by Kimberly | Jun 6, 2012 | Uncategorized, Women
This past Sunday a new “Sunday School” class started at my church on biblical manhood and womanhood. One of the elders who is teaching the class introduced everyone to the Danvers Statement. You may be wondering what the Danvers Statement is and what in the world it has to do with your life. You can read it here:
http://www.swbts.edu/index.cfm?pageid=1727
Since biblical gender roles is something I have been passionate about since somtime in college, I thought I would take this time to walk through the Danvers Statement. Not for theological purposes, because Bruce Ware and Wayne Grudem do such a thorough job of defining terms and basing them on biblical passages. But, for women in the pew, who didn’t go to seminary, or those who did go to seminary or teach even – how do we put these 10 principles into practice.
1. Both Adam and Eve were created in God’s image, equal before God as persons and distinct in their manhood and womanhood (Genesis 1:26-27; 2:18)
These verses and this statement (made in 1987) were made long before the political battlew over the definition of marriage. Our base for politics should be the word of God. Since the Word of God is the very breath of God, therefore perfect and never changing (2 Tim 3:16-17, Psalm 19), it should determine our decisions on every matter of life and politics.
The joke heard for decades now is “God created Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve.” I think that is a crude way of saying the truth. God had a permanent purpose and grand design in how He perfectly created and placed Adam and Eve in the garden. Adam and Eve, and all peoples procreated from them for all the generations to come, bear the image of God (imago dei) and should be treated as worthy of that. Each person bears the image of God, even those who disagree with us or treat us badly. Something inherent in their very being shows us God. He is the masterful Creator.
I like the word distinct in this first affirmation. I can’t play the role my husband has, either sexually or emotionally, in our marriage. I can’t play the role my pastors and elders have in the church I attend. God set measures in place that we are to abide by and obey for our good and His glory. But, we also have distinct roles and priviliges that men don’t – simply because we are women. What a unique pleasure it is to always feel Baby Campbell kicking in me. My husband can feel him if he is kicking or see him when he makes my belly move, but he can’t feel him all the time. That is something unique that God has designed just for women.
2. Distinctions in masculine and feminine roles are ordained by God as part of the created order, and should find an echo in every human heart. (Genesis 2:18, 21-24; 1 Cor 11:7-9; 1 Tim 2:12-14)
Two essential parts of this affirmation: when these distinctions came to be and how that should influence me today.
God is eternal and all of His Words are eternal. They never change. The principles of biblical gender were set in place when God first created Adam and Eve, he didn’t wait until after sin occurred in the Garden to set these principles in place. These distinctions, both in function and person, were foundational from the very beginning. Sin only makes living these distinctions out difficult.
There are many times when I try to urge my husband to make a decision or try to lead in our relationship. There are many times when I feel more qualified to teach a class at church because there is lack of strong male authority and teaching ability. But, as often as these thoughts or actions occur in me, the Spirit checks my Spirit with His and with the Word. There is an eagerness (praise the Lord) in me to confess those thoughts, pray for strength, and repent of any actions I might have done. If we walk in step with the Spirit we will not gratify the desires of the flesh. Oh, the flesh is so strong in women, especially Christian women when we are at daily war with the one who wants his way in our life versus the One who paid the price for our souls. Stand firm – resist the devil and he will flee from you!
3. Adam’s headship in marriage was established by God as part of the created order, and was not the result of sin. (Genesis 3:1-13, and Scriptures listed in 2.)
