by Kimberly | Oct 26, 2012 | 31days, mothering, parenting
My vocabulary has definitely changed since having a baby. I used to always talk about blogs, networking, theology, family ministry, curriculum, marriage, etc.
Now, these are my latest phrases:
“I’m giving you some Mommy slobber” – when I’m going to kiss little e
“He pooped 4 times today” – talking to E about our day
“Hey sweet boy” – when I pick him up out of the rocker sleeper
“It’s time to change you…again?”
“Sssshhhhhhhhh…” – all the time when I’m trying to get him to sleep. I’ve even done this to my husband in my sleep!
by Kimberly | Sep 22, 2012 | mothering, parenting, Uncategorized
I will write a post all about the birth of our firstborn son, Elijah Levring, and thoughts about his name and what he has meant to us so far, but that will come soon. Right now, I want to think through some early lessons I have learned in motherhood:
1. I am not in control. No matter what I tried to bring on contractions (and believe me, we tried almost everything), we delivered at 40.6 wks. That was really long. I think I had been done for at least 4 weeks. But, God knew when I was done and I kept telling myself that He would not give me anything which I could not handle with Him. Then I couldn’t control the tub I had. The nurse filled it so full that when I got in, we had about 4 inches on the bathroom floor. It was like a tidal wave of water. I can’t control the weight I lose (or don’t lose). Elijah was 9.06 lbs and I lost just that much and now have gained some back – maybe I should just stay off the scale. My husband would love that! I can’t control the lights on Duke Street. Since we are having to make trips to Duke UMC every day we travel Duke Street a lot – and we always hit the lights. I can’t control his platelet levels (which is why he is in ICN).
2. Prayer is my heart language at 2am. Who else is up with me? A friend gave me Psalm 121 and that is so true. I pray when I am holding him tight and he has all the cords hooked to him. I pray as I’m singing to him. I pray as I’m writing in his journal about what kind of man I want him to grow to be. E and I pray as we are going to bed, clearly exhausted, and just sometimes mumbling our prayers – thankful that our God hears even when we don’t make sense due to exhaustion and sleep-deprivation!
3. I need to extend myself grace. I started crying this morning when the only shirt that fit that would also be good for breastfeeding was a maternity shirt. I was upset at myself when I turned off the alarm at 2am which I had set so I could pump him some milk. i just rolled over and finally got up at 6am. I was frustrated this morning when Eli wouldn’t eat very well, but ate like a champ yesterday. I needed to extend myself grace when I finally gave in to stadol and an epidural 7 cm into delivery. I need to extend myself grace! My husband extends me much of it, but I need to as well.
Thankful for all these lessons I am learning.
by Kimberly | Sep 13, 2012 | Books, mothering, parenting
The day this post goes live will be my first son’s due date. As most of you Moms know out there in blogland – due dates rarely mean anything. I think it is a ploy for women to get all worked up and having something to plan for – then it comes and goes with little fanfare. But, we shall see.
As soon as I found out we we were having a boy, I wanted to start praying specifically for him to be a man after God’s own heart. I already was praying for his daddy that he would continue to press in and love Jesus – and that is what I want our son to model as well.
The first book I was recommended has been a wonderful tool for me to use to know things to pray for Baby about: Boyhood and Beyond by Bob Schults. This is actually a book written for boys, probably between the age of 10-12. And that means it was great for this pregnant mom and her attention span. Short chapters, not difficult theology, and very practical.
Covering such topics as: wisdom, letter writing, loving your sister, obedience, serving, working hard, preparing for a wife and children and a myriad of other topics, Bob writes courageously for young boys but not treating them as kids – treating them as young men.
I want to train my son early to be man after God’s own heart. Yes, there is plenty of time to have fun, play games, etc – but I want to raise him to be a man. Teach him the characteristics of what a man should be: gentle, kind, humble, meek, protector, provider, and leader – whether it is in the classroom, at home, or on the baseball field.
“God creates boy to become men.” – pg 40
I didn’t mark a lot in this book, because I will probably be praying it again for him and then giving it to Baby when he is old enough to read it and learn from its wisdom.
What do you or how are you praying for your children?
by Kimberly | Aug 22, 2012 | parenting
I have a pair of shoes that I love. Found them at a consignment shop in Belmon, NC – a pair of JCrew Zebra peep toe 3 inch heels. They are fabulous. Heels are amazing and so are flats – gorgeous shoes that make any outfit. What about the lipstick I just found in a perfect shade of purple or that great gray knit clutch I have that goes well with any outfit I have on – any time of the year?
Should be there some boundaries in what I allow my son to wear/try on?
Read this article in Parenting magazine. I couldn’t believe it.
