by Kimberly | Apr 16, 2012 | Bible, marriage, mothering, Women
“So train the young women to love their husbands and children.” – (Titus 2:4 ESV)
I learned this very well from my mentor, Phyllis, through the years as I’ve watched her diligently and passionately pray for her husband and children, and their spouses, and now her grandchildren. As I’ve started my own for my husband, and now my Baby Boy Campbell coming in September, I wanted to share some thoughts and how-tos that I’ve learned from her over the almost 20 years of knowing her.
1. Get paper. I remember after my second date with my husband, I went to B&N later that night and got a moleskin notebook and started journaling and praying for him, knowing one day I would give it to him at our wedding. And I did. He is reading through it now. But, really, ladies…you don’t need a moleskin or fancy notebook. You can use a journaling Bible (like this one from Crossway) and journal through your reading in there or just grab some loose-leaf paper and stick it in a folder (like we did back in high school, before everything needed to be turned through a computer). The paper doesn’t matter, the action does.
2. Get a pen/pencil/crayon. I have tried to steer away from pens that will bleed through the pages of my moleskin (almost done with #2 right now) but sometimes a bleed pen is the only one around. I would also challenge you to get a real pen and paper (not a computer) because you’ll be able to cherish these notebooks for years to come and your children and husband can read them as well! I know we are a techno world now, but I truly believe that some things are better hand-written.
3. Get a Bible. One of the MUSTS for this type of praying is that you pray Scripture over your spouse/children. What Phyllis taught me is that I don’t need books or even to be really creative, I just need God’s Word. She trusts in its sufficiency, and so do I. You don’t have to start a new reading plan – just read. If you want to, start with the Psalms, or one of Paul’s epistles or (gasp!) even the book of Deuteronomy. Pray these Scriptures for your husband/children. Here is an example from Psalm 112:
Praise the LORD!
Blessed is the man who fears the LORD,
who greatly delights in his commandments!
His offspring will be mighty in the land;
the generation of the upright will be blessed.
Wealth and riches are in his house,
and his righteousness endures forever.
Light dawns in the darkness for the upright;
he is gracious, merciful, and righteous.
It is well with the man who deals generously and lends;
who conducts his affairs with justice.
For the righteous will never be moved;
he will be remembered forever.
He is not afraid of bad news;
his heart is firm, trusting in the LORD.
His heart is steady; he will not be afraid,
until he looks in triumph on his adversaries.
(Psalm 112:1-8 ESV)
“Father, I praise you and thank you that you have given me a Psalm 112 husband. Thank you for answering that prayer. I thank you that E fears you more than he fears man and that he takes great delight in your word each morning, even as we are going through James this year as a couple. I pray that our children, even this little one in my tummy right now, will be blessed to follow and know you and dwell richly and mightily in the land as they seek you wholeheartedly because of your grace and the display of faithfulness of their earthly Father (all because of grace). Thank you for allowing my E to show me grace and mercy when I fail, and fail miserably at times. Thank you also that he pursues you and righteousness. Continue to weigh in his heart and his actions so that they might please you. I praise YOU that E is a generous man who does not hoard the money that you have blessed us with but wants our giving and our home to be a place of blessing for others. May we continue to live in that way. I pray Lord, that even in difficult times, that you would make his heart strong and firm in you – knowing that you never change and that you will lead him in righteousness (Psalm 23). Do not let him coward and be afraid, but be bold and know that you are God until the day that you make him triumph over his enemies for the glory of God in the world.”
And you can take the same chapter and pray it for your children, as I will for baby Campbell.
4. Pray. I know this may seem like the easiest one to do, and I do pray for E all the time and pray for baby Campbell as well (honestly mostly in the shower), but do this. I remember living for a time with my mentor and her family. I remember waking up early in the morning and walking downstairs, and Phyllis had already been there for hours praying and reading for her soul and the soul of her family. This was such a testimony to me. I fail in this so much. I need more grace to make it happen and to make it a glorious habit.
5. Save. Save your journals. I will save mine. Got an email from Phyllis this morning even that she has bookshelves and a chest full of these journals. What a legacy for your children and spouse as they see a wife/mother who first loved Jesus then prayed and loved them as well all the days of her life.
6. Side note: I sometimes read these journals to E as a way to encourage him. I let him read the first one (I gave it to him before our wedding). I use it as part journal of our marriage too. So for part of the journal I’m talking to God and part of it I’m talking to E, or baby Campbell in his. I’ve already seen how encouraging this can be and how much fruit can be harvested from this daily duty of delight (see John Piper).
