by Kimberly | Dec 16, 2016 | Books
It is just 9 days before Christmas, everyone is hurrying around, crossing items off their lists, getting dressed up to attend Christmas parties, and drinking eggnog. Maybe blaring Christmas music from the ipods and car radios. Making peppermint bark and addressing those family Christmas cards.
It is definitely meant to be a joyful season – the reason being is that Jesus came to earth as a baby and we celebrate that at Christmas time.
But, what do you if your holidays are mixed with sadness? This world is full of sadness, and maybe, as you look back over 2016, you realize that your life is more sad than happy, not going quite like you wanted or hoped it would.
Sadness is not a sin. We see throughout the Psalms (especially) that the writers were sad: they were saddened by the events going on around them. They were sad because of things happening to them. They were just sad. And that was ok. We need to dwell on what is going to happen with our sadness? Do we have to immediately dismiss it and never deal with it – no. We need to think about it, think about why we are sad, maybe get someone to help think through our sadness, and let God have it. Let Him take away your sadness.
You may be sad because of relationships that are broken. You may be sad because you’ve lost loved ones over the past year. Maybe you are sad because you were hoping to share Christmas with a new baby but that baby was lost to a miscarriage. There is so much sadness. We need to be mindful of other’s sadness and have compassion on them.
Tanika Fitzgerald, in her book Miscarried Joy, helps point women to the gospel who have suffered a miscarriage, but the truths that she encourages women with would be applicable to anyone who who has been dealing with hurt and needs some help helping your heart. You need to hear these gospel truths that God is for you, delights in you, and is working in you even through pain. This season of Advent and Christmas can help you realize that there will come a time when Jesus makes everything sad become untrue (thanks Sally Lloyd-Jones for that one).
You can win a copy of Miscarried Joy and other goodies before Christmas!
by Kimberly | Dec 6, 2016 | Books, mothering, parenting
Not a day goes by hardly where I don’t see a mom on facebook who is crying out for time away, a little time to herself, or is enjoying a much needed break.
This is how I understand the Word “Sabbath”: resting from work. God instituted the first Sabbath by resting from the creative process of the world. He rested, examining all He had made. Resting in its goodness. Resting from work. People in the work force usually get a day off during the week (at least one) and that helps invigorate them, giving them rest from their working.
Mommas don’t get a Sabbath. 24-7 we are thinking about our kids, washing clothes, changing diapers, driving, being a doctor-on-call, disciplining, loving, reading books, cooking, making juice cups. No matter how old your child is, mommas never rest from being a mom. So, the question needs to be asked, when does a Mom get a Sabbath?
Our older son is now coming in to Sunday night church with us. My husband and I have worked out a schedule for who gets to hang out with him during the service: reading books, playing, drawing, sticking dinosaur stickers everywhere, etc. When my mister is off on a Sunday, I hang out with Elijah in the pew. If he works that afternoon, then he gets to focus on our son during the service. I know one day will come when he can sit and completely focus on the service for 75 minutes, but he’s not there yet. So, we want each other to get some time to focus on the service. Its a good system.
One way my mister blesses me is giving me a regular Sabbath (a few hours) each week. On his day off, he will usually say something like “Go, have some quiet time.” He plays with the boys or takes them to a park. I can go just sit in the Word, do errands, be creative, meet with a friend, etc. That is my Sabbath. I try not to use that whole time to run errands, but if I’m not doing it with two preschoolers, those errands don’t feel like work. And usually once or twice a year, he will give me the whole day to go away, either with friends or by myself, to recharge, rest from being with the boys, feed my soul on the Word, read books, be in nature, etc. I can tell you that every time this happens, I come back more readily able to care for my boys well.
Some people would say that mommas don’t need time away. I would heavily disagree. If men worked 24/7 without any break people would think he is crazy because he would have burnout, or wouldn’t be obedient in taking care of his body, etc. But, if mommas ask for a break, most people say they are being selfish or aren’t being a good momma. Need is maybe too strong of a Word, but God showed us how to take a Sabbath, it is one of the things He commands, and that is a weekly rest. So, yes, I think it is a need. You just have to figure out how to do it.
Letitia Suk encourages women to take a break too – to be with God, to be silent, to walk, etc. She talks about how to retreat in Getaway with God. This book was different then I thought. She showed a lot of grace and variety. It wasn’t a “this is how you do it” book. It was here are some ideas, you are going to come against obstacles, here are ways to see if these retreats can work for you, etc. If you are planning a spiritual retreat, especially, I would encourage you to pick this book up to read during your planning stages.
