Loving is Hard

Is the title of the blog news to anyone?  Anyone who is married, in a relationship, friends with someone, or even just someone who loves yourself – you know the truth to the title – Loving is Hard.

Loving may not be hard when you look at the way the world defines or acts out love.  If you have ever watched an episode of the Bachelor or Bachelorette or any other “matchmaking” reality show – you might think that love is all fun, easy, and highly entertaining.  But, one thing you would not find much of on these shows is the Biblical definition of love.

Some ladies here in AR this summer are studying a newer Crossway release that I had already read and reviewed but am going back through with some friends.  It is a highly convicting read – Phil Ryken’s Loving the Way Jesus Loves – but so good.  The point of Ryken’s book is not to put love in a certain category, but make Jesus love applicable to every area of your life.  Ryken takes the basic outline and characteristics of 1 Corinthians 13 and puts it in context of the gospels – showing how Jesus fulfilled every one of these characteristics of love.

One of the hardest displays of love is “love is not irritable”.  At least it is one of the hardest for me to live every day.  One aspect of love that I am working on in our marriage is not giving the silent treatment when I am hurt.  I tend to be easily offended (that is the one thing I am often seeking forgiveness for) and my way of dealing with it (sinful way) is the silent treatement.  That does nothing for a marriage at all.  My rationale for it is I don’t want to say anything in the moment that would hurt worse – but while there is wisdom in it – during my silent time I’m usually becoming more angry rather than praying and seeking God’s wisdom on what to do about the occuring situation.

Jesus has never given me the silent treatment.  He listens, talks (through his Word and the Holy Spirit), ever pleads my case to the Father.  I need to be more like Jesus – keeping in mind that it isn’t my righteousness at all that makes me look or act or love better – but only having more of the love of Jesus in me – which is all Ryken’s premise in the first place.

Do you find it hard to love?  Easy to love?  Pick up this book for encouragement and edification in how to love.

W&BT: Name Above All Names

A new month and a new feature on kd316.  As I’ve lived in many places there are many women whom I would love to have the ability to sit down in my living room and study this book together (or any other).  But, that can’t happen.  So, that’s why we have technology right?

Women from all over are going to join up and study Crossway Book’s new release (June 2013) of Alistair Begg and Sinclair Ferguson’s readable, applicable book on Jesus: Name Above All Names.  This has been an outstanding book in my opinion and I’ve been enjoying getting to know Jesus better, getting to know the authors better, and getting to know myself better (as you inevitably will when you study Jesus).

So, join us.  We will be starting on July 15 and the comments will be how we dialogue.  If you don’t necessarily want to comment via the comment section, you can always use facebook or email to dialogue.  But, I’d love to hear your thoughts (whether you are here in Little Rock or halfway around the world).  You have plenty of time to order your book.  The chapters are not long and they are very readable even for the average woman who has never been to seminary or anything. Jump on in!  Everyone needs to learn more about Jesus!

I’ll post the study from each chapter each Monday, starting with chapter 1 on July 15 (so if you have time, please go ahead and read it).

Name Above All Names (Review and Book Study Coming)

Jesus.  What’s in a name?

This is the most important name to us Christians – the one that our entire Hope lies in.  Begg and Ferguson, some of my favorite preachers, have teamed up to write a fabulous and readable book that studies some of the positions/names of Jesus.

I chose this book from Crossway this month because of the authors, but I was afraid it was going to be over my head or not really readable and applicable.  I was wrong on both acccounts.  They have made this book not only applicable but funny in places.

One of the underlying messages throughout this book is that Jesus is the center message of the entire Bible – and Jesus needs to be the center of your life.

So what about this special book study coming?  In the past I’ve had a full-time job writing curriculum for a church.  This is the book we are starting with!  This will be a 7 week series, so it should finish by the time some schools/home schools start back.  It will begin JULY 15 so it gives you plenty of time to get the book.  We’ll read a chapter per week and then have study questions here, some thoughts from my reading, and opportunities for you to comment on the blog and join in on the study.  This is sort of like Tim Challies’ Reading the Classics together.  I hope to have a blog button up soon so you can have it on your blog or facebook.  I’m really looking forward to studying this book together with yall and see how we grow in our knowledge of the Savior.  Oh, and this will be geared toward women only).

So, go buy the book and get ready to learn more about our Great Savior!

Book Review: Is That All He Thinks About (Taviano)

Disclaimer: This is a book about sex.  There, I said it.  My husband even asked me one time as I was talking with him about some of the topics in this book: “What are you reading?”  I told him it was a book for wives in sexual relationship with their husbands and only their husbands in a Christian marriage.

