by Kimberly | Aug 20, 2014 | mothering, parenting, Shepherding Children
Combining two of my loves – my boys and food. What could be greater?
Usually we go go go out of the house, but when Daddy is home, we like to chill and do something fun together. So, I saw a post from a NC blogger and new that if I could talk my Mister into it, then we would be doing this. My Mister loves to be neat and not get messy, but I convinced him to put aside his neat and tidy ways to let us all have some fun and then we would dump our boys into the bath! So, an adventurous morning we had!
My boys are all boys – which obviously that morning didn’t involve finger painting. What did they do? They headed straight for the rocks. That is all they cared about. So, bring on more rocks!
With this edible finger paint – you don’t get art (because it doesn’t harden) but you do get fun times in the back yard!
Items you need:
Small containers to put the finger paint in (I used tupperware small square containers)
Sweetened condensed milk
Food coloring
Newspaper or tarp of some sort
Diapered kids (better than ruining clothes)
Spoon
I poured some of the condensed milk in each of the container and put in some food coloring into each one, stirring it up, and gave each boy his own containers so there would be no fighting over them. That helped.
Then we laid out newspaper on our back porch (read slab of concrete) and stood back to see what would happen? Neither of them went for it. I helped BabyBach a little but Elibuddy was definitely more interested in the rocks.
So, what do we do with the extra? We are giving it to our neighbor who has two little girls. She said they love to color.
This can be a great way to get to know your neighbors who have young ones. Just bring them all to the back yard and let the silliness begin!
Then we just took their diapered little selves straight to the tub and gave them a long soak and scrub.
So – how do I think about this as shepherding my boys: God is a beautiful creator and has given us many things to enjoy : finger paint and rocks! Let them get messy, be creative, and have fun. Its a way we were created to worship!
by Kimberly | Jun 15, 2014 | mothering, parenting
Father’s Day is a beautiful tradition. In our world today, most fathers (especially the ones we see on the news and television and movies) are portrayed as worthless, deadbeats, sarcastic, drunk, mean to their wives, lazy, jobless, etc. That is not the type of Dad I want to show my sons. I’m glad I was blessed with an amazing husband who shows them what being a great dad is!
But, as a Mom to two boys – what can I do to really help them grasp on to what a Dad, a godly Dad, should be like? My parents were in town and opted to keep our younger and I took the Eli buddy along with me to run errands. I took this opportunity to start a tradition I will call Future Daddy Dates.
Here is what I did: I took my Buddy to McD’s and we sat and had a conversation about Daddies. Really simple. Not expensive. And being that he is only 21 months, not a long time. But one word it definitely was: Intentional.
1. Talk about who God has called him as a Daddy to be. Of course, I don’t know if Little e will ever be a daddy. He may never get married or have biological or adoptive children, but that is our prayer. So, I went through three basic characteristics of what a Daddy/Husband should be: protector, provider, and leader. He should protect his children as best he can from the harm of the world and teach him how to love his protective care – while also teaching his children to protect themselves. He should provide for his children. This means working a job, whatever it takes to provide for their needs. He should also lead his children. This means teaching them about God, leading in humility and service, and leading their home. The way I taught Little e about these things at McD’s was to give him examples of what his daddy does. Like hold his hand when crossing the street. Like working every day so we have food on the table. Like praying before meals and orchestrating Family Worship time and taking us to church.
2. I pointed out good daddy qualities I already see in him (even though he’s not even 2 yet). For Little e, I told him how wonderful it is that he is joyful, funny, and hospitable. These three traits are important for Daddies to have. He is joyful – most of the time with a smile on his face – a smile that is contagious. Funny – oh this life is hard and needs to have laughter in it. Hospitable – he makes other people feel welcome and shares toys. These base traits are great to have and will come in handy as he grows up.
3. I told him about his Heavenly Father. Little e is cute and funny – but he is a sinner. He was born a sinner – in need of a Savior. And He has a Father of Lights – giver of good gifts – who doesn’t change but sent Jesus to pay the price for his sins. He is a God who will listen to his prayers and protect him at all times.
