by Kimberly | Sep 13, 2012 | Books, mothering, parenting
The day this post goes live will be my first son’s due date. As most of you Moms know out there in blogland – due dates rarely mean anything. I think it is a ploy for women to get all worked up and having something to plan for – then it comes and goes with little fanfare. But, we shall see.
As soon as I found out we we were having a boy, I wanted to start praying specifically for him to be a man after God’s own heart. I already was praying for his daddy that he would continue to press in and love Jesus – and that is what I want our son to model as well.
The first book I was recommended has been a wonderful tool for me to use to know things to pray for Baby about: Boyhood and Beyond by Bob Schults. This is actually a book written for boys, probably between the age of 10-12. And that means it was great for this pregnant mom and her attention span. Short chapters, not difficult theology, and very practical.
Covering such topics as: wisdom, letter writing, loving your sister, obedience, serving, working hard, preparing for a wife and children and a myriad of other topics, Bob writes courageously for young boys but not treating them as kids – treating them as young men.
I want to train my son early to be man after God’s own heart. Yes, there is plenty of time to have fun, play games, etc – but I want to raise him to be a man. Teach him the characteristics of what a man should be: gentle, kind, humble, meek, protector, provider, and leader – whether it is in the classroom, at home, or on the baseball field.
“God creates boy to become men.” – pg 40
I didn’t mark a lot in this book, because I will probably be praying it again for him and then giving it to Baby when he is old enough to read it and learn from its wisdom.
What do you or how are you praying for your children?
by Kimberly | Jul 23, 2012 | mothering
(This was my journal article selected for publication in the Journal of Family Ministry Spring/Summer 2012 published by The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary).
Note: I was given this topic to write in early December 2011. It was on the period between marriage and motherhood. Little did I know that the very next month I would find out I was pregnant. Maybe that will give you some insight into this journal article.)
There is a war constantly raging inside us. Paul shares this truth with the believers in Rome (1), and I share the same truth with you, from my experience of being a new wife living in the waiting period before motherhood. The two opponents in this war are anxiety and rest. Both of them contended within me even before I got married. I remember from the time I was a teenager pondering over the questions: Will I find “Mr. Right”? What will my dress look like? Where will I go on my honeymoon?
Once I did get married, long after I started asking these questions, similar questions continued in their persistence: Will we have children? When will we have children? Is our house or my husband’s salary big enough to sustain our lifestyle with children? What if we have trouble conceiving? Will we be infertile?
One might think these questions would stop as I prepare to enter motherhood, but they do not: Will I carry my baby to term? Will the baby be healthy? What are we going to name the baby? Will he or she ever come to know Christ? These questions constantly repeat themselves.
God, however, has provided the answer to all these questions: rest. The importance of rest is taught throughout Scripture, starting in Genesis when God rested after completing his creation work (21-3) The psalmist says to be still and know that He is God. Our rest is rooted in God’s care for us and his sovereign control over our lives. The command “do not fear” occurs frequently in the Bible (e.g., Gen 15:1; Num 14:9; Deut 1:21; Mat 10:31; 1 Pet 3:14; Rev 2:10). Paul exhorts the Philippian believers to rest in the peace of Christ and do not be anxious about anything. The circumstances we find ourselves in do not need to control us. God has bought rest and comfort for us by sending his Son Christ to pay our full penalty. If he died and rose again, then he also can take care of every situation we face on any given day. We rest by letting God be in control. The following are a few of the Scriptures that are most helpful to me when I cry to my husband and share with him these questions:
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be known to God. And the peace of God which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
“For the LORD God is a sun and shield; the LORD bestows favor and honor.” “Now may our Lord Jesus Christ Himself, and God our Father, who loved us, and gave us eternal comfort and good hope through grace, comfort your hearts and establish them in every good work and word.”
The 16th Century Heidelberg Catechism begins with a word that is applicable to this struggle between anxiety and rest:
Q1: What is your only comfort in life and in death? A: That I am not my own, but belong – body and soul, in life and in death – to my faithful Savior Jesus Christ. He has fully paid for all my sins with His precious blood, and has set me free from the tyranny of the devil. He also watches over me in such a way that not a hair can fall from my head without the will of my Father in heaven: in fact, all things must work together for my salvation. Because I belong to Him, Christ, by His Holy Spirit, assures me of eternal life and makes me wholeheartedly willing and ready from now on to live for Him. (2)
When my husband shared that with me, I initially mocked him saying, “And that’s supposed to help?” However, I have found that these truths not only apply when facing motherhood and the potential anxieties that accompany it, but they also can stand up against any anxiety we may have. When I know I am prone to anxiety, I can trust the Scripture will assure me that my comfort comes from Christ. When I wonder if I’ll be a good mother, the Spirit residing in me gives me strength to rest. When I fear that the baby I carry will die or be unhealthy, I think to this catechism and know that all things work together for my salvation. I knew then that these were the truths that I need to always cling to in moments of anxiety – to trust the Lord, and witness His victory in my rest.
