by Kimberly | May 23, 2012 | Books
The lives of people teach us how to live today. This is one of the reasons I think everyone should read history and biographies.
As I was searching through our church’s library one day I came across this book, written by D. A. Carson, about his father. I love Carson’s writings as does my husband so I knew that reading it would be a blessing to both of us. And indeed it was. Carson’s writing style is spot on as it always is and this one is a little less dense as compared to some of this theology books. It is as personal, reflective, and subjective as it possibly could be being that he was writing about his father.
Here are three things I learned about how to live life by this ordinary pastor named Tom Carson who lived in the country to our north:
1. He rarely if ever complained. He didn’t complain about others, he didn’t complain about ministry, he didn’t complain about anything. What a great testimony to the children and his wife. he lived Scriptures that talk of no grumbling, do everything without complaining, let your speech be always edifying, etc. He would pray these “complaints” in his journals to his Father whom he knew and loved. There he could leave them and knew that God would provide an answer in His timing. I need to learn to do this. I need to model this in my own life – even as I was journaling this yesterday.
2. He struggled with failure. If you have read Monday’s blog post you might notice a theme here and know why this aspect of this ordinary pastor’s life meant much to me. He strived in ministry his whole life and there were periods of his life when he saw little fruit. That would drain him, as he continued to strive for perfectionism. He would note later in his life about how he had failed his wife in her healthy years and wanted to make up for it. This was by no means a rejection of the gospel, because he clung to the truth that Jesus would be his entryway into heaven – He had done it all for him on the cross. It seems as though many famous and not so famous pastors and other ministry leaders struggle with failure and depression. I don’t know if anyone but the Lord ever knows of a man’s real struggle. But, how this encouraged me, was to daily encourage my husband, do not be one of the many that may at some point wear on him or beat him down. He needs to hear encouagement from me and find me telling him (and telling myself) to hope in the gospel of Jesus.
3. I saw the faithfulness of a marriage. I have never cried so much in reading a book. The last two chapters I could barely read because there were too many tears. Carson told of his mom’s failing health of Alzheimer’s disease and how his dad was faithfully by her side. How he would give up ministry and stay home to bathe, feed, dress, his wife of more than fifty years. The book recounts his journal articles of hopelessness and failure in the many ways he was serving her (due to his own perfectionism) and how he so missed her when she was gone. Then Don tells of his own Dad’s passing, how he died about 3 years after his wife, was sick, and unfortunately died alone in a hospital room. Even though the children had been there and were just going home to rest, they couldn’t get back to the hospital in time. I think that was the saddest part of the book – to die alone – but Jesus was with him and his children loved him. He was a great man to them. And they got a healthy view of what a godly marriage should be. This of course means more to me now after I am married then it would have before. I can’t imagine living life without my husband, even though I’ve only known the man a little over a year of my life. How I survived the previous 33.5 without him I don’t know. God is certainly gracious to me. And I know that God has only loaned him to me for a while, and that when He takes him (or me) if that happens before Jesus’ return: then, just as HE IS ENOUGH now, God will prove Himself to be all that I need then, too.
I think back to the celebrity pastor panel at T4G this year…and this is how Don Carson ends his book of his Dad’s life:
“Tom Carson never rose very far in denominational structures, but hundreds of people in the Outaouais and beyond testify how much he loved them. He never wrote a book, but he loved the Book. He was never wealthy or powerful, but he kept growing as a Christian: yesterday’s grace was never enough. He was not a farsighted visionary, but he looked forward to eternity. His journals have many, many entries bathed in tears of contrition, but his children and grandchildren remember his laughter. Only rarely did he break through his pattern of reserve and speak deeply and intimately with his children, but he modeled Christian virtues to them. He much preferred to avoid controversy than to stire things up, but his own commitments to historic confessionalism were unyielding, and in ethics he was a man of principle. His own ecclesiastical circles were rather small and narrow, but his reading was correspondingly large and expansive. He was not very good at putting people down, except on his prayer list.