How are you raising your sons to be godly men? Invest intentionally in their little lives. You have an important role in their lives as their mother. Use it for the sake of the gospel.
by Kimberly | Feb 19, 2014 | mothering, parenting
Freedom in Christ – to Christ, really – is a major theme in my devotional life this year. I’ve seen God bring it to my attention time and time again. Even as I was reading in 1 John this morning and thinking through some of Kimm Crandall’s book Christ in the Chaos, the theme came to the forefront. So, I wanted to talk about freedom from something – the Mommy Laws.
As a relatively new mom (I have two under 18 months), these laws are something that are new to me personally, but not something I was completely oblivious to before I became a mom. You may be asking yourself, “What are the ‘Mommy Laws’?” There may not be a written code organized by any governing authority, but there are many unwritten laws that change from community to community, family heritage to family heritage, and mommy to mommy. First let me say, the Mommy Laws I am talking about are not in the Bible. They are not infallible or inerrant. The Bible talks about the privileges of being a Mommy and how we are to point our children to Christ.
Here are a few of the ideas that can be construed as Mommy Laws – but even though you may not struggle with any of these, I’m sure you have some of your own:
Diapers will only last until your child is potty-trained. Do you cloth diaper or use disposable diapers? Does it really cost less to do one or the other, or do you do it based on convenience or how much you want to protect the environment? In some cultures and communities, what a mom decides on this one topic can allow her to be included or excluded in some play groups.
What you feed your child is not the most important thing. Breastfeeding works for some and not for others. But, whether you use the breast or the bottle or a little bit of both or when you start feeding table food and if it’s organic or grain fed or local – doesn’t matter. It is choice. Yes you do need to think about what you give your child to eat because all we eat or drink should be done to the glory of God.
Education is a choice. I know of a pastor and his family who decide each year, based on the life of their family and the personality and needs of each individual child, what schooling they will do that year. There are some Christian cultures that will not let you be a part of it unless you homeschool. There is wisdom in knowing what schooling option will be best for your family. You can still practice the art and obedience of Deuteronomy 6 no matter what schooling option you choose.
Skinny Jeans will go out of style. You don’t have to wake up every day and look like you stepped out of a magazine. You don’t have to lose all your baby weight by your child’s first birthday. You don’t have to take selfies with your hair all done and makeup perfectly applied – or feel horrible that you don’t do that. Neither of these make you a better mom.
SAHM is not a bad word. But, being a working Mom is ok now too. I know many moms who work outside the home and still make their families their top priority. I know women in the homes all day who don’t make their families their top priority. The Bible is not explicit as to what to do. The only thing it is clear on is that Mothers and wives are to make their homes and their families their top priority. Side note: the Bible is clear that one of the main priorities of the husband is to provide for his family. But, there may be seasons that the wife has to work part time or even full time for a season in extreme circumstances. God will give you family and you must be led of the Holy Spirit in these matters. Counsel from elders or other godly friends will spur you on to love and good deeds.
Ok, still some of these Mommy Laws may not make sense. Allow me to broaden it. The Mommy Laws are anything you feel you must do, pressures put on you from external societal norms or internal focus, that says, “If I do ______, then I will be a good Mom.” It is a form of legalism and idolatry. Neither of which belong in a Christian’s life.
So, how do we break our bondage to sin with strict adherence to these Mommy Laws? The good news is that the bondage has already been eternal won for us. Christ, with his perfect life, death on the cross, and miraculous resurrection, paid the penalty to free us from the captivity to sin. Now, we must stand firm in that, believe God in what He says, and live life according to our newfound freedom.
Worship. Sit down and pray about being a mommy. Meditate and praise that God gave you the ability and this time to be your child’s mother and how much of an amazing ministry and privilege that you have. Confess your weakness and how prone you are to living in bondage to these Mommy Laws. Pour out your heart to the Lord who made you and knows you. He knows what’s in your heart anyway, but it is so good to hear yourself say it (or see it written).
