by Kimberly | May 29, 2013 | marriage, mothering
We have a Tudor style home – one with large peaks on its corner As we were trying to see about getting the siding replaced this past weekend, I realized how I would never want my husband up on that roof. How dangerous would that be.
That brings new light to this Proverb: “Better to live on the corner of a roof, then to share a house with a nagging wife.”
How would you say you are in the nagging area? Nagging can be so much more than just pestering your husband to take out the trash or pick up his socks.
I’ve learned something about this this past weekend as well. My husband can sense when I am upset ( I don’t have a very good poker face), and more times than not he knows why I am down or struggling. We’ve only been married for less than two years, but he knows me well (and sometimes, that’s very scary).
But, I could have either chosen to say something about what it was that was bothering me, and therefore make him feel even worse about said subject, which we’ve had many conversations about – or I could choose to praise him and give thanks to him and shower him with blessings for everything he does for me and how godly of a husband and worship pastor and father he is.
Which do you think is better?
Nagging or praising?
I remember watching the movie classic, If a Man Answers, one in which the MIL wants her daughter to begin treating her husband like a dog to see if his behavior changes any. Most dog owners will tell you that dogs can be trained with rewards, love, scratching behind the ears, etc.
I’m not saying that is the way to go – more than likely – when you start praising your husband, you will find the things you are unhappy about will change or disappear altogether.
The Bible also tells us to speak words or encouragement to those around us, respect our husbands (nagging doesn’t fall in the respect category), and speak well of them to others. If we are constantly nagging or thinking poorly of our husbands, won’t that come out in our speech to others? However, if we are constantly loving our husbands well with our speech, then others will follow suit.
Don’t we want to encourage others to walk in love and good deeds?
And how important are the socks on the floor anyway?
by Kimberly | May 28, 2013 | mothering, parenting, writing
I’m in the middle of a prayer-writing project in Ephesians. Will hopfeully get it off to my editor by the time I find out if the next baby we have will be a boy or a girl. Exciting times.
But, also, this has proved to be a very sobering time for me. Much of Ephesians is about the dichotomy between life and death, between darkness and light, the difference between believers and unbelievers, adopted son and daughters or forever separated.
As I’ve been praying these for E – I know he is a believer so they are easier to pray with assurance that these verses of new life apply to him. As I pray for little e, I do not have that same assurance.
Mister and I can pray for our little e. We can train him up. We can desire that he be saved. But, that is all we can do. The saving comes to God. I don’t know for sure that God called and adopted our little boy before the foundations of the world. All I can do is wait and see – and live with the knowledge that all God does is good and for His own glory and live my life in such a way that it would point our son to Christ.
The proverbs are sayings of wisdom not necessarily to be taken as divine promises. And how many people do you know have sons and daughters they have raised in The Lord but they reject Christ. And how many spouses pray for their entire lives for their husbands or wives to come to know Christ, but they never do.
God is our eternal Father and sent Jesus to save some. There will be some in hell. I can pray with all my might that our little boy will be one of the elect, chosen in Christ – but God is the knower of all things.
I will pray and live to that end.
by Kimberly | May 27, 2013 | ethics, history, Quotes, Uncategorized
“They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.” – Ben Franklin
I love living in America. Despite the problems with government that I may or may not agree with, this is still the best country to live in. There are many who have paid the price for it to be this way and I am grateful.
My two thoughts on this Memorial Day 2013:
1. Now that I’m a mom, I think one of the scariest things for me would be if little e came up to us one day and sad he wanted to be in the service. Scary because I never would know if he was going to be called into war or die somehow where I would only receive a flag and a salute in honor of him. Where I wouldn’t know if he was ever going to be at the next Christmas dinner or family gathering. Then the best because it would be such an honorable thing for him to do – to fight in serving this country, sustaining the freedom that we enjoy for generations to come – his children, their children.