Taviano is a wife, mother of three girls, and a writer and blogger.   Is That All He Thinks About  is a quick but thought provoking read for wives in a married relationship.  She discusses many topics and answers that she discovered not only within her life and marriage relationship but also in a survey that she asked to friends.  With her findings, she seeks to help women live and live well their husbands in relationship to all things that go on in and outside of the bedroom.

I’m glad that she covers a wide variety of topics, even “taboo” talks that Christian women might not ever dare ask to friends because they don’t want to deal with misplaced shame – and she handles them in a biblical way, citing Scriptures when necessary.  If there isn’t a Scripture that deals specifically with a certain topic – than she uses biblical wisdom and other Scriptures and even just common sense or healthy living to come up with her opinions.

There is one problem I have with her book (and many other books on this topic written for women).  Many authors make an assumption that all men (or 99%) of them have sex on the brain all the time.  In my conversations with women, I don’t find that to be the case.  Some I spoke with before getting married myself dispelled that theory quickly.  There is one chapter in her entire book that deals with women who want more sex than their husbands and why that is the case, and what you could do.  I didn’t find it adequate.

Help women see that they most likely aren’t freaks of nature just because they desire more sexual relationships (not just romantic thoughts) than their husbands and help them deal with the guilt that may accompany that feeling.

Two practical ideas that come from reading this book when issuing it as a recommended read for other women:

1.  Read with caution.  Don’t take for face value everything she says (or any other author).  Think carefully and pray thoroughly through these sensitive topics.  Sexuality can make or break a marriage relationship.

2.  Talk to your husband.  It may be awkward at first, but you can’t just do things that a book says not knowing whether or not your husband is even similar to the men talked about in this (and other) books.  Your husband is YOUR husband.  The sexual relationship is between you and him.  Be honest, share, and grow together – even if you’ve been married 3 months or 25 years.

Thanks Marla for the book!

Book Review: Rob Rienow’s Limited Church Unlimited Kingdom

I’ve learned over the years that there are many people out there who think they have a handle on Family Ministry, but really just know what not to do or think they have ideas.  I don’t know much about this relatively new (to the modern church world) arena, but I have found one author I like and respect in this area: Rob Rienow.  He is the founder for Visionary Family and Visionary Marriage.  I’ve read several of his other books or writings.  This one is no different: true to what it says.

Let me explain.  In the first few chapters, Rob compels his readers to make sure they know what to do with Scripture.  To let Scripture speak for itself, know it, apply it, and know that the Word of God is true and sufficient – even for determining how to run ministries in your church.  And Rob doesn’t stop with just the first few chapters.  He then proceeds to complete the rest of the book using this method.  He lets Scripture be the driving force behind the remainder of his new book, Limited Church Unlimited Kingdom.

He goes through the Old Testament through the New Testament, Early Church, Reformation to present day in how the family has acted (and in specifics what the Word commands for families).  Rienow gives some great advice on the children in worship services discussion, shouldn’t parents have the main discipleship in their children’s lives, and what role does youth ministry have.  These are all important topics in this family ministry discussion these days.

What I appreciated most about Rienow’s book is that he stated at the beginning of the book that the Word demands that it have full authority (it is sufficient and perfect) and should also tell us how to do our local church ministries.  Then, he actually does it.  He doesn’t then go on to make up his own thoughts – he sticks with what Scripture says and bases his book on that.

Good man.  Good book.

Book Review: Lucado’s New Kids Book: The Boy and the Ocean (Crossway Books)

I really wish I had written this book. Lucado talks about some of my favorite created things: the ocean and the mountains.  On a personal note: that’s why I always thought NC or VA are the perfect states because you have both within a few hours of each other.  The wonder of East Coast living…but I digress.

Lucado does an excellent and theologically-accurate job of describing God’s love to kids in a way that they can tangibly see and touch and feel.  One of the canvases he discusses is the ocean.  Another one is mountains.  And a third is the stars.  All three can demonstrate to a child some ways that could help them know God’s love better.  Even as an adult who has been a believer most of my life, I think the ocean is the best way to communicate God’s love and other characteristics to others.  I think much of Psalm 19 and Romans 1 when I look at the oceans.

While this book doesn’t go into every aspect of God’s love or many more of His characteristics, it gives a good base to start from and it is good for little children (toddlers).

The writing goes well with the illustrations that are beautifully done in a fashion that will appeal to children.  That’s the only downside to kindle books – you don’t get the beautiful illustrations in a book you can hold.

Thankful for this book.  Elijah loved it and it will be read a lot by my little boy (and Little2 who is on the way).