by Kimberly | Sep 20, 2014 | Bible, mothering, parenting
Failure. Usually a bad word in our family. My husband has often told me to remove it from my vocabulary. But, I think even my husband would agree with this.
I often find myself reading “mommy” blogs or parenting blogs or asking friends how to discipline or instruct their toddlers. I know families that have all boys in them (or mostly boys) and I would love to go on vacation with them just to see their family in action for a week or so. I know every family is different and every parents parents differently.
But, there is one area that I am a complete failure in – and I thought I’d be open and honest and share it with you.
I can’t turn my child’s heart toward God. There. I said it.
And you know what…neither can you.
Now, please hear me out.
I can teach my boys Bible verses, read them Bible stories, tell them about the gospel and how Jesus wants us to obey him and make wise decisions. I can hug on my boys and give them lots of kisses and show them affection: before, during, and after they need to be disciplined. I can love my husband and help them to have see a marriage that is striving to have the Gospel at the center.
I can put people in their lives that will help influence them to be more like God. I can tell them how to share and be kind and not push and shove and don’t through your cereal on the floor and don’t kick your brother and don’t bite. I can tell them not to run in the parking lot and hold my hand and all of it.
But, what I can’t do is change their heart. I can’t make them love Jesus.
Only the Holy Spirit at the will of the Father through the sacrifice of Jesus can do that.
The Bible is clear that God is the Master of Salvation. The Bible is clear that Jesus died on the cross to save sinners. It is clear that the Holy Spirit works in the lives of believers. It is clear that everyone is a sinner (even cute little blond hair boys).
Ephesians 1:3-14:
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved. In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, which he lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight making known to us the mystery of his will, according to his purpose, which he set forth in Christ 10 as a plan for the fullness of time, to unite all things in him, things in heaven and things on earth. In him we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to the purpose of him who works all things according to the counsel of his will, so that we who were the first to hope in Christ might be to the praise of his glory. In him you also, when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation, and believed in him, were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit, who is the guarantee of our inheritance until we acquire possession of it, to the praise of his glory.
It is also clear that we as parents have responsibilities to lead them to Jesus. To show them the gospel (by word and deed). To pray for them. To discipline them. To be Jesus with skin on to them.
Proverbs 22:6 – Train up a child. It doesn’t say change their hearts for them. It says POINT THEM TO JESUS
And oh, how I need the help of the Holy Spirit to pour life into me, to help it flow out of me – so that my children will be pointed to God. And we will pray that God has saved them by His wonderful, amazing grace.
This post is to encourage you. You can’t change your child’s heart – but you can pray and show them a God who loves!
by Kimberly | Sep 20, 2014 | mothering, parenting
Sorry for the slow post week, but we had a great reason and a sad reason.
Sad: Sebastian had some medical issues that he is healing from which made for late nights and slowish recovering days.
Great: Little E Mister turned two yesterday. We were gearing up for his party and hosting friends and blowing out candles. I wanted to send this little recap to celebrate the boy!
Two years ago: wow – how much life has changed. E was born in Durham, a week late, a 3rd degree tear, infection after delivery for me, and a 4 day NICU stay for him. Thank you DUKE! That early morning totally changed our lives. From the get go e was amazing, slept through the night at 4 months and hasn’t looked back. (below photo by Erica Cooper)
Then we moved to Little Rock, AR and his first birthday was celebrated with all the many friends that had been a blessing to us during the first year in Little Rock.
In his second year of lift, he gained a baby brother and continued to grow: learning how to walk and getting teeth and learning some fun words. We said so long to our friends in Little Rock and now reside in Marietta, GA. We had a fun party with hamburgers and hot dogs, grapes, chips, and baked beans. Plenty of desserts for everyone. Early in the day we had cinnamon rolls and went to the zoo where we saw the parakeets and road the train and played in the splash pad. What a great day.
This little boy holds so much joy in all of his expressions. He is a full out little boy. We are trying to teach him that Jesus wants his heart and that we all need Jesus. He loves giving hugs and being hospitable.
Lijah Bean – we love you!
by Kimberly | Sep 8, 2014 | mothering, parenting
Motherhood, a joy, a calling, and a privilege – is also TOUGH! And I’m in the midst of it. New area (with relatively new friends), two under two – both boys, and a husband who works long hours – but is such a trooper at home and to take my many frustrated phone calls and texts and pray and encourage me throughout the day.