1 See Galatians 5:1-25 for Paul’s discussion of the inner battle between flesh and spirit.
2 Kevin DeYoung, The Good News We Almost Forgot: Rediscovering the Gospel in a 16th Century Catechism (Chicago: Moody, 2010), 20.
by Kimberly | Jul 17, 2012 | mothering, photo shoot
This sweet friend and I are just days apart in our delivery due dates. We used to live in the same apartments in Louisville and enjoyed a sweet friendship. So excited they now live in my home state and are about to bring much joy to their family by adding one little member. Here are some photos from our day at the Grand Floridian at Walt Disney World. Many blessings, Sarah and Chuck!
by Kimberly | Jun 20, 2012 | mothering
Greetings from pregnancy land!
As I entered the third trimester last week, I am now on the countdown. I can’t wait to meet this little guy. No, I’ve not started dreaming what he looks like or anything, but I do hope he has my husband’s dimples. I had no hair for a couple of years and my husband had blond. So, oh, and his blue eyes would definitely be a great asset!
The next few months hold much for us: some trips to FL, some weddings, showers, writing, conferences, meeting with friends. When will I ever find time to organize the nursery? Really – the kid needs diapers. Those don’t need organizing!
I took my glucose one-hour test today – anxious about it as I woke up, drank the pop like a champion, and now I wait. To be honest, I’m not really good at waiting.
There are many decisions that we still have to make as a couple and we know that God is gracious and gives wisdom when we ask – so believe me, we are asking!
I now am feeling more pregnant, but BIG too. I know, I know – don’t worry about the weight. I’m not worried about it – just know that it is there.
It is getting hot in NC. It has been cool and I take that as “and God gives more grace” and why am I greatly anticipating being in FL in the middle of the summer? Who knows? Just am very thankful for A/C!
My husband has been a real trooper. He helps with the dishes (yes, our dishwasher is still not functioning), he loves me unconditionally, prays for me about many things big and small, and is also eagerly awaiting our son’s arrival.
Baby Campbell will be here soon. Hopefully the next pregnancy update will be when our little boy bundle arrives!
by Kimberly | Jun 18, 2012 | Bible, mothering, parenting
Conway Twitty. I remember riding in the car blaring 97 Country or sitting in our trailer on the Suwannee listening to him. His voice is unmistakable. One of my favorite songs by him is “That’s My Job” about a dad to a son. I woke up singing it this morning and then as I was quoting it to the hubs this morning over breakfast, tears flowed. I knew what the post would be today.
I woke up cryin’ late at night when I was very young
I had dreamed my father had passed away and gone
my world revolved around him I couldn’t lie there anymore
so I made my way down the mirrored hall and tapped upon his door
And I said Daddy I’m so afraid how will I go on with you gone that way
Don’t wanna cry anymore so may I stay with you and he said
Chorus:
That’s my job
that’s what I do
everything I do is because of you to keep you safe with me
that’s my job you see
Later we barely got along this teenage boy and he
most of the fights it seems were over different dreams we each held for me
he wanted knowledge and learning
I wanted to fly out west
said I could make it out there if I just had the fare
I got half will you loan me the rest
and I said Daddy I’m so afraid there’s no guarentee in the plans I’ve made
and if I should fail who will pay my way back home
and he said
::CHORUS::
Every person carves his spot and fills the hole with light
and I pray some day I might light as bright as he
I woke up early one bright fall day to spread the tragic news
after all my travels I settled down within a mile or two
I make my living with words and rhyme and all this tragedy
should go into my head and out instead as bits of poetry
but I say Daddy I’m so afraid how will I go on with you gone this way
how can I come up with a song to say I love you
That’s my job
that’s what I do
everything I do is because of you to keep you safe with me
that’s my job you see
My friend, Lara, posted a convicting blog the other day about our job as parents. So, that is where I want to take this post:
The Bible has much to say about what our jobs are as parents. As E and I have both celebrated our first “Day” now and we get closer and closer to the birth of our son, we are only beginning to realize the burden and responsibility (and joy) that it is to raise a son in light of the Gospel.