When he died, there were no crowds outside the hospital, no editorial comments in the papers, no announcements on television, no mentiona in Parliamnent, not attention paid by the nation. In his hospital room there was no one by his bedside. There was only the quiet hiss of oxygen, vainly venting because he had stopped breathing and would never need it again.
But on the other side all the trumpets sounded. Dad won entrance to the only throne room that matters, not because he was a good man or a great man – he was, after all, a most ordinary pastor – but because he was a forgiven man. And he heard the voice of Him whom he longed to hear saying, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant, enter into the joy of your Lord.'” (pg 147-148)
This is a good read for anyone who loves biographies, a pastor or ministry worker, a pastor’s wife, or an ordinary Christian who needs to be encouraged by a life of faithfulness and how God rewards His own.
Thank you Dr. Carson for sharing your memoirs of your Dad with readers like me. They were necessary.
by Kimberly | May 22, 2012 | Books, mothering
Raves: that is all I have ever heard about this book. And in some ways, I think those are correct.
And in some ways, I think those raves fail.
Where this book is strong is in its every day ideas for parenting of multiple small children. Jankovic’s experiences she shares with her readers bring them many practical steps for raising children that are great with their siblings. I would love to pick this book up when I’m facing difficult challenges when parenting goes awry. She offers great biblical advice for mothers who are in need of direction of how to set their children on the right path. As some of my friends have said, you will want to read this at least once a year.
Another aspect of this book that I love is short chapters. She definitely knows and identifies with her main audience here: mothers who don’t have a lot of time to themselves. As most mothers will testify to – quiet time is scarce: sometimes stuck between nap times or when you are taking a shower, or drying your hair (especially on those days when you actually get a shower). These chapters are short and practical and funny and down-to-earth. You will want to read it time and time again.
Here is where this book fails for me:
1. Although she is most definitely a Christian and writes from a biblical perspective, a gospel perspective, there are maybe a handful of Scripture references in the book. With all of her references to the gospel, to obedience, to the Law – there are many opportunities for her to direct her readers to Scripture, and the sufficiency of it for our parenting. Instead, we mostly just have her experience, which is great – but I want to base my parenting on the Word and see what of the Bible I can bring to Baby’s life and mind – and point him to the source. Also, if I want to share this book with other parents, or a neighborhood small group of moms (made up of Christians and non-Christians) they see good kids are the outcome, but not necessasrily gospel-centered children who see Christ in their parent’s parenting.
2. There are very few mentions of how the Dad plays a role in the parenting. If you take this book and Gospel-Powered Parenting and combine them – then you would have one that reaches both parents because it would speak to the joint effort of parenting with the spiritual leading of the Dad as the head of the home. One may be too Dad-based and one (this one) may not have enough Dad in it. I know she is writing to moms who are “stuck” in the house all day with children (and by stuck I’m not being sarcastic or rude, God allows our role to be in the home and we have the ministry of running our home and raising our children). But, I do believe Dads need to have more of a hand in the parenting that happens in the house. Even though he may be gone all day, I want my husband to be an integral part on our baby’s life and heart.
All that being said, here are some of my favorite quotes:
“Christian childrearing is a pastoral pursuit, not an organizational challenge.” – pg 50
“It is not about ignoring the sin, it is about renewing the fellowship.” – pg 76
“When you have disciplined, there should be a restoration of fellowship.” – pg 86
I know, who am I to talk, I’m not a “real” parent yet – I’m not having to make disciplining decisions on the spot and dealing with 3 children tugging at my skirt and flinging flour all over the kitchen or one who has a diaper blowout. But, I hope to apply some of these great tips that she has offered and hopefully employ my husband’s help and his kindness and grace tied with the hope of the Word of God.
by Kimberly | May 21, 2012 | Uncategorized
Is this your address? 24 Failure Mode Lane. Do you live here every day of your life – or even one day? If so, if you are like me in this way, this post is for you (and me).