My boys are the most cutest (superlatives, I know) boys in the whole world. Their blond hair, big blue eyes, super long eyelashes – and their laughs, and smiles, and hugs, and giggles. Doesn’t that make all the disciplining, nights where there are 3 feedings, and saying no 100 times a day, worth it? Hmmm – of course, but it doesn’t make those days easier.
I was enjoying some hours of quiet courtesy of sleeping boys and a gracious husband and I wrote these next words. When I went to read it to my Mister I was hesitant too – not because I thought he would laugh at me, but because I don’t live this out – and he, more than anyone, knows it. But, it is the cry of my heart. And I need the Gospel every day and pushed harder and harder in on my life and my parenting – to look more like Christ in front of these littles that I call Lijah Bean and Bubba. I hope the next words are encouraging to you. Pray for the Moms you know. It’s a tough job.
The point of motherhood is not death to self.
If it was, we could be justified in our mopey days, our impatient attitudes, our temper tantrums. We could justify our need to be everywhere and do everything so we could earn the title of Super Mom.
It’s not about finding your life in your children. If so, we could warrant involving our children in everything so they could be good at what we weren’t. If so, we could boast in our children’s smiles, vocabulary, batting average, or report card.
It’s not about finding your life in all the things you multitask in – or the things you don’t. We could brag about our recipes, our photographs, or our pre-baby jeans. We could post pictures of our well-designed Anthro house that never looks like children live there.
It’s not about never doing anything you want to. We don’t have to live a slain and mopey woe-is-me life.
Instead, something I need to be daily pray for myself is that I would boast in the Gospel and die to sin so that I might life in and for and through Christ. On the days when I burn dinner, or feed my children all chocolate and junk food – I need Jesus. The days our son bites other kids in the gym child care – Jesus still died for me and loves me. On the day when I feel fat and don’t want to work out, but longingly look at the woman three treadmills away – desiring to look like her – Jesus still wants my heart.
I’ve read so many posts about you just have to die to self as a Mommy. In a way that is true – but not in its morbid-sounding worldly outlook. You can still ask for time for yourself – to feed your soul, to grab a cup of coffee, to grocery shop without toddlers eating the bananas before you pay for them, to take a walk, to exercise – to do things that refresh you – even if it is just to take a bath or have a date with your husband. These aren’t bad things.
If Motherhood isn’t just about dying to self – it must have a better end. We don’t die to self just for the sake of dying to self. We die to self and sin and flesh to live to Christ. Paul, in his letters, constantly wrote about not being the man he was but constantly fighting that battle and waging war with his flesh, but pressing on in Christ.
Motherhood – living to Christ – looks like:
Admitting when you are failing at motherhood and seeking help from other moms who have been there and done that. Not trying to put on an act like you have it all together and your kids are the poster children for all church kids.
Admitting when you need some “time off”. My Mister knows that some time off during the week does me a world of good. Writing, reading, praying, journaling, doing errands by myself, drinking unsweet tea, eating a macaron – whatever it is – as the saying goes “If momma ain’t happy”. He knows that me being refreshed is good for the whole family!
Crying out to God instead of yelling at your children. Even though I hate raised voices and I hate being yelled at myself – I find myself raising my voice at my boys – as if that’s going to do any good. I need instead to breath, pause, pray, and then speak in a manner to my boys that will glorify God.
Read the Bible in light of Motherhood. How does the Bible address teaching your children, being anxious or prideful in your spirit? The Bible has the final word on everything you could be struggling with.
He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed – 1 Peter 2.24 (This verse was suggested by my Mister for this blog – and so fitting. If we try to do motherhood, or dying to ourselves, in our own strength – that is sin and it is futile. We will fail. It we seek the Gospel and the strength of Him who died for our weak, selfish selves – than He has promised He will ever be close to us in every moment of every tempter tantrum and birthday party and first date and bicycle riding lesson.
Motherhood in light of the Gospel – is still the toughest job, the best job, the most demanding job – and only with the strength of Christ will we survive.
by Kimberly | Aug 20, 2014 | mothering, parenting, Shepherding Children
Combining two of my loves – my boys and food. What could be greater?
Usually we go go go out of the house, but when Daddy is home, we like to chill and do something fun together. So, I saw a post from a NC blogger and new that if I could talk my Mister into it, then we would be doing this. My Mister loves to be neat and not get messy, but I convinced him to put aside his neat and tidy ways to let us all have some fun and then we would dump our boys into the bath! So, an adventurous morning we had!
My boys are all boys – which obviously that morning didn’t involve finger painting. What did they do? They headed straight for the rocks. That is all they cared about. So, bring on more rocks!