“Picture this: you are a single mother raising a son. You walk into your 4-year-old’s room and find him wearing his sister’s tutu and his face smeared with lipstick. What do you do:
A. Get on the phone with your pediatrician, sure that the lack of a male role model at home has caused irreparable harm
B. Tell him peach is more his color and grab your tube of Coral Sea
C. Shrug and reach for the wet wipes.
Parenting Answer: You are a fine parent if you do any of the above. Children from single parent homes are always experimenting with perceived ideas about gender.
This article frustrated me so much. Really…here are my thoughts.
1. God made you the parent to help shape your son or daughter into who they are going to be. That is a significant role. And I don’t think it is right for a boy to dress up in girly fashion, try on lipstick, or really, play with barbie dolls. I think boys struggle with their identity as it is. Just like girls do. But, fathers – step up and be a good positive manly role model for your son – starting before he is even born. Women – teach your daughter how to be feminine even when she is a baby. You have this charge! God created each of us male and female. We display the glory of God by being who God created us to be.
2. If you are a single Mom – see if there are dads in your local congregation that you can ask to help show your son what it means to be a strong man of God. Ask the children’s pastor or youth pastor if there is someone he would recommend. Single Dads – do the same thing – but with a godly woman (aunt, sister) who might mentor your daughter on what it means to be feminine.
3. Don’t feel like a failure. If I catch baby trying on my heels or lipstick. I may laugh then tell him that those are not things that he is to wear. Then I’ll go grab his daddy’s cologne and spray it on him, put a tie around his neck, or maybe put his ball cap on his tiny little head. Much grace is needed in parenting – we don’t need gender bending.
I’m not talking about teaching your son how to cook or make a bed, or teaching your daughter how to change the oil in her car. These are life skills that each person needs (and I still don’t know how to change the oil in my car). I’m talking about gender-specific activities or apparel. Lipstick, dresses, soldier play, guns, etc.
The one part I liked about the Parenting article: “Parents are a key influence!” Will you be an influence for biblical masculinity and femininity – that hopefully will give them rich insights into the Gospel of Jesus Christ – or will you allow you children to determine their “preference” in who they want to be.
Photo: These aren’t the shoes I’m referring to in the post, but aren’t they gorgous. I saw them in an NYC store front while we were on our honeymoon. Fab.U.Lous!
Two books to recommend on this topic: Boyhood and Beyond by Bob Schulz and Girl Talk by The Mahaney Family and this link by Randy Stinson
by Kimberly | Jun 18, 2012 | Bible, mothering, parenting
Conway Twitty. I remember riding in the car blaring 97 Country or sitting in our trailer on the Suwannee listening to him. His voice is unmistakable. One of my favorite songs by him is “That’s My Job” about a dad to a son. I woke up singing it this morning and then as I was quoting it to the hubs this morning over breakfast, tears flowed. I knew what the post would be today.
I woke up cryin’ late at night when I was very young
I had dreamed my father had passed away and gone
my world revolved around him I couldn’t lie there anymore
so I made my way down the mirrored hall and tapped upon his door
And I said Daddy I’m so afraid how will I go on with you gone that way
Don’t wanna cry anymore so may I stay with you and he said
Chorus:
That’s my job
that’s what I do
everything I do is because of you to keep you safe with me
that’s my job you see
Later we barely got along this teenage boy and he
most of the fights it seems were over different dreams we each held for me
he wanted knowledge and learning
I wanted to fly out west
said I could make it out there if I just had the fare
I got half will you loan me the rest
and I said Daddy I’m so afraid there’s no guarentee in the plans I’ve made
and if I should fail who will pay my way back home
and he said
::CHORUS::
Every person carves his spot and fills the hole with light
and I pray some day I might light as bright as he
I woke up early one bright fall day to spread the tragic news
after all my travels I settled down within a mile or two
I make my living with words and rhyme and all this tragedy
should go into my head and out instead as bits of poetry
but I say Daddy I’m so afraid how will I go on with you gone this way
how can I come up with a song to say I love you
That’s my job
that’s what I do
everything I do is because of you to keep you safe with me
that’s my job you see
My friend, Lara, posted a convicting blog the other day about our job as parents. So, that is where I want to take this post:
The Bible has much to say about what our jobs are as parents. As E and I have both celebrated our first “Day” now and we get closer and closer to the birth of our son, we are only beginning to realize the burden and responsibility (and joy) that it is to raise a son in light of the Gospel.
Here are some Scriptures that remind us of what our job is as parents:
Colossians 3:21
Deuteronomy 6:4-9
Psalm 78:1-11
Proverbs 22:6
Of course, these are just some of the MANY that tells us what we are to do with our children, for our children. But, no where in the Bible does God, our Father, tell us to SAVE our children. We cannot. The job of our child’s salvation is not ours. The role of salvation in our children is directed by the Holy Spirit. When we get overwhelmed with the responsibility of making sure our children follow Christ one day, all we can do is:
Pray. Lead. Guide. Teach. Train.
Let’s obey what God has told us to do and leave the worrying, fretting, and salvation regeneration to the only One who is able to do so.