I know some of you might be wondering: I can never get my husband to play with the kids and give me time alone. Or I am a single parent and can’t get time away. Or, my husband’s schedule won’t allow it and we don’t have money for childcare. Here are some thoughts:
Talk to your husband. Talk to him about your need for a Sabbath. Start small. Maybe request 2 hours, or 3. Work your way up to a whole day.
If your kids are small, see if you can swap with a friend so both of you can have a few hours of Sabbath to yourself.
If your kids are in school, use that school time to retreat and rest.
If you don’t have money for childcare – I think this is where your community (or church) comes in. We should be able to ask for help – and people should ask us how they can help, be willing to serve and be served. I know its hard.
Whatever you do, don’t go without rest from being a Momma. Its seriously rewarding and seriously hard! God gives us the much grace that we deserve!
Thanks to Litfuse for the book. All opinions are my own.
by Kimberly | Dec 5, 2016 | Books, parenting
One thing that I think every parent longs for is a how-to manual. Well, maybe that, sleep, silence, and some time alone, and more money, but I digress.
How-to manuals do not exist. They don’t. I think it is mainly because every child is different so I don’t know how anyone would write one anyway.
I’ve only been parenting for over 4 years now – two boys are different then I thought they would be, but that isn’t necessarily a bad thing – just different. So, where do I turn for parenting advice?
Actually, my number one piece of advice on how to find parenting advice: seek out parents whose parenting style (and kids) you actually like/respect. Find a couple who has parented well (and of course, every parent makes mistakes) and ask them to hang out with you (and your kids) and give you pointers. In our parenting careers, there are a few parenting pairs who are further along in the parenting journey than we are – that we respect them, their walk with God, and how their kids have turned out – and we ask them questions. When I’m facing a decision or a discipline issue, I want tangible advice, so I text a friend or send an email to a few moms. They are a wealth of information.
Here’s what you need to do though. If you ask a few people, and they may each give you different advice – you still have to work it out in your own home. I take in all the advice, run it by my husband, talk to him about it, get on the same page, try it out, and maybe still regroup if that doesn’t work. Everyone will give you advice on how to raise your kids – but you can’t possibly take all the advice you receive. God has given you a teammate (hopefully) in your spouse, and he’s given you the Holy Spirit. Wisdom and partnership, prayer and community.
Another helpful tool in the parenting game is books. I’m an avid reader and honestly had read most of the philosophical parenting Christian books before I even had kids. I worked in ministry with parents and went to seminary in the Christian education department. But, man, it is different applying all of those when you have kids. One book I recently have read is Things I Wish I’d Known Before We Became Parents by Gary Chapman (of the Five Love Languages fame). Through general topics, real-life experience, humor, and practical steps, talking points, and hope – he helps parents navigate through some big obstacles in parenting. I wasn’t surprised by any of his topics, and most of his advice was a refresher course, but so helpful to hear tips from someone who has been there and done that. One of the aspects of the book I like the most is the talking points at the end of each chapter. Parenting is tough. When you are talking about it with your spouse, or if you are a solo parent, with others – you are already anchored with questions to ask, or discussion questions to help point you in the right direction.
If you would like to win a copy of this book, then just leave me a comment with the best piece of parenting advice you’ve ever received. That’s it. Thanks to Sidedoor Communications and Northfield Publishing for the chance to read this book, give a copy away, and all opinions are my own.
by Kimberly | Nov 21, 2016 | Books, Kids r Readers 2
I didn’t always love to read. I went to a Christian school and read when I had to. I remember reading Sweet Valley High, John Grisham novels, and The Babysitter’s Club. Also, started reading the Bible and Max Lucado books when I got to high school. I didn’t read any of the classics growing up – I waited and have read some as an adult.
Now, I love to read, and I want to make sure my children read well as they grow up. It is such an important discipline, it can be fun, and will prepare them well for adulthood. I’ve teamed up with my friend Leah Finn to provide yall with some tips on how to raise kids who love to read. Most of her children are older than mine and are reading on their own. Believe me, even if your kids aren’t reading on their own yet, you can still instill in them a love of books and reading.