2. Since we live in a democracy and not a theocracy – that freedom, as an American, has to apply to all peoples. Of all religions. Of all nationalities. If people from any country are here legally – then they should be offered the same rights and status and freedoms as we enjoy as natural born citizens. And if anyone else wants to practice their religion, worshipping their gods, then that must be allowed too. So, if we are in favor of bringing prayers back in our classrooms, than others will need to have the liberty to pray to their gods – or not pray at all. Freedom in America is not only for Christians, but also for everyone.
Are we willing to live out our faith in the One True God and let others practice their beliefs – all the while praying for them and telling them the truth that will save?
by Kimberly | May 15, 2013 | Uncategorized
Do we pray often (or ever) we this phrase in mind? Is our faith and our prayer life lacking?
I wanna make this post biblically accurate and not venture into the land of name it and claim it – poor theology that leads us to believe that God is a bank lender or santa clause or the easter bunny or even the tooth fairy. God is the Sovereign Giver of all things to us for our good and His glory. We need to take from his hand both blessing and trial (look at Job and Joseph). But, how can we incorporate this type of praying into our prayer life?
Far More Abundantly…this phrase comes from Ephesians 3:20-21 – let me start a few verses earlier and walk us through it – since proof texting is not a fundamental way to understand Scripture.
Eph 3:14-21
The main point of this passage is that Paul is asking on behalf of the saints of the church at Ephesus that they would be filled with the power, love, and fullness of God through faith in the One (Christ) who worked for them and the power of the one who lives in them (the Spirit). He wants us to dwell every day in ALL the fullness of God. Do you or I live that way every day? I’ll speak for myself – I don’t. Sin. Yup – that’s the answer to all that ails us. Sin: pride, weak faith, laziness, unrepentant heart, those are some sins that keep me from knowing the fullness of God dwelling in me.
Then Paul goes on to confirm with the church at Ephesus that God is so big He can do (according to His plans – See other parts of Scripture) far more abundantly than anything we ask for – FOR HIS GLORY. We may think we are asking big prayers – but are we really?
1. Do we ask God for a ministry but really doubt in the back of our minds that He can grant us that?
2. Do we ask God to save loved ones and bring them to Himself – but then give up when we don’t see that happen in the first week of our praying.
3. Do we ask God for healing for ourselves or others and then faint at the weariness of the burden of praying endless prayers when the illness continues, the baby dies, the womb stays empty.
4. Do we fail at continued prayer when there are financial troubles and we see no way out but blame shifting and going deeper in debt.
5. Do we pray for husbands or wives that we don’t have yet and grumble to the God when our ring finger remains empty for one more holiday, New Years, or someone else’s wedding shower.
Last year during the month of May, I started praying this passage of Scripture for my husband in a situation we were facing. During that same month He began answering that prayer. And even when times are hard because of that answer to prayer – I must remember that our God can do FAR MORE ABUNDANTLY than we can ever ask or imagine – ALL FOR HIS GLORY.
And when we pray like this we must be ready TO ACCEPT HIS ANSWER – not our answer. His answer may look completely different than ours – but are we willing to lay aside what we thought would be the way God would work and live fully in His answer.
Another study I’m working through is going through Psalm 119 verse by verse, many of them have to do with the Word of God and its truth in our lives. But, what is the basic idea of the Psalms in general – the writer’s crying out to God. Do you cry out to God with a hope and a knowledge that He will answer. Do you wait in unhindered anticipation that He will answer – and He will answer in such a way that will be FAR MORE ABUNDANTLY than we could ever ask or imagine?
All (his answer is always for this reason) for His glory for now and forever.
Pray on. Live in Faith. Dwell in Fullness.
by Kimberly | May 14, 2013 | Books
I’ve learned over the years that there are many people out there who think they have a handle on Family Ministry, but really just know what not to do or think they have ideas. I don’t know much about this relatively new (to the modern church world) arena, but I have found one author I like and respect in this area: Rob Rienow. He is the founder for Visionary Family and Visionary Marriage. I’ve read several of his other books or writings. This one is no different: true to what it says.
