by Kimberly | Nov 11, 2013 | mothering, Quotes, Uncategorized
Facebook has a way of dictating our lives, don’t you think? Or any other social media for that matter. At least in the month of November, that happens to be a good thing. More and more people are choosing to be thankful for 30 things during this month, and putting it on facebook helps them recount all the things and people they are thankful for. Even though I am not taking part in those postings, I did have a word of wisdom spoken to me the other day that I thought I would share.
As my MIL and I were heading toward a women’s event at our church this past weekend, she said how thankful she was to even get to be here to hold her grandsons even if they did cry or get up in the middle of the night or she had to change their diapers (which all of them happened a lot). That was so convicting for me.
I know I had said I was thankful the delivery went well and that I had friends to help. And I know I said how cute the boys were. But, had I thanked God aloud that I get to be their Mommy? Not that I recall.
When hard times or periods of sleepless nights or trials come into your life – do you remember to thank God for that? How do you thank God – every day – not just while sitting around the Thanksgiving table?
“Prayer in the name of Christ ends with a calm and joyous Amen; for Jesus Himself is the Amen of God, in whom all promises and gifts of God are sealed.” – Saphir
by Kimberly | Oct 3, 2013 | 31days, mothering, Quotes, Women
“Frumpy is not a fashion statement…” – Jodi Bryson, MomLogic
Note: This blog does not apply in the same way to every woman. Maybe, if you are married, as what your husband likes and doesn’t like you to wear – and try to please him in that simple way. If you are running around with toddlers all day, you won’t wear dresses. I get that. Feminine is of course more than outward appearance, that is why I put the 1 Peter verse.
In more than one way has my husband had a positive impact on my life. As we come up on our two year anniversary (more on that next week), I’ve seen some changes in me because of him. One of them is: I don’t wear t-shirts anymore. Yes, ok – I’ve still got some and I’d like to pair that down’ to 8 – only to wear them to work out in when he isn’t around. He doesn’t usually say much about what I can and can’t wear. His only stipulations is that it is modest and not a t-shirt (you know the kind you get for a youth outing, camp staff, church bowling leagues, or running 5k races). He declares them to be mostly unfeminine (on me) and looking better on guys than not. The only reason I keep them around is for cleaning the house (hard scrubbing days) and working out – when he is not around. I can’t seem to pull myself or our budget to buy Lululemon workout wear (though I would love to have some).
As I near the end of my second pregnancy in as many years, I look so forward to getting out of maternity clothes and getting to wear the clothes that normally hang in my closet. Most of my maternity clothes have been given to me, which has been very gracious – but only a handful of them do I love and that included 2-3 things that I’ve actually bought. I don’t foresee some of my frumpy wear coming back into my wardrobe anytime soon (unless its the occasional hoodie just around the house).
I was talking with a friend yesterday and she asked me what some favorites are in my closet since I don’t tend to go trendy – I said classics. Like Ann Taylor A-line skirts that you can “Trend up” with a different shirt, shoes, and accessories (which I love). Or just a simple pair of jeans that you can also wear with new flats, booties, or a long cardigan and/or eternity scarf and it would be perfect for this fall. I look forward to when my feet get back to normal size so I can wear my black booties that I bought the year the Mister and I met. I look forward to being able to wear my fave jewelry set: my wedding rings.
I’m definitely not saying you have to break the bank for new clothes every season or dress to the hilt to take care of toddlers. But…
“Do not let your adorning be external – the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear – but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit.” – 1 Peter 3:3-4
That doesn’t mean you have to forgo style and fashion all together. Not as a woman, a wife, or a mom.
Here are some blogs I read for style:
JessLC
Lauren Elizabeth
With each of these, I take what I see, make it my own (and modest), and go from there. And we don’t have a lot of money to spend on clothes, so I love good sales. Believe me, most of your husbands would like to see their wives with their hair done, makeup on, and clothes other than moomoos and yoga pants (which are two staples for me around the house when pregnant). Bring on the non-maternity clothes!
by Kimberly | Oct 1, 2013 | mothering, parenting, Uncategorized
Motherhood is a crazy race that many of us women run daily – with the bottles, diapers, car-pooling, homeschooling (if that’s your thing), soccer practice, ballet, etc. It is so easy for us to compare our lives with others and realize we either are better or that we don’t quite measure up. Here is a little bit of what I’m reading, listening to, and learning about this dangerous cycle.