Make a list. What are the Mommy Laws that you adhere to? What laws are you in bondage to? What do you cling to that makes you think you a better mommy than those who don’t do as you do?
Pray over that list. I would encourage you to sit down with your husband and ask him about this list. Does he notice that you feel horrible if your list is not met at the end of each day, or does he notice a sense of failure in his bride? It would be totally freeing to rip up your list. Not throw out everything, but pray that the Lord would right your heart in relation to the items or laws on that list. The very last verse in the little letter of 1 John says “keep yourselves from idols.” This comes after many verses about what identifies us as true children of God. Obviously, we are commanded not to have idols as believers. These Mommy Laws are a form of legalism, which is idolatry. Something we do is going to make us a better person, a better mommy, make my child a better child, or earn better standing in my church, culture, or even to God himself. Idolatry is a matter of the heart.
Claim your freedom. After you have talked with God, talked with your husband, even gotten friends to hold you accountable to the laws on your list… Friend – claim your freedom. Believe God when he says that he freed you from working for your salvation. Nothing you can do or don’t do will earn you a better standing before His throne. And it shouldn’t matter in your community either. In Colossians 2 Paul starts talking about the fact that we are alive to Christ – but then follows it by commanding the Colossian believers not to let anyone disqualify them by secondary issues.
These Mommy Laws are most definitely secondary issues. These are not gospel issues.
Here are ways to live in truth:
Believe God that he sent Jesus to free you from the bondage to these.
In the midst of your chaos, choose to fight the lies of Satan with the Sword of the Spirit which is the Word of God – knowing that your position in Christ as a Sister, a daughter of the Most High King, is not determined by your adherence to your list of Mommy Laws.
Encourage others who are in a similar situation as you are. Don’t put outrageous expectations on her but encourage her to love the Word, seek Jesus, and do what she can to love her family and her Jesus.
Encourage Moms-to-be. I love Moms on either end of the spectrum regarding the “Mommy Laws” I talked about above. So, talk about your story, share ideas with expectant moms, especially if they ask, but don’t force your way of life on her. Encourage her creativity and freedom in Christ to love her children well.
Don’t compare. I spend a lot of time on social media. Looking at Instagram and Pinterest and other blogs will mostly encourage creativity and foster a desire to do and be and live and love. But there are some days that it fosters a discontent heart. On those days, I don’t throw out the computer or quit doing anything with social media. I pray. I write. I look into the face of my husband and little boys and see their blue eyes and dimples staring back at me…and love them and pray for God to work in my heart. Thankful on those days for verses like 1 John 3.20, “For whenever our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart!” Thankful that He knows my heart and He is the only one who can change my heart in regard to these Mommy Laws.
Sing and worship and stand in freedom. God is not the Mommy Law police, and neither are we.
by Kimberly | Jan 30, 2014 | mothering, parenting, Uncategorized
This is where I am. Starting to train up our older son, who is almost 17months and already has the “no” word down pat! Definitely his favorite word. Trying to change it to godlfish, chicken nugget, yes, or something better than no. Our conversations with our older right now are consisting of “God says to honor our father and mother. And we don’t talk to our mommy and daddy that way” – those conversations don’t seem to be getting anywhere with him – but hopefully one day they will.
One story from my childhood…I grew up attending a Christian school. And I loved Sweet Valley High books in the 6th grade. It was the thing to read in the fiction area. I think I had most of them – and never know what happened to all of them. I had loaned one of the books to a friend, who took it home and was reading it at night by flashlight as to hide it from her parents. Her mom found it, called the school, and I got in trouble. My punishment…to write out Scripture. I would tell you what Scriptures, but I don’t remember what they were. I think I mainly saw it as punishment then.
As I’ve come into being a parent, and shepherding our boys’ hearts with my husband, we definitely want our boys to have hearts that are soft to the Spirit. We want the Word to break the stony grounds of their hearts and give them hearts that desire to please The Lord, love Him, and make Him known.
How we discipline and parent has an eternal impact. Here is how.