Most of my posts come out of my personal experiences and reflections on the gospel in light of those. The past two weekends I have dwelt on Failure Mode Lane. It seems like what I attempted I failed at and attitudes and right spirits just were not in me. I failed in what I said, what I did, attitudes, etc. Then, I would look at my poor sweet hubs and put my head on his chest, exhausted, crying, and I say, “I am such a failure. I’m dwelling in failure mode. Why can’t I do anything right?”
Eventually he would say to me, “You are about to get another word taken out of your vocab if you keep this up!” What he meant was I say certain words right now that he won’t let me say because they are not the gospel truth in my life: words like fat and failure and opinionated. These words don’t proclaim truth over my life and into my spirit. One of the ways my sweet husband leads me so well is by preaching the gospel into my life. Sometimes I get so discouraged in this time in our lives, marriage, and ministry that I can’t preach it to myself. I’d rather stay in failure land. He is there. That is why God gave him to me. He knew I would need someone to come alongside me and preach incredible words of grace to me.
I am writing this post tucked away in a mountain cabin for 5 days: reading, writing, resting. This is what I read this morning from Loving the Little Years: “A way we can do damage to ourselves is through the use of totally innocent words that we use to allow ourselves something (like failure, fat, opinionated, etc). Whatever terminology you use to allow yourself a little self-pity. Actually I may be overwhelmed, but I may not say that I am overwhelmed. The words have a real power over us. If you say it, you allow it for yourself.” (pg 41)
A pastor’s wife friend of mine quoted her husband today by saying, “”Without Christ you will work even while you are resting, and with Christ you will rest even while you are working.” You can listen to the sermon here.
So, what are your responses when you fail?
1. Stop saying it. When you fail at something, own it, then get over it. Fix it, or let it go.
2. Get help. Ask your husband or best friend or someone to hold you accountable. I remember when I was little I would get my mouth washed out with soap if I sassed my Mom or said something I shouldn’t have said. I need to think about that reaction everytime I say the word failure and fat (or fill in the blank with your nasty word you use).
3. Preach the gospel to yourself. You are not what you do. Your life is summed up by what Christ did for you on the cross. If you are at a point in life when you can’t preach the gospel to yourself – have someone else preach it to you.
You will fail at dinner (maybe burn the biscuits or the cake falls or crumbles). You will fail at loving your husband (you will use your mouth in a way that condemns him and puts him down instead of builds him up). Your house will be messy at some point (I still didn’t get the bathroom cleaned before I left this weekend). Its ok. Life will go on. Pray for grace to make it another day. Your Christ is sufficient.
As Paul claims in 2 Corinthians:
“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
(2 Corinthians 12:9-10 ESV)
by Kimberly | May 20, 2012 | mothering
Baby..come on!
We have a name (it will be a surprise – just let me tell you I LOVE this name and am so excited)!
Our crib has been ordered.
Almost done with registering at Amazon, Buy Buy Baby, and Target.
Done with birth classes.
I haven’t thrown up in 10 days (praise the Lord).
I have gained too much weight but I’m trying not to stress about that.
I’m reading books.
Husband is reading books.
It is already HOT (most days).
Little pregnancy annoyances: dry lips, aching back, clothes are tighter, can’t wear my wedding band (although thankfully my engagement ring still fits), headaches constantly.
Joys: no recent stomach issues, feeling baby boy kick all the time, praying through Boyhood and Beyond for baby, knowing my husband is going to be an amazing father to this little one.
Almost 24 weeks – count down is on!
Thanks to my friend Moments Under the Sun Photography for this wonderful picture capturing my baby and my love for him!
by Kimberly | May 20, 2012 | flowers, north carolina, photo shoot
Kernersville, NC: tucked in between Greensboro and Winston-Salem is this small town jewel that boasts of a pretty garden, some excellent food, and a quaint tea house. Enjoy the photos.
Taken at PJC Gardens and the Pegg House.
by Kimberly | May 17, 2012 | food, Uncategorized
The taste of summer – at breakfast!