Let me explain. In the first few chapters, Rob compels his readers to make sure they know what to do with Scripture. To let Scripture speak for itself, know it, apply it, and know that the Word of God is true and sufficient – even for determining how to run ministries in your church. And Rob doesn’t stop with just the first few chapters. He then proceeds to complete the rest of the book using this method. He lets Scripture be the driving force behind the remainder of his new book, Limited Church Unlimited Kingdom.
He goes through the Old Testament through the New Testament, Early Church, Reformation to present day in how the family has acted (and in specifics what the Word commands for families). Rienow gives some great advice on the children in worship services discussion, shouldn’t parents have the main discipleship in their children’s lives, and what role does youth ministry have. These are all important topics in this family ministry discussion these days.
What I appreciated most about Rienow’s book is that he stated at the beginning of the book that the Word demands that it have full authority (it is sufficient and perfect) and should also tell us how to do our local church ministries. Then, he actually does it. He doesn’t then go on to make up his own thoughts – he sticks with what Scripture says and bases his book on that.
Good man. Good book.
by Kimberly | May 13, 2013 | marriage
What is the biggest influence on your marriage?
For those Christians who are reading this – I’m going to go ahead and assume answer #1 will be individual time in the Word and prayer and the fighting of sin. That’s a given.
Ok – so what is the second biggest influence in your marriage.
As my husband and I have learned in less than two years of marriage (with a 8mo old son and one on the way) – our answer would be SLEEP. Just this week: first two days of the week, little mister was awake several times during the night because of congestion and Mister always gets up with him at night (which is a huge blessing to me). But, that doesn’t give him much sleep to function with. These last two nights, little dude has slept for 12 hours – only waking up once either night. What a blessing. For me, its been warmer in the house this week and we’ve not wanted to turn our air down (saving money), and can’t open our windows because of the pollen, and due to pregnancy I’m both hot and congested. Fun times – but doesn’t allow for much sleep.
When we woke up this morning after about 8 hours of sleep for both of us (we finally turned the air down and Mister had on three layers of clothes to combat the chill), we woke up rested, laughing and tickling the little mister who was overjoyed to start the day. Mister commented how much sleep does us good!
Sleep deprivation (whatever is less than the magic number of hours of sleep you need to feel rested) can harm marriages on a daily basis more than a lot of other factors. Sleep deprivation puts us on edge and we are less likely to think before we speak, be willing to serve, and we are usually more prone to sin when we are sleep deprived.
So, do your marriage a favor: SLEEP!
If it isn’t sleep for you, what is the biggest hindrance in your marriage on a daily basis?
by Kimberly | May 7, 2013 | ethics, marriage, sin
Every blog post I wrote has come from personal experience or a conversation I’ve had, etc. This one is no different.
Yesterday on facebook, I was saddened to find out that a college acquaintance of mine, one who was in youth ministry with me and a professing Christian – now ordained in a denomination, was getting married yesterday to her girlfriend. This saddened me so much for her. On our long scenic drive home, the Mister and I were discussing what should be our response. Here are some thoughts:
1. A government-sanctioned marriage between two women is not a marriage in the eyes of God. In our country many states may be allowing same-sex marriage. This does not make it right in God’s eyes. God would never rejoice in something that is an abomination or sin to Him. See Romans 1:18-25, 1 Corinthians 6:9-10.
2. Sin does not please God – so how could a homosexual marriage?
3. We all sin (yes), so we should not counsel the person (if you have a relationship with them in the first place) in a harsh, judgmental tone. Ephesians 5:14-16. The reason I chose this verse is because the person in my life that got married yesterday is a professing Christian. I’m not a judger of hearts. I am also a sinner – a great sinner. But, this passage is written by Paul to the church at Ephesus. He is talking about people in the church who have been diluted and mislead by all sorts of unbiblical teaching. For any to think that gay marriage is promoted by God, or right, has clearly been mislead by the Enemy.