If we think that just because we quote Scripture in our home, make them memorize the Word, even for punishment, or memorize Scripture at the table or in family worship – that our children are going to automatically love the Word and have hearts that obey it…we are wrong.
The Pharisees in the NT knew the law and obeyed it – but their hearts were far from them. There are many who know the right words to say but inside they have cold hearts toward the gospel.
Here may be a better way to parent with the soul of your child in mind:
As you have the need to discipline:
1. Pray for yourself as you need to discipline your child. Pray that your heart would be one of correction for the purpose of training in the fear of The Lord and not out of anger, inconvenience, etc. Your heart matters.
2. Identify the heart of the problem. That may mean you first have to stop the outward disobedience, but there is always a heart problem.
3. Know verses that correspond to these heart problems. Whatever heart problem there is – Scripture has an answer! The Gospel is the answer!
4. Tell them those verses with a humble heart. Be humble before your kids. We are all sinners. That will go a long way with your children.
5. Encourage them to learn these Scriptures – and you learn them along with them. That will encourage them that they are not alone in their sin journey – and journey in sanctification.
6. If your children have received Christ – talk to them about how as believers our desire should be to grow in godliness and have hearts that please The Lord. Not out of have-to but out of want-to.
7. Pray for your children. Pray, aloud, in front of them, that the Spirit would soften their hearts towards the Gospel. Pray they would come to serve God as The Lord of their life and that they would obey His Word.
8. Pray for behavior change – but more importantly heart change. And know and rest in the fact that you can’t do anything about the heart change. That is all the fabulous work of the Perfect Holy Spirit.
And in that, as parents and as sinners, we can rest!
by Kimberly | Dec 11, 2013 | parenting
Or take one of the most popular fast food chains around, Chik-fil-A. Every time you get something from there you are left with “My pleasure!”. But, I know from personal experience sometimes the My Pleasure doesn’t come with a smile or even eye contact.
So, what are some ways we can instill this happy heart of reception into our children?
1. Encourage them to say thank you when they receive something.
2. Get them in the habit of writing thank you cards. Even before they can write, you can have them draw pictures or color something to send in a thank you card.
3. Say grace before each meal. Not the trite prayers that we often say, but maybe before each meal ask them what they are thankful today. Then, express that to the one who gives us all things by His good hand.
4. Interest them in the Gospel. Remind them that there is nothing they have that didn’t come from God and through Jesus Christ. Philippians 4 and Romans 8 are great places to start, Psalm 96 – so many ways you can teach your children about this!
“But thanks be to God for His indescribable gift!”
Especially at the holiday time, both Thanksgiving and Christmas – with gifts and goodies constantly being given and received, teach them from a young age how to have a grateful heart!
by Kimberly | Dec 6, 2013 | Books, Kids r Readers 2, parenting
I grew up totally loving the Berenstain Bears and all their lovely adventures. And now that I’m a parent I would love to share these tales with my boys and have them love them too!
Grownups do have money worries – with insurance, mortgages, health coverage, gifts, food, diapers, etc. But, how do we teach our children about money and possessions and what God has to say about them?
In this children’s book Papa and Mama bear notice that their cubs didn’t make good choices when it came to the money that they had and how they used it. They spent it on frivolous items at the mall. Fleeting joys. They teach about saving for a rainy day – but that isn’t exactly what the Bible teaches us. The cubs don’t keep the money for themselves, they instead give it to Papa Bear so he won’t have to worry. Generosity is a loving characteristic.
Here are some teaching points about money when reading this book to your children:
1. God is more concerned with our eternity than our financial status. Ecc 5.10
2. We are not to be OVERLY concerned and worried with the cares of this world. Matthew 6.24, 31-33, Hebrews 13.5
3. Our money is not meant to be hoarded, but spent wisely and given generously. Deut 15.10, Deut 16.17, Luke 6.38, 2 Cor 9.6-8
4. God gets the first of everything. Prov 3.9-10
5. The gospel is more than money because you can’t take money with you into eternity. 1 Tim 6-7-10
6. God owns everything. Our lives are about stewardship. 1 Chron 29.14-17