I went strawberry picking the other week, got about 6 lbs and was exhausted. That’s what being pregnant will do for you. Well, I had some left and they were just about to be gone (meaning, they were going bad) so I wanted to use them up. So, I woke up one morning and thought I’d look up a recipe.
I tweaked one I found on the internet and came up with these. Light and fluffy, perfect with some added berries on top and some real maple syrup. This batch made 10-12 pancakes depending on how big you want them. Enough for the hubs to have some leftovers the week I’m out of town.
Enjoy the fresh summer taste!
- 1 1/4 cup all-purpose flour
- 2 tbsp light brown sugar
- 1 1/2 tsp baking powder
- 1/4 tsp baking soda
- 1 cup buttermilk
- 1/2 cup skim milk
- 2 large eggs
- 2 tbsp canola oil
- 3/4 cups sliced strawberries
Mix dry ingredients, then wet ingredients and combine. Spray griddle pan and cook the pancakes (I used 1/4 cup to scoop out the batter) over medium heat until bubble form around the edge of the pancakes.
Enjoy warm with butter, syrup, or whipped cream, and if you are a strawberry freak like me – more strawberries!
by Kimberly | May 16, 2012 | Uncategorized
Buzz word: gospel.
It seems like a lot of people have their own definition of what the gospel is. I recently have heard many different ones: social gospel, your relationship with Jesus, prosperity gospel, family.
Dr. Moore in his book, Adopted for Life, says this: “Adoption is, on the one hand, gospel. In this, adoption tells us who we are as children of the father. Adoption as gospel tells us about our identity, our inheritance, and our mission as sons of God.” (pg 17-18) I heard this quote as “the gospel is fundamentally about family”. Hearing this quote in the context of where I was made perfect sense. But, it led me to think that it may not be understood in a larger cultural context.
I know both the speaker and Dr. Moore and I know that they fully believe the gospel is the cross of Jesus Christ and how he died to reconcile sinners to the perfect Father who is sovereign and creator of all things. There is no doubt about that.
But, when we have one chance to explain the gospel to unbelievers: this may not be the best place to start. If we are given one hearing, one audience, I would start with the holiness of God, the sin of every human, the need for the cross, and salvation that comes only through Jesus. I know these men would say this as well.
I love that adoption pictures the gospel in that we can see God’s heart for the unwanted, the outcast, the bringing people to Himself that aren’t just like Him. It is amazing.
But, in this world of universalism, synchritism, and plurality of what is actually truth – may we be cautious in how we explain the gospel. I know people who have adopted children and aren’t believers (they may be a perfect audience for hearing what God did for them through Christ), but some people and different world religions place a lot of emphasis on family. If I have family then I’m good to go. Or I’m a good person and family is important to me – that’s all I need. I don’t want to let anyone think that that is what I mean if I say “the gospel is fundamentally about family.” Sometimes we don’t have time to go through a whole conversation – we are given one chance.
One book I would HIGHLY recommend if you are thinking about adoption or are wondering how this cultural hot topic applies to the gospel and the Christian life is Dr. Moore’s Adopted for Life. Here are some other quotes that I love that talk about this topic:
“The gospel is good news because it announces to us that God has acted in Christ not just that we may have heaven, but so that we may have God.” – John Piper, God is the Gospel, pg 148
“The gospel of Jesus Christ is humbling because it tells us that we are broken and need fixing. All false gospel, {including anything we can do to make ourselves feel better or be more culturally aware of significance} appeal to our human vanity because they tell us that we are less broken and can at least participate in fixing ourselves.” – Josh Moody, No Other Gospel, pg 37
“The pressure to find a bigger more relevant gospel seems to have taken hold of a great many people.” – Greg Gilbert, What is the Gospel?, pg 103
The true gospel has been around for a long time (since before the foundations of the world) and we as humans can’t do anything for ourselves. We must wholly believe that Jesus is our only hope.
“Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners.” – 1 Timothy 1:15
by Kimberly | May 15, 2012 | Uncategorized
The only sermon I heard live at T4G…Ligon Duncan’s…most memorable as well. It was just what I needed.
Shortly after I began writing for Providence in April 2010, my wonderful, caring, God-honoring boss said something along these lines to me: “Kim, have you ever done something so big in your life that it had to be done by faith?” I thought for a moment, then honestly answered no. That was a humbling and convicting. That conversation got me through writer’s block and frustrating times of no vision.
I’m there again. And that’s why this sermon was so needed for me.
Ligon preached on Elijah in 1 Kings 19. For a brief synopsis: Elijah had just come off a great victory against the gods of Baal. God’s name was declared to the people as the Only God. Then, he immediately started hiding from the queen. You would think he would have been on top of the world? Then…he wanted God to act in a certain way in his life. He, in His sovereignty, chose not to. God then spoke to Elijah, giving him some action points. No where in the rest of the Bible does it say that Elijah accomplished these to-do items from the Lord. Was he so struggling that he saw no point in the obedience. Scripture speaks from absence.
But, later when Elijah meets up with Elisha God takes him in an unexpected way to heaven. Then, we see that Elijah gets to be on the mountain when the Savior of the World is transfigured before him. He got to see God’s glory displayed in Christ on the face of the earth: that’s really what Elijah’s whole earthly ministry was about. I love how Ligon said this: “I would have loved to have been in heaven to hear that conversation between Elijah and God the Father after the moment at the mount of transfiguration (when Elijah returned to heaven).” Would Elijah have finally gotten it – that he just witnessed the answer to his life long prayer and vision?
One of Ligon’s main emphasises through the morning sermon was isn’t it just like God to not give you what you want. God has been so gracious in my life, but there is struggle to keep vision and dreams and wanting God to speak when He seems silent. Not distant, just silent.
When weariness and blindness set in – do we still dream?
Ligon said something very hopeful to me that I am still learning: “He is able to fulfill your biggest dream, even when you can’t dream anymore.” When the vision is gone, when every day is a step of faith, when the dream is losing its brightness – what do you cling to?
As the name of Elijah means: “my God is God.” And the verse I cling to right now is: “You are good and do good; teach me your statutes.” (Psalm 119:68)
“We all have our own life to pursue, our own kind of dream to be weaving. And we all have some power to make wishes come true, as long as we keep believing.”
Louisa May Alcott
by Kimberly | May 14, 2012 | mothering
Mother’s Day was one that brought many thoughts flooding into my head. Actually – I had been thinking about it days before and continue to think about it today – so I guess I should say the topic floods my mind with thoughts! Can a topic flood? That was just for my editor who corrects my grammar!
This was indeed my first Mother’s Day. I am thankful for Baby Campbell in my tummy and he was kicking up a storm – even so that my sweet hubs felt him continually. Felt like he was getting rearranged or something in there last night as I was laying on the couch. E gave me a sweet card with two little white booties on the front. I love carrying his baby! He is such a kind husband!
My MIL and FIL came over for lunch. We had pecan glazed salmon, green beans, scalloped pototoes (who can go wrong with 3.5 cups of heavy wbippjng cream?), crescent rolls, with homemade Italian Cream Cake for dessert. These were my MIL’s wishes – so I obliged her. The Italian Cream cake is my favorite and it was my first time making it. Except for some of the cake not coming out of the pans, it was delicious. Enjoying leftovers definitely!
I did call my Mom, though probably the last Mother’s Day I actually spent with her in person was 2007. That’s a long time. Thankful that she keeps me posted on family members and what is going on in the sunshine state. I asked her to tell me more memories of her mother, my Granny, who has now been gone for 2 mother’s days. She told me Granny could draw really well. I didn’t know that. Ask, learn, pass down information!