Here are some Scriptures that remind us of what our job is as parents:
Colossians 3:21
Deuteronomy 6:4-9
Psalm 78:1-11
Proverbs 22:6
Of course, these are just some of the MANY that tells us what we are to do with our children, for our children. But, no where in the Bible does God, our Father, tell us to SAVE our children. We cannot. The job of our child’s salvation is not ours. The role of salvation in our children is directed by the Holy Spirit. When we get overwhelmed with the responsibility of making sure our children follow Christ one day, all we can do is:
Pray. Lead. Guide. Teach. Train.
Let’s obey what God has told us to do and leave the worrying, fretting, and salvation regeneration to the only One who is able to do so.
by Kimberly | Jun 5, 2012 | Bible, mothering, Worship
The following quote is taken from the 1689 London Baptist Confession:
And verily there is one spring and cause of the decay of religion in our day which we cannot but touch upon and earnestly urge a redress of, and that is the neglect of the worship of God in families by those to whom the charge and conduct of them is committed. May not the gross ignorance and instability of many, with the profaneness of others, be justly charged upon their parents and masters, who have not trained them up in the way wherein they ought to walk when they were young, but have neglected those frequent and solemn commands which the Lord hath laid upon them, so to catechise and instruct them that their tender years might be seasoned with the knowledge of the truth of God as revealed in the Scriptures; and also by their own omission of prayer and other duties of religion of their families, together with the ill example of their loose conversation, having, inured them first to a neglect and the contempt of all piety and religion? We know this will not excuse the blindness and wickedness of any, but certainly it will fall heavy upon those that have been thus the occasion thereof; they indeed die in their sins, but will not their blood be required of those under whose care they were, who yet permitted them to go on without warning – yea, led them into the paths of destruction? And will not the diligence of Christians with respect to the discharge of these duties in ages past rise up in judgment against and condemn many of those who would be esteemed such now?
Breakdown of the family unit in today’s society is something that not only Christians and churches worry about, but for many reasons politicians and sociologists are concerned with it as well. However, this isn’t just a problem that plagues our society today. It is a problem that for over 300 years church leaders have seen as something that needs to be addressed.
I live in a part of town that is known for some crime and general “lolly gagging” by people of all ages. This part of town is also known for single-parent homes or absent parents altogether. Latch key syndrome. Yes, this is definitely a problem and the breakdown of the family has been at least one cause, if not the leading cause, of the rise in crime among teenagers/college students. The trend continues.
I think another danger that we have to be careful of is a type of legalism. I was watching a video the other day that showed four youth getting baptized. All of them said something like this: “My parents raised me in a Christian home and we read the Bible, did Christian things, etc. But, it wasn’t until later that I accepted Christ.”
The Psalms and Proverbs talk much about delighting in the Word, meditating on the Word, etc. Deuteronomy 6 tells fathers to talk about the Word every chance you get – teaching it to your children. It is something we are commanded to do as parents. It is our main responsibility. But, we are parents cannot assume that our church going and Bible reading is going to save our children.
1. Shepherd your children. By leading home worship you are doing this very thing. Home Worship doesn’t need to be long and complex. Some ways my husband and I started doing it when we were engaged were praying together at night and reading a Bible verse at meal times. We look forward to continuing and building upon that when Baby Campbell arrives. If you have someone who can sing or play an instrument (or a YouTube video), incorporate singing into your home worship routine. Make sure the Word and the Gospel are intrigal parts of your time together and that you do it. It doesn’t have to be done every day, but some sort of schedule will help you keep doing it – habit, right?
2. Home Worship can’t save your children. In Elyse Fitzpatrick’s book Give Them Grace, she talks about rule following that would lead your children to be better Pharisees (in a negative light) than Christ-followers. The heart of your children need to be changed by a gracious God. We can’t save our children by doing more and better home worship, or demanding their obedience, or regulating their wardrobe, iPod playlist, or friends. We can give them the Word and pray for their salvation, showing them much grace and forgiveness as they are coming up in our homes.
Grace and discipline. The two go together in this thinking of home worship. We need to have discipline to do home worship with family members and show the Word of God as a permanent and prominent fixture in our home. One of the ways we are doing that as we prepare for Baby Campbell’s arrival is by adorning the nursery walls with Scripture. We also must rely on grace. We can’t possibly adhere to the true gospel and think that by us doing family worship, even every night of the week, will gain us (or our children) an audience and relationship with God – we can’t have that apart from Christ. The Gospel is D-O-N-E not D-O.
“As the years go by, more and more we realize that if our children turn out right, it is only because of amazing grace.” – Joel Beeke, Parenting by God’s Promises
