek to apply one or more of these solutions.
by Kimberly | Jun 10, 2013 | Uncategorized
Friends of mine have a rule to not speak to each other before a certain time in the morning – mainly because I think they aren’t morning people (at least they have learned these things in their marriage). That is somewhat anecdotal – but how many times do our tongues get us into trouble.
My trouble? Always (or a lot of the time) speaking what I think. Sharing my opinion. As of this morning, I think that opinions are overrated. (Didn’t I just share an opinion – I’ve got a long road to recovery!)
Here is why and some guidelines as to whether you should share your opinion or not:
1. Eph 4.29: “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” I won’t even give examples, but use your brain and heart to answer these questions about your opinions that you so are ready to share: 1. Is it corrupting? 2. Will it build up every hearer? 3. Does it fit the occasion? 4. Will it give grace?
2. Deut 30: 14, 19-20a: “But the word is very near you. It is in your mouth and in your heart, so that you can do it. I call heaven and earth to witness against you today, that I have set before you life and, blessing and curse. Therefore, choose life, that you and your offspring may live, loving the Lord your God, obeying his voice and holding fast to him.” Again – no examples, just questions: 1. Is what you are about to say a biblically based opinion (of course I’m not talking about mundane things like choosing a restaurant). 2. Will it bring blessing or cursing? 3. Are you being obedient to the Lord in sharing or even having that said opinion?
3. Proverbs 21:2, 23: “Every way of a man is right in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs the heart. Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble.” 1. Would the Lord agree with your opinion you are about to share (meaning what is in your heart and why are you sharing it)? 2. What is your heart motivation in sharing your opinion or being heard (often for me it is because of pride and I think I’m right)? 3 Do you daily practice “keeping your tongue”?
After some previous conversations and looking more in depth at these verses and asking these questions – I may do a lot less talking and a lot more listening.
by Kimberly | Jun 7, 2013 | Books, marriage
Disclaimer: This is a book about sex. There, I said it. My husband even asked me one time as I was talking with him about some of the topics in this book: “What are you reading?” I told him it was a book for wives in sexual relationship with their husbands and only their husbands in a Christian marriage.
Taviano is a wife, mother of three girls, and a writer and blogger. Is That All He Thinks About is a quick but thought provoking read for wives in a married relationship. She discusses many topics and answers that she discovered not only within her life and marriage relationship but also in a survey that she asked to friends. With her findings, she seeks to help women live and live well their husbands in relationship to all things that go on in and outside of the bedroom.
I’m glad that she covers a wide variety of topics, even “taboo” talks that Christian women might not ever dare ask to friends because they don’t want to deal with misplaced shame – and she handles them in a biblical way, citing Scriptures when necessary. If there isn’t a Scripture that deals specifically with a certain topic – than she uses biblical wisdom and other Scriptures and even just common sense or healthy living to come up with her opinions.
There is one problem I have with her book (and many other books on this topic written for women). Many authors make an assumption that all men (or 99%) of them have sex on the brain all the time. In my conversations with women, I don’t find that to be the case. Some I spoke with before getting married myself dispelled that theory quickly. There is one chapter in her entire book that deals with women who want more sex than their husbands and why that is the case, and what you could do. I didn’t find it adequate.
Help women see that they most likely aren’t freaks of nature just because they desire more sexual relationships (not just romantic thoughts) than their husbands and help them deal with the guilt that may accompany that feeling.
Two practical ideas that come from reading this book when issuing it as a recommended read for other women:
1. Read with caution. Don’t take for face value everything she says (or any other author). Think carefully and pray thoroughly through these sensitive topics. Sexuality can make or break a marriage relationship.
2. Talk to your husband. It may be awkward at first, but you can’t just do things that a book says not knowing whether or not your husband is even similar to the men talked about in this (and other) books. Your husband is YOUR husband. The sexual relationship is between you and him. Be honest, share, and grow together – even if you’ve been married 3 months or 25 years.
Thanks Marla for the book!