PS…You can definitely read through books and pray those for your husband or children. I remember reading through A Guide to Biblical Manhood written by SBTS profs Dan Dumas and Randy Stinson and praying through those traits for E before we got married. By all means, use other things, but let Scripture be your guiding principle!
May I encourage you to begin today to be a wife and/or mother who lives by prayer and the Word of God. We fail miserably without them both. Thankful the Holy Spirit works His Word in us and shapes and fashions us according to His Plan and for His glory!
Phyllis – thank you for praying for Billy, Jeremy/Katie, Jill/Matt and all your beautiful grandchildren – and for me. You have truly been a Scriptural blessing in my life and continue to be so! Proverbs 31 by grace, you are! And if you have anything you would like to add Phyllis, please add it in the comments: I still have much to learn!
by Kimberly | Apr 10, 2012 | Bible
Good Friday was indeed good, as my husband said on his facebook status. We got glorious results from our u/s at Duke before lunch, enjoyed MadHatters and some shopping afternoon, and then shared in the Good Friday service at church that night.
I usually don’t post my journal thoughts, but I haven’t sobbed in a service in a long time (ok, blame some of it on pregnancy hormones). So, here goes…
My husband is the worship pastor, so when he got done he immediately sat down on a pew – complete opposite side of the sanctuary from me. (Don’t worry, nothing was wrong between us, he had his reasons and he later explained them, and moved during the transition to the Lord’s Supper which was a blessing to me).
However, as soon as E sat down over there and I knew he wasn’t coming over to me, I just hung my head and started sobbing. I had never felt so alone in my life – really. I don’t know why the loneliness hit me so hard right then. Maybe its the been the difficult transition of churches and relationships. Maybe it was just cause I wanted him to sit beside me. But, I’ve been by myself mean times before, but there was a wall of loneliness I’d never felt before, right at that moment.
Our pastor preached on Psalm 22 that night and walked us through the text. This is why I love expository preachers and journaling Bibles. Here is Psalm 22:1-3:
“My God, my God why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, from the words of my groaning? O my God, I cry by day, but you do not answer, and by night, but I find no rest. Yet You are holy, enthroned on the praises of Israel.”
Here is what I wrote in my journal next to these verses:
“I will always be rejected and forgotten. I can’t always count on anyone. There will be extreme times of loneliness. There’s only one who will never leave me. E will leave me, Baby Campbell will leave me, family will leave. Lord, thank you for that clear reminder that Christ has indeed been forgotten. He had been left on the cross and rejected by all friends and even His Father. Let no other have dearer place to me – God is so near to me. Nearer than anyone else will ever be. Like Hebrews says, Jesus knows my struggles.”
Having that reminder that Jesus knew our pain and our struggles (Heb 4:14-16) helped that night come alive in teaching for me. I sobbed the rest of that service. When E came over to sit by me, I sobbed more – it almost made it worse, though I was very glad he was by my side. A friend brought me some tissue, that was sweet, and I needed it. Lord’s Supper was hard to even look up to take the elements and harder to swallow the bread and juice. As we sang The Power of the Cross I sobbed through that and then that seemed to finally bring the crying to an end.
I left the service, got ready for bed, exhausted, both physically and spiritually. I didn’t tell E that night why I had been crying, but then when I told him I was even able to do so without crying (I don’t think I had any tears left).
Needless to say: it was indeed a Good Friday.
by Kimberly | Apr 3, 2012 | Bible
* Please don’t hate me because of this post. I weep with those who weep during miscarriages or infertility. Ask my husband, this is something always on my mind.
* I am excited to be pregnant and know that having a baby will be a life-changing experience that God has granted for my good and holiness and His glory. I look forward to being a mom.
There are different situations in life that illuminate familiar passages of Scripture. Being pregnant is one of them. Genesis 3 is a familiar passage to most who will read this blog. After the sin of Adam and Eve, God gives out punishment or tells all involved what will be the ramifications of them not following God’s laws that He gave them. For the woman, it was to be pain in childbearing.
“To the woman He said, I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children.” – Genesis 3:16a
I don’t know what God exactly meant by this statement, but I’m sure He saw the future of epidurals and different birthing techniques. And He even saw through time (because He is God) and sees my struggle with being pregnant. I know some women who absolutely love being pregnant. They would be pregnant all the time because it agrees with them: not much weight gain, no morning sickness, no tiredness. That is not me.