With this edible finger paint – you don’t get art (because it doesn’t harden) but you do get fun times in the back yard!
Items you need:
Small containers to put the finger paint in (I used tupperware small square containers)
Sweetened condensed milk
Food coloring
Newspaper or tarp of some sort
Diapered kids (better than ruining clothes)
Spoon
I poured some of the condensed milk in each of the container and put in some food coloring into each one, stirring it up, and gave each boy his own containers so there would be no fighting over them. That helped.
Then we laid out newspaper on our back porch (read slab of concrete) and stood back to see what would happen? Neither of them went for it. I helped BabyBach a little but Elibuddy was definitely more interested in the rocks.
So, what do we do with the extra? We are giving it to our neighbor who has two little girls. She said they love to color.
This can be a great way to get to know your neighbors who have young ones. Just bring them all to the back yard and let the silliness begin!
Then we just took their diapered little selves straight to the tub and gave them a long soak and scrub.
So – how do I think about this as shepherding my boys: God is a beautiful creator and has given us many things to enjoy : finger paint and rocks! Let them get messy, be creative, and have fun. Its a way we were created to worship!
by Kimberly | Jun 15, 2014 | mothering, parenting
Father’s Day is a beautiful tradition. In our world today, most fathers (especially the ones we see on the news and television and movies) are portrayed as worthless, deadbeats, sarcastic, drunk, mean to their wives, lazy, jobless, etc. That is not the type of Dad I want to show my sons. I’m glad I was blessed with an amazing husband who shows them what being a great dad is!
But, as a Mom to two boys – what can I do to really help them grasp on to what a Dad, a godly Dad, should be like? My parents were in town and opted to keep our younger and I took the Eli buddy along with me to run errands. I took this opportunity to start a tradition I will call Future Daddy Dates.
Here is what I did: I took my Buddy to McD’s and we sat and had a conversation about Daddies. Really simple. Not expensive. And being that he is only 21 months, not a long time. But one word it definitely was: Intentional.
1. Talk about who God has called him as a Daddy to be. Of course, I don’t know if Little e will ever be a daddy. He may never get married or have biological or adoptive children, but that is our prayer. So, I went through three basic characteristics of what a Daddy/Husband should be: protector, provider, and leader. He should protect his children as best he can from the harm of the world and teach him how to love his protective care – while also teaching his children to protect themselves. He should provide for his children. This means working a job, whatever it takes to provide for their needs. He should also lead his children. This means teaching them about God, leading in humility and service, and leading their home. The way I taught Little e about these things at McD’s was to give him examples of what his daddy does. Like hold his hand when crossing the street. Like working every day so we have food on the table. Like praying before meals and orchestrating Family Worship time and taking us to church.
2. I pointed out good daddy qualities I already see in him (even though he’s not even 2 yet). For Little e, I told him how wonderful it is that he is joyful, funny, and hospitable. These three traits are important for Daddies to have. He is joyful – most of the time with a smile on his face – a smile that is contagious. Funny – oh this life is hard and needs to have laughter in it. Hospitable – he makes other people feel welcome and shares toys. These base traits are great to have and will come in handy as he grows up.
3. I told him about his Heavenly Father. Little e is cute and funny – but he is a sinner. He was born a sinner – in need of a Savior. And He has a Father of Lights – giver of good gifts – who doesn’t change but sent Jesus to pay the price for his sins. He is a God who will listen to his prayers and protect him at all times.
How are you raising your sons to be godly men? Invest intentionally in their little lives. You have an important role in their lives as their mother. Use it for the sake of the gospel.
by Kimberly | Feb 28, 2014 | mothering, photo shoot
Mother’s Day is quickly approaching. And what Mom wouldn’t want an evening to get a pampering package and have a photo shoot done? To get clothes on that aren’t spit up on, dusty from cleaning the base boards, or have grass stains from cheering for their favorite baseball players? Or maybe grease stains for cooking aren’t really her thing?
What better gift than a photo package? In the month of April and May, I have 4 slots for your favorite mother to get pampered.
She’ll receive:
An hour photo shoot on location of her choice (in Little Rock)
3 printed photos of her choice
CD with 20 edited photos
A gift bag featuring some local Arkansas goodies that will help her feel pampered and special.
Flowers.
Cost?
$60 for everything listed above.
Are you in? Do you want to get this for your wife/mother of your children? Do you want to ask for this from your husband?
As a mommy of two young ones myself, I look forward to making you feel special as a Mommy with beautiful photos and some extra-special goodies.
Email me @ kimddavidson@gmail.com or on social media