I was reading this morning in Glimpses of Grace by Gloria Furman. My husband later asked me what I read in it that was encouraging me. I had to struggle not to compare myself with others or be sarcastic (which he appreciated) and I told him about these two dangers she points out:
1. I’m a terrible housewife (pg 31). Those days when I’m giving in to laziness, playing too many candy crush saga games, or right now when I have more legitimate excuses like contractions or exhaustion from being three weeks from my due date, I usually complain like this when the Mister arrives home: “I didn’t get this done. But, someone else would have had a 4 course meal on the table, all the laundry done, and the kids dressed in new outfits.” Or it would be something like, “Love, I’ve been exhausted all day – only one load of laundry got done.” My tendency is to compare myself with others when I want to hide my own sinful habits and ask for sympathy instead.
2. I’m an amazing housewife (pg 32). Honestly, I don’t fall into this category that much right now. Because I don’t have it down. I think this tendency will come when I lose this baby weight (from two back to back babies), have perfect stylish clothes on, have my schedule down, don’t cry very much, hormones are back to normal, and cook healthy foods for myself and others. But, I know so many others who do have this tendency. One of the ways I do see myself doing this is Sunday after Sunday I don’t ever see Little Mister’s nursery number put up on the screen. I seem to take pride in the fact that he is such a good toddler in the nursery.
Both of them are pride – and both have them need to be put to death by the blood of Jesus on the cross.
And here is where we fall short: not only do we compare ourselves with other moms, but we also compare ourselves in our place in the gospel story. That is how the connection came to me this morning. We often look at our lives and our homes/jobs/ministries and compare them with others and see that we don’t struggle with sin near as much as ______ does.
As I was driving to a park to walk this morning with Little Buddy, I replayed my friend Daniel Renstrom’s Amazing Love (on Jesus Wants My Heart, a stellar family worship album). Such a conviction of sin:
No condemnation now I dread
Jesus and all in Him is mine
Alive in Him, my living head
And clothed in righteousness divine
Bold I approach the eternal throne
And claim the crown through Christ my own
No matter the size of the crown that is mine when I get to heaven – it won’t be because of anything I’ve done. It will be because of the amazing love with Christ lavished on me. I didn’t (and still don’t) deserve anything of his merit or grace. He is gracious to me beyond anything I could ever do to deserve his love. I am in the same boat with all the people that I compare myself to.
As part of Mister’s prayer this morning as we started our day was a sweet sentiment of the love that Little Buddy will have for me as he gets older – that he won’t compare me with other moms, etc. I love that sentiment, but know that it is somewhat unrealistic. I compared my mom to other moms all the time – not that it was fair or right, but that’s what my sinful heart did. I pray that I can be the Mom that not only my two little buddy’s need – but one that will find my only boast in the Gospel of Jesus.
by Kimberly | Jun 13, 2013 | mothering
So, last week I wrote a post that got the most hits ever on this blog about struggling with being a mom.
I wanted to do a follow-up to it, so I wouldn’t leave you hanging. The last of that blog says to fight for joy. How do you fight for joy when you are not liking where God has you in life?
Here are some of things I do – I hope you find them encouraging. And please, let me know how you fight for joy!
1. Pray. And I’m not going to be super spiritual and say that I do that first – but sometimes I do – even if it is a plea to be patient! Or to be gentle! God is faithful to hear our prayers! Pray!
2. Talk to your husband. Especially if you are a mom, you need to have an open communication with your spouse. Was is an easy conversation with my Sweet Mister when I read him that blog I wrote – no. It wasn’t easy for him to hear. But, it was so good for him to know. He is a great listener. We talked through some things – and believer, this pregnant mamma was crying – but it was good.
3. Have friends you can be real with and won’t just give you Bible verses and tell you to get over it. Friends and Christian community is vital to being a mom. Friends who will listen to you and share their struggles as well and pray with you and tell you that you aren’t losing your mind is something you need. Be transparent. And I hope you have a church body or friends that won’t judge you for being transparent. Some friends in churches around the country have said they don’t have that. A former pastor has a chart that talks about counseling church members. He says when they are going through a hard time – the church’s response is to comfort and console – not admonish. Now, there is a time for admonishment – but most of the time people get that timing wrong.