Here is the timeline for me:
1. Since before we even found out, I was extremely more tired than I was before I was pregnant. Even last night (I’m halfway through week 16 today) I couldn’t even get through watching a whole movie (Moneyball with Brad Pitt – good movie) with my hubs before falling asleep on the couch. I was so exhausted. And it wasn’t even 9pm when it was over. I am tired most of the time.
2. Weight Gain. This honestly is the biggest problem for me and I know God is working all things for my good. I had already gained weight since moving back to NC in 2010, but then I had a lost a bit before Christmas. Excited I mapped out a chart for the year to get back in shape and lose the post-NC/writer weight. That didn’t happen. And with my pregnancy, I need to keep food in my tummy to keep from being nauseous. That doesn’t do well for the scale. I can’t even do anything about it right now. It makes me sad to know I won’t be one of those moms that wore their regular pants till they were like 8 months pregnant and got back in their skinny jeans less than a month after giving birth. That won’t be me either. I can choose healthier foods (but sometimes I want pizza) and I can exercise (see #1). My husband has finally said I have to quit saying I’m fat. I’m working on that.
3. I dislike throwing up. Ok – so thankfully its been almost two weeks since throwing up, but that doesn’t mean I’ve not taken Zofran to help me not feel that way, and I’ve eaten something every 2 hours about (except while asleep) to keep that feeling at bay. But, really, it is no fun.
4. Back pain and stomach pain. I already have back issues and thankfully have a wonderful chiropractor that has made life better the last decade. But, there is constant dull pain. Like that helps with exercising. I know walking and working out does me well, see #1, and note that I do do this walking and exercising when I can. And usually, for menstrual cramps, I can take Aleve. Well, for pregnancy pain, you can’t take Aleve (not good for the baby) so I’m just “dealing with it”.
5. Emotionalness: Wow, poor hubs. I haven’t cried this much – EVER! I try not to be one of those women that blame their anger and irritability on “that time of the month” because even though I know hormones are different that gives me no reason to be snide and snippity and angry and fill-in-the-blank. There is no excuse for sin. We must take every thought captive. This is really tough. Maybe I’ll quit crying about everything sooner or later!
6. Faith. This is a tough part as well. Before our first ultrasound in February, all I did was stress that I would lose the baby. I couldn’t even really get excited about being pregnant. I wouldn’t allow myself that. Then since then I’ve wondered about how our baby will be: with some tests we have coming up. I know that God is good and does all things good. And every good gift and perfect gift is from above and I know that all children are a blessing from the Lord. And I know when I have to start timing the baby’s kicks in utero, I’ll be nervous if I go for a bit without feeling baby campbell move. I can’t see my baby. I can see my expanding tummy (its not all fat), and can see the ultrasound and hear the heartbeat, but all else is faith – and every moment in between those doctors appointments are faith too.
So, while I am excited about the result of this pregnancy (and nervous too – I don’t know how to be a mom), it has been tough. Thankful for the women around me who are an encouragement and thankful for a husband who always points me to Christ. I do not know how single moms do it – my husband is my biggest cheerleader – and will be there and cheering me on with out without an epidural!
And even with Eve’s sin in the garden, all of mankind’s sin (including mine), and all the pain in childbirth and raising a child, God has provided a way for us: Jesus. The Gospel is the answer to all of our sin. He is the answer for the curse of the sin. As it says in just the verse before:
“I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and her offspring; he shall bruise your head, and you shall bruise his heel.” (Genesis 3:15 ESV)
Praising God for the gospel and a chance to bear a son or a daughter that will hopefully come to know Jesus and be a Song for the Nations:
May we be a shining light to the nations A shining light to the peoples of the earth Till the whole world sees the glory of Your name May Your pure light shine through usMay we bring a word of hope to thenations A word of life to the peoples of the earth Till the whole world knows there’s salvation through Your name May Your mercy flow through us
May we be a healing balm to the nations A healing balm to the peoples of the earth Till the whole world knows the power of Your name May Your healing flow through us
May we sing a song of joy to the nations A song of praise to the peoples of the earth Till the whole world rings with the praises of Your name May Your song be sung through us |
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May Your kingdom come to the nations Your will be done in the peoples of the earth Till the whole world knows that Jesus Christ is Lord May Your kingdom come in us May Your kingdom come in us May Your kingdom come on earth |
by Kimberly | Sep 21, 2011 | Bible
When you hear that word: what do you think of?