4. Show compassion; this needs to be our immediate response. We need to be like Jesus in this encounter. When he dealt with the woman caught in adultery, he did not shame or accuse her, but allowed her to be free of the sin and the entanglement of it. Our God does show wrath and anger toward sin, but he also shows compassion on the sinner. (John 8) God the Father shows much compassion on me and I’m a sinner. I would need to show compassion to my friend and hopefully lead her back to a right relationship with God.
5. Call to repentance. One of my favorite Scriptures in the NT says this “…God’s kindness is meant to lead you to repentance.” Oh that has blessed me and lead me to have a repentant heart so often as I’ve read with tears over my sin this incredible display of God’s love toward great sinners.
6. What about church membership. Let me say a few things: first, any denomination that would ordain a homosexual to be a minister of the Word of God and sanction and condone homosexual marriage is no longer a church because they do not hold to the truth of the Word of God. Second, if this couple were at the church I attend, I would (hopefully) seek to encounter them, provide them with godly counsel about their lives and why their lives demonstrate that they do not believe God or His Word. If they couple were members and then became homosexual or started living a homosexual lifestyle – that would be cause for church discipline and counsel and a desire for them to turn from sin.
7. As I’ve been reading in a book about the authority of the Word of God in our lives: this matter of homosexuality (whether it is right or not) is not primarily a question of preference or sexual orientation or anything else for believers. It is a question about what we believe the Bible to be. If we believe with the Bible that it is the very word of God and it is profitable and truthful in everything it says and is useful for our lives to instruct us in all truth – and we disagree with what the Bible says about the “rightness” of homosexuality – then obviously we have a disagreement with God. I have a feeling that I know who is going to ultimately win that disagreement.
As we get deeper and deeper into a country that is living in prevalent sin and as we see sin creep in (or barge in) to our churches – let us pray that we will know what the Word of God says, guard our own hearts and minds, show compassion to sinners, and call them to repentance (just as the Lord has done for us).
by Kimberly | May 6, 2013 | life together, Women, Worship
There are probably people we know, men and women, who are amazing at showing hospitality. There was a lady in our church growing up who was fabulous at this. She welcomed everyone in the church and was a fabulous cook as well. My mentor is incredible in this skill as well: cooking, opening her door, opening a bed or place to sleep for guests, praying over her guests, etc. I learned much of my “activity” of hospitality from them. Thankful.
Our church’s women’s ministry just had a night of learning about hospitality. I was not able to go but you can find some of the handouts from the sessions on our women’s blog. I’ve written much about hospitality, but what does it mean in a more spiritual sense? Meaning, the hospitality that God shows for us?
An illustration you might understand before I get to Tripp’s quote: Some people you welcome into your home with welcome arms. You can’t wait to go out of your way for them, sit and talk for hours, invite them into your heart and home. Others, you tolerate. You really could have them leave at any time, don’t care if they stay or go. Really, if you are honest, you wish you could probably just show them the door quickly after dinner was open. (If you are reading this with dropped jaw in disbelief that anyone could ever have such a thought toward another person – look at your own life. This is where sanctification comes in. I’m not perfect. Spirit is still working).
Well, as Tripp says in his book, Dangerous Calling, Christ doesn’t just tolerate us:
“One of the sweetest blessings of the cross of Jesus Christ is that the curtain of separation has been torn in two. No longer are the holy places open only to the high priest once a year. No, now each of God’s children has been welcomed to come with confidence into God’s presence, and not just once a year.”
“We, with all of our sin, weakness, and failures are welcome to do what should blow our minds. We are not only tolerated by God at a distance; no, we are welcomed into intimate personal communion with the King of kings, the Lord of lords, the creator, the sovereign, the Savior. We, as unholy as we are, are told to go with confidence into his holy presence.”
– Paul David Tripp, Dangerous Calling, p. 197.