4. Get in the Word. If you are struggling – a great place to go is Psalms. The Psalms is a real, gentle, transparent book. And the Word will admonish – but the Word will also encourage and teach.
5. Choose Joy. I love the Nancy Leigh DeMoss titles Choosing Gratitude. It is an amazing find – especially if you are going through a difficult time. The afternoon I wrote the previous blog post was a good time for me to mentally count my blessings: Elijah, Eric, being a SAHM, having a cute little boy with watery-blue eyes and his daddy’s fine hair. Whatever you are struggling with – count your blessings in that area. It will change your mind about the situation!
6. Take some time off! I’m blessed to be around folks and my husband who will take Eli and give me a morning off. I love it. But, also, having that morning off makes me realize that I love my son and I love being around him. Call a friend, your mother, a pastor’s wife, somebody! A mental break is great for any mom!
7. Do something that takes your mind off of your struggles. For me, it is writing. If I want something mindless to do – then I want to play a game on the iPad. But, I usually like to sit and journal, write a blog, or write something!
8. Sometimes, even after all that, you may still struggle with the calling that has been placed on your life for being a mom. But, by the fact that you have children – you are a Mom. That is your calling! But, hope in your gospel that you’ve been given through the Cross of Christ.
What do you do that helps you when you are struggling!
by Kimberly | May 29, 2013 | marriage, mothering
We have a Tudor style home – one with large peaks on its corner As we were trying to see about getting the siding replaced this past weekend, I realized how I would never want my husband up on that roof. How dangerous would that be.
That brings new light to this Proverb: “Better to live on the corner of a roof, then to share a house with a nagging wife.”
How would you say you are in the nagging area? Nagging can be so much more than just pestering your husband to take out the trash or pick up his socks.
I’ve learned something about this this past weekend as well. My husband can sense when I am upset ( I don’t have a very good poker face), and more times than not he knows why I am down or struggling. We’ve only been married for less than two years, but he knows me well (and sometimes, that’s very scary).
But, I could have either chosen to say something about what it was that was bothering me, and therefore make him feel even worse about said subject, which we’ve had many conversations about – or I could choose to praise him and give thanks to him and shower him with blessings for everything he does for me and how godly of a husband and worship pastor and father he is.
Which do you think is better?
Nagging or praising?
I remember watching the movie classic, If a Man Answers, one in which the MIL wants her daughter to begin treating her husband like a dog to see if his behavior changes any. Most dog owners will tell you that dogs can be trained with rewards, love, scratching behind the ears, etc.
I’m not saying that is the way to go – more than likely – when you start praising your husband, you will find the things you are unhappy about will change or disappear altogether.
The Bible also tells us to speak words or encouragement to those around us, respect our husbands (nagging doesn’t fall in the respect category), and speak well of them to others. If we are constantly nagging or thinking poorly of our husbands, won’t that come out in our speech to others? However, if we are constantly loving our husbands well with our speech, then others will follow suit.
Don’t we want to encourage others to walk in love and good deeds?
And how important are the socks on the floor anyway?
by Kimberly | May 28, 2013 | mothering, parenting, writing
I’m in the middle of a prayer-writing project in Ephesians. Will hopfeully get it off to my editor by the time I find out if the next baby we have will be a boy or a girl. Exciting times.
But, also, this has proved to be a very sobering time for me. Much of Ephesians is about the dichotomy between life and death, between darkness and light, the difference between believers and unbelievers, adopted son and daughters or forever separated.
As I’ve been praying these for E – I know he is a believer so they are easier to pray with assurance that these verses of new life apply to him. As I pray for little e, I do not have that same assurance.
Mister and I can pray for our little e. We can train him up. We can desire that he be saved. But, that is all we can do. The saving comes to God. I don’t know for sure that God called and adopted our little boy before the foundations of the world. All I can do is wait and see – and live with the knowledge that all God does is good and for His own glory and live my life in such a way that it would point our son to Christ.
The proverbs are sayings of wisdom not necessarily to be taken as divine promises. And how many people do you know have sons and daughters they have raised in The Lord but they reject Christ. And how many spouses pray for their entire lives for their husbands or wives to come to know Christ, but they never do.
God is our eternal Father and sent Jesus to save some. There will be some in hell. I can pray with all my might that our little boy will be one of the elect, chosen in Christ – but God is the knower of all things.
I will pray and live to that end.