I tend to think of down comforters and chicken pot pie (or any other type of Southern comfort food – like my Granny’s chicken and rice).
But, the Lord has been gracious to me in giving me this verse lately – one that I am working on memorizing the entire chapter – it has been of great comfort.
“You will say in that day, ‘I will give thanks to you, O LORD, for though you were anger with me, your anger turned away, that you might comfort me.”
(Isaiah 12:1 ESV)
God had every right to stay angry with me: I had sinned against His perfect love and law. I hate Him. I was His enemy.
Yet…He turned His righteous anger away.
He did this by sending Jesus to come to earth, dwell among us, and die on a cross – never having sinned even once.
He did this…to comfort me. Not to continue pouring out wrath on my life, but to comfort me with His love and goodness.
How does the mercy of God comfort you? How do you comfort others with it?
by Kimberly | Sep 13, 2011 | Bible, Books, Women
Are your quiet times ever dry?
Do you feel like the Bible should be more nourishing to you than what you are currently receiving?
Do you need some “juice” to get your daily walk with God into a run?
My friend Lara and her writing partner and friend, Katie, have written a helpful and readable e-book to help answer these such questions. There are times when every woman feels like that their quiet times just aren’t what they should be. Maybe you are a mother of young children and its hard for you to even get in 5 minutes a day (while you are taking a shower, usually). Or maybe you a mom of teenagers and you pray for them constantly. Maybe you are married and you find your role as a wife to be overwhelming. Maybe you are single and you are looking for direction.
God’s Word has the answers to all of these life situations and you CAN get the most out of God’s Word. God’s Word is sufficient for all your needs and His Word is true.
Maybe, you are reading this, and you’ve never had a quiet time. You don’t know how. Katie and Lara address this issue – then take that deeper. Its not just a scheduling how-to, its a heart how-to. So, this book is good for you – wherever you are in your journey with Christ.
Hear these words: “I wake up wanting to hold the reigns of control and set my agenda. Before my feet hit the floor my mind takes off. I have to start the day low. I am the needy one – empty-handed and thirsty for His presence. I arise from my slumber into His day – His plan. I’m the one who slept all night while He never wearied.”
Ladies – this book has great insight, honest feelings, and great resources to help you journey on and savor the Living Water of Christ through the Words of the Bible.
Savor. Win a free e-copy of this by leaving a comment about your favorite Bible verse and what it means to you! Thanks Lara and Katie!
by Kimberly | Jul 5, 2011 | Bible
One of the pleasures of being on staff at a church is hearing from different men who are gifted at sharing the Word. This verse was shared in our weekly staff meeting this morning and I thought I would dig in a little more and then decided to share it with y’all here.
And side note: sorry I missed Much and Link Love yesterday – it was a holiday – hope you enjoyed yours)!
Psalm 31:19
“Oh, how abundant is your goodness, which you have stored up for those who fear you and worked for those who take refuge in you, in the sight of the children of mankind.”
1. God is abundantly good. I also was reminded of Ephesians 3:20 this morning as well. God is just not good – He is abundantly good! He loves showing His children His abundant goodness.
2. God has stored up His goodness. He has stored it up – ready to pour it all out upon our heads. Are you ready to receive the blessings and goodness of the Lord? I am. Bring it. God has been so wonderfully gracious to me in the last 15 months of my life – I can’t imagine what good He still has in store for me.
3. God will work. His Word and activity are one. He isn’t like some people and say “do as I say not as I do”. No – there is no hint of change in Him. He always keeps His Word. Will you trust Him to do it? If you won’t – confess that sin. Trust in Him that He will work according to His perfect plan. Keep praying and seeking His work and His face!
4. Our job: take refuge: REST. I see this often in single women who search so hard for the right man. Why? Because we want the good of being married. Marriage is a good thing to those whom God has it is in store. But, we are to take refuge: not plot, scheme, search, lead. Let’s rest, be obedient, and not be anxious about it. Most of our anxiousness comes from doing what we are not supposed to be doing: running ahead of God, not trusting, sinning, etc.
5. Why does He do all this? Supremely for His GLORY! Not ours. I’m not getting married to the most incredible man I know just because God wants me to be happy. He has not given me a great job that I love to do just so I can say I have my dream job. He has done wonderfully amazing things in my life like giving me incredible friends and people who pour into my life – FOR HIS GLORY. He wants to see His renown known to all the children of mankind! Throughout all the earth!
Thoughts?