I love this design of marriage. I always knew I wanted this in a marriage, but never found someone who was willing to take his rightful place and lead with humility and servanthood (like Jesus) in a marraige. Being both bold and pursuing, and loving and gently. My God has been very gracious to me in my marriage. My husband lives out biblical headship and Christ-like servanthood and meekness to me every day. He prays for me, leads our marriage, is gentle with me when I need correcting, and meek in his leadership. This design is for all married men. Men, don’t give this authority up – neither lord it over your wives. Jesus lead with meekness and authority. He was gentle. He wasn’t effeminate or a tyrant. He was perfect. Women, if you see your husbands or your Christian brothers not living this way (or for single brothers, not seeing these qualities in them), pray for them. I repeatedly didn’t do this service for them, but instead I complained and belittled them, saying there were no good single men left. That was one of my biggest regrets of my single life. We are called to encourage our brothers and husbands, not belitlttle them. Those actions of belittling is the result of sin, not how God wanted us to live.
4. The Fall introduced distortions into the relationships between men and women (in the home and in the church) – for further explanation of this affirmation, see the link above) (Genesis 3:1-7, 12, 16)
Oh, how I hate sin. Sin permeates every aspect of our lives. Women want to lead in the homes and in the churches. Men either are patriachal authoritarians or weak spineless shells of real men. Many of our churches are filled with women who want men to step up and lead and few men who will take their place and lead. (I see this a lot in the music ministry of churches – where our choirs and orchestras are filled with mostly women, but our praise teams and bands are “cooler” now and include more men – haven’t figured out that one yet). Women: if you struggle with wanting to lead: pray for the desire to humbly follow your husband’s leadership and pray for him that he will lead humbly and sacrificially. Men, pray for strength to stand in the position of authority in humility and servanthood that God created you to be in.
5. Both the Old and New Testaments manifests the equally high value and dignity which God attached to the roles of both men and women (Gen 1:26-27, 2:18, Gal 3:28) and affirm the principles of male headship in the family and the covenant community (Genesis 2:18, Eph 5:21-33, 1 Tim 2:11-15).
Some believers only want to take some of God’s Word or take verses out of context. God saw to it that the the Word was kept for us to read – all of it ordained by Him and kept by Him. It is perfect. All of it. Men and women are equal in that we both stand level at the cross – we are both sinners and in equal need of a Savior. Men aren’t more worthy of salvation nor do their possess more of God or display God better solely because they are male.
This is the sticky part for some people: God’s entire Word sets up the standards for both the home and church. In God’s Word: it says that men are to be in leadership positions of teaching and authority in our churches not women. I believe this also goes for worship leading because worship leading is an authority of the Word of God and you are leading and teaching others as you direct the worship of the entire congregation. Song leading or directing a choir is something different, and then I would lean toward a championing of male leadership by way of example, not by Scriptural authority. This also has nothing to do with skill level. I’m sure there are women out there who can teach better than some of the pastors who stand in their pulpits and can sing better/play better than their worship pastors. Often when sitting in a co-ed SS class I get frustrated because of the depth, or lack thereof, of the teaching. But my role is not to teach…my role is to submit and learn and pray for growth.
This will be continued tomorrow, affirmations 6-10. How do you apply these truths to your life, both in the home and church? What are some ways you see Christians failing to live out these commandments and patterns that God has set up for His children to follow?
Be encouraged. We need the Gospel daily to live these out. Rest in Him. Pursue Him.
by Kimberly | May 31, 2012 | Books, Uncategorized, Women
Bandwagons. I don’t like them – ask my husband. So, I haven’t read any of the Twilight, Harry Potter, or Hunger Games series. So, when a friend asked me to write a blog post about 50 Shades of Grey, I said, “sure!”. I haven’t read Mary Kassian’s thoughts on this yet – but will get to it after I write my own thoughts.
I didn’t even know what I was looking for in the store, but I found it right away in my local Target store. I was truly appalled at the few bits that I read while I leaned against the store counter. I then made my way to the nearest Barnes and Noble to gather the trilogy in my hands and write this post.
I was really thinking about putting in some of those snippets but I will refrain – if I don’t want women to be reading this book, I don’t need to allow you to read it on this blog. And, I really don’t need to read those snippets again.
Here is some of the back of the book:
“When the couple embarks on a daring passionately physical affair, Ana discovers Christian Grey’s secrets and explores her own dark desires.”