Here are my random thoughts:
1. What a great responsibility that God has blessed us with in raising a boy. To raise him to be kind, loving, a servant, a follower of Christ, a manly man, to bear his responsibility for masculinity well by grace. Honestly, I was leaning toward wanting a girl, even though I was 100% we are having a boy, just because I like pink and purple! But, oh, what a privilege to raise baby in light of Jesus!
2. I hurt for all those women out there who can’t have children, either ever or just for a season. I know too many of them. I hurt for the ones who have miscarried recently or have lost their babies to sickness. My heart aches for them.
3. I love learning from mothers who aren’t my mothers: Phyllis, Tina, Danna, Lindsay – especially those four – what a blessing! (They all have boys and I hope to be learning from Amber and Betsy soon!
4. I hurt for the women who aren’t even wives yet but so want to be married and be able to have children. I have known that want for quite a long time, but God in His graciousness saw fit.
5. I hurt for ones who have lost their moms. What a painful, bittersweet, heaven-filled joy (hopefully) of memories of their Mom. I wish my E had gotten to know my Granny. I still miss her.
Photo credit: GreenFlash Productions
by Kimberly | May 10, 2012 | Uncategorized, Women
With all this political talk this week – that I am sure will continue and clog up social media from now until the end of January 2013 – don’t worry – this post has nothing to do with politics.
One of my sin problems I dealt with as I got older and remained single was my pride in my independence. I would say all the time “I love being single! I can come and go whenever I want, spend my money, cook whatever I want, etc. I worried about me.” I was so independent. That is actually one of the things that people in my life told me would be the hardest for me and would make marriage very hard: my independent spirit. I won’t say that the transition to married life and being in close relationship with someone else, especially my spiritual head, leader of our home, hasn’t been tough some days – but God has been very gracious.
One way I see that I still need work is when I am trying to solve problems, fix things, live the “spiritual” life on my own. I can be dependent on my sweet (yet human) husband, but I find far too often I live my life independent of God. I got this reality check when I met a sweet, decade+ friend for breakfast recently. She is also a pastor’s wife; so there are similar struggles with life in the ministry and marriage. I slid into the booth at Panera, looked at her, and said, “Ok, I need some honest wisdom. How did you do ____________?”
This was her answer: “I prayed. Some days all I could do was sit on the couch with my Bible and read. I had to depend on God.” That was definitely my takeaway from that time with her and I’m thankful that God used the Spirit in her life and her experience to convict me of sin in my own heart.
So, as I’ve been thinking about what this might look like as I continue going down this road of marriage and the Christian life, here are some thoughts:
1. God is most glorified in us when we are most dependent on Him. Yes, I stole the title from this blog post from the Resurgence. So good! Please read it. God wants to be glorified in our lives and will be when we place all of our hope and trust and dependence on Him.
2. I can’t make it every day without Him. I am realizing that with my new role as a mother of a little boy and a wife to an amazing, godly man – that I can’t just live life on my own. I need God to direct my words, be in my actions every day, force me to put a smile on my face when I may not feel like it, worship even when there is “pain in the offering”, be steadily rejoicing and counting the trials as joy (James 1).
3. God is good and can be fully leaned on. E will not always be there for me. I am going to the mountains for 4 days with a friend in 2 weeks and I can’t bear the thought of being without my hubs for that long. Thank goodness for cell phones and facetime. I don’t look forward to not being able to wake up with him in the morning or talk about our days at the time when we crawl into bed. But, without E with me, God will still be with me. He is always with me. He is dependable. The Psalmists talked about this often and I love reading these when I am tempted to lean on anything but God:
Psalm 66:5 Come and see what God has done: he is awesome in his deeds toward the children of man.
Psalm 59:9-10a O my Strength, I will watch for you, for you, O God, are my fortress. My God in his steadfast love will meet me.
As single women – don’t get too stuck in your independence that you are afraid to trust your heart to the one kind, gentle, masculine man that loves Jesus and that God has created for you. Wives, don’t fully depend on your husband for everything you need and forget God. I’ve learned (am learning) both. God is gracious.