Live welcomed.
by Kimberly | May 5, 2013 | mothering, Uncategorized, Women
This is one section of Kristyn’s prayers as she journeyed in her role as a mother:
“In the spring of 2008 I first prayed for a baby, and in the spring of 2011 God answered
that prayer with the birth of our beautiful daughter. My joy was full but so were the fears
I wrestled. In some ways I felt like a baby Christian again, caught in a whirlwind of
emotions, learning and applying what I have known and trusted into a completely new
life – I know I’m definitely not the first to feel that!”
Many songs came along before I became a mother, but this Mother’s Day is different for me as I’ve had almost 8 months to hold my little boy in my arms and give him multiple kisses each day (as well as change multiple diapers, get spit up on, listening to him laugh and cry and scream). As I’ve listened to the song of prayer by Kristyn Getty on their new album, I’ve heard another Mum’s love for her little one.
The prayer life of a mother never ceases. Sometimes my prayers are: Lord, is he still breathing – when he has slept for 12 hours and isn’t awake and crying for food. It is sometimes, Lord, give me patience today with him to have him for 14 hours without his daddy (at work and after work long meetings).
Kristyn takes her prayers in this song a little more on the long-term route, but one prayer that is very near and dear to my heart: we both want to see our children follow Christ and live wholeheartedly for Him. Whether its Kristyn’s little jewel, or my squirmy little bright blue-eyed boy, or the little #2 that is growing in my belly – our prayers are the same. Lord, may they love and follow you.
Since the Getty’s song has recently come out – they are offering some more personal insights into the song and also freebies for you (and other mothers in your life) this Mother’s Day:
If you want to send your mother or another mother a Mom’s Day card – here you go for a special one you can send
by Kimberly | Apr 23, 2013 | life together, parenting, restaurants, Uncategorized
Meal time has often been considered one of the most needful times when connecting with your family. Whether you eat at home at the table, in the living room, in the car, or at a restaurant, meal time is important. You can make it either meaningful or literally a waste of time (except for filling bellies). What are some issues concerning meal times and what can we as parents do?
1. Media. Mostly I mean television – and I’ll start with home. Rarely do my husband and I eat in front of the television. I can probably count on one hand the times we’ve done that in 19 months of marriage. But, growing up we did that more times than we didn’t. It was acceptable and counted on to eat while watching a Mets game, the news, or sitcoms. Television watching at home provides a means to have no conversation and to also not think about what you are eating.
2. Social Media or Telephones. I rarely remember a meal when the phone didn’t ring in our house growing up and someone didn’t get up to answer it. It speaks of what is more important: the person on the phone or those you are eating with. There may be times when emergencies happen and you must do that – but I would say those are rare. Parents: leave your phones in another room or turn them off. Eat with your family: be all there. If your children do have phones or other handheld media devices, have them turn them off or don’t allow them to interact with them during a meal time.
3. Restaurants. Last night my husband and I went to Carino’s for dinner. We sat in the bar area and I sat facing the news channel. They were focusing on a sex crime/murder trial. I didn’t know anything about it but caught myself glancing up every now and then. By the end of the meal I had mentioned it to Eric just as a way of soundbite. It didn’t do anything to fuel our conversation, but sometimes it does. If you are out with small children: go to a place without a tv or sit in a place where they can’t see it. You usually have no control what is going to be shown and therefore can’t be on guard against what your children (or you) might see. I often am saddened by couples or families that sit in almost silence at restaurants. They rarely talk with each other and are instead engrossed in their phones or just staring at their meals.
4. Use meal times strategically. You can teach young children responsibility and what is important. You can make meal times a priority for your family and a chance to have great conversation about their day and your day and what you read in the Word that day or use some books to fuel conversation. Nancy Guthrie has a book on dinner table devotions that would be an excellent choice. Eric and I use a grouping of memory verses to read and pray through before the meal.
Whatever you do, don’t let meal times be stolen away by society. Use them for your family’s strength and God’s glory.