- Let them pick out books they are interested in. Even if it is silly/not high literature (as long is it is appropriate). There is great joy in going to a library and being able to bring home a stack of books that you like. Kids love it and it helps them be interested in the books. How this is illustrated in our family is that for our older’s 4th birthday, he went on a day-date with Daddy. This year they went to our local library and picked out lots of dinosaur books. He came home and was all excited about reading and looking at the dinosaur books. One bit I would add is maybe pick out one or two for them each week in a different genre. This might broaden their horizons to the classics, biographies, or just a different topic.
- Read aloud classics and quality books. This is where they can get their “good” books in. Use voices and expressiveness to engage their interest. Read Aloud Revival is a great resource for finding books to read aloud. Kids are never too old to be read to. I love walking down the stairs most mornings to find my husband reading to our younger son. This is some great bonding time for them in the early mornings. And I love the time when I’m putting my older to bed, when I get to read aloud to him. Right now we are almost finished with Little House in the Big Woods and I’m eager to complete the series with him. I’ve also read some of the Narnia series with him.
- Use audiobooks to squeeze in extra reading time This can be in the vehicle while you travel, during rest time, while coloring or playing with legos, etc. I need to get better at this, and I think it will come as they get older. But, I do have the Narnia series on audio cd and I adored listening to them as an adult, and then read all the books (which I hadn’t done as a child).
One of the ways I’m always introducing new books to my children, is by being a part of Tommy Nelson Mommies. This month, we were given One Small Donkey. This book is great for preschoolers. It is told through the voice of a small donkey about the journey of Mary and Joseph to Bethlehem. It is a fun little story and teaches some truths about Jesus, creation, and worship at the manger. It takes some liberties, but it really is just a cute story you can read with your children. You can read it to them, then read the Bible story of the same account, talk about different aspects of truth and Christmas with your children.
If you would like to win this book for your own family library, just leave me a comment about which one of these tips above you incorporate into your parenting – or one you would like to include. Thanks Leah for helping me with this post, and thanks Tommy Nelson for the book.
by Kimberly | Nov 4, 2016 | Books, Kids r Readers 2
I love NCIS. Longmire. CSI. Law & Order (back in the day). Blue Bloods. Leverage. I love crime shows that usually get solved in a short amount of time. They take finding clues and knowing how to interpret those clues.
In some ways, the Gospel is the same. Faith is given to us. It is a gift from the Spirit. But, we can also investigate and prove true the claims of Christ. We can know that Jesus really existed, died, and rose again. And we can teach our kids something similar.
We still need to pray that they would indeed be given grace and faith to understand and love and surrender to Jesus and the Gospel. But, giving them tools to understand the gospel and know it is super helpful.
Cold Case Christianity is a new book that will be helpful in teaching your kids, I’d say especially boys before they reach the teenage years. It has help from a real detective and a real believer, with good diagrams and helpful questions for them to ask questions about Jesus for themselves.
This will encourage them in their walks with Jesus.
Thank you Litfuse for sending me the book. All opinions are my own.
by Kimberly | Oct 25, 2016 | Books
Who doesn’t love a good journal? I love journals – just their prettiness makes me want to grab them off the shelf and start a new journal. I have so many!
Journaling is one of those disciplines that I’m not super good at continuing. But, I want to be. So, how do I do that?
1. I write. Sometimes I don’t have to write that much. But, just getting in the habit of writing something, anything, down on paper is a good way to cultivate this habit.
2. I think. Sometimes I don’t write about anything significant. But, I do use my journal as sort of a conversation between me and God. Sorta my prayer language. Just talking with the one who knows everything about me anyway. You don’t have to journal like a prayer. You can journal to yourself, your future self, your younger self. You can journal about books you’ve read or songs you’ve heard.
3. I listen. LIstening is super important in journaling. You have to listen to yourself when journaling. You don’t want to write something you think others might want to read. Not all of us will have their journals published after their death. Most will never read your journal. So, listen – and then go back to step number 1. Repeat.
The new journal by Catherine Price is helpful in getting started in journaling. If you find yourself in a place of unknown of what to write, or you just sit and stare at a blank piece of paper, pick this one up. It will encourage you in your new habit. She offers just a sentence or two at the beginning to help guide your journaling for the day. You don’t have to fill up the whole page, just write. (see step 1).
Thanks to Blogging for Books for this book. All opinions are my own.