Classification: Erotic Romance – Mature Audience
The tag line at the bottom: “Erotic, amusing, and deeply moving, the Fifty Shades Trilogy is a tale that will obsess you, possess you, and stay with you forever.” Really…
Obsess you: There should only be one obsession in you life if you are a believer: Christ.
Possess you: The Bible I read already declares us to be possessions of Someone: Christ. He bought us with His own blood and sanctifies us. Women: this book will not aid your sanctification process.
Stay with you Forever: That is the unfortunate part. I can’t erase what I read in this book, I can’t go back to before I read it. It will stay with me forever. It is damaging. Don’t do it.
In this book these is sex, reversed gender roles, obsession, unbiblical habits that are brought out on every page, envy, anger, lust, need I go on?
So…this one is pretty easy. Don’t read it. I don’t know what good could come out of it. Since I’ve been married, what I put in my mind has changed. Before I could watch chick flicks or read Sweet Valley High (in high school) and Christian romance novels. But, honestly, now I can’t. I love my husband too much. I don’t want to bring any outside thoughts into our bedroom. I trust him too much to do that to him. He should be the one I fanticize about – not anyone in a book or on a TV screen. (Note: some friends might know that I loved the Mentalist – mainly because of Simon Baker – I don’t watch the show anymore for this very reason.)
How do you guard your mind and thoughts and engage the culture at the same time? What do you do with non-Christian books that invade culture? Well, whether its with Sci-Fi, teen romance that is all the rage – really, adult women falling in love with vampires – how do you keep your thoughts pure?
I seldom just say NO to cultural phenomenons. I want to judge for myself. And with some reads or movies I think you can engage them with a biblical worldview and your watching of it will not do any harm. But, there are some that won’t do any good.
One song from the early 90s I often sing (just because its stuck in my head) is “Free your mind, and the rest will follow.” I know that song doesn’t have really much to do with what we are talking about today – but the problem remains. If we “free our mind” from God’s laws and mandates that are made for our good – then pretty soon the rest will follow: our heart and then our actions.
Here is some of the best of what the Bible has to say about this:
Proverbs 4:23-27: “Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life. Put away from you crooked speech, and put devious talk far from you. Let your eyes look directly forward, and your gaze be straight before you. Ponder the path of your feet; then all your ways will be sure. Do not swerve to the right or to the left; turn your foot away from evil.”
Ladies: keep your eyes, feet, mind, and bodies pure. 50 Shades will not enable you to do that.
by Kimberly | May 30, 2012 | Uncategorized
Mercy Me always seems to put out stellar songs and the ones I am thinking of have solid biblical lyrics. Love it when a Christian artist can do that. Engage the culture and where people are without sacrificing the truth and depth of the lyrics. This is no less true for their new song, “The Hurt and the Healer“. Even thinking of the title reminds me of the book of Job or Paul’s prayer for the removal of the thorn.
We all face difficulties in life, in fact, Jesus says that if we are believers, we will face trouble. But, we have to take heart – for He has overcome the world (John 16:33). These difficulties may come in the form of sickness, financial troubles, relationship disagreements, forks in the road, death, etc. We never know what may come our way – but we do know the One who holds all things together. My Mom’s favorite song is I Know Who Holds Tomorrow. A favorite song I sang in high school was “Trust His Heart”. There are many songs out there that speak of hardship and knowing that God is still in control. My favorite hymn is It Is Well. There you go – another one that speaks to that truth of the sovereignty of God over all of our situations. We must claim that and believe that only with Jesus will we have peace through these storms.
The Hurt and the Healer – by Mercy Me
Why?
The question that is never far away
The healing doesn’t come from the explained
Jesus please don’t let this go in vain
You’re all I have
All that remains
So here I am
What’s left of me
Where glory meets my suffering
I’m alive
Even though a part of me has died
You take my heart and breathe it back to life
I’ve fallen into Your arms open wide
When the hurt and the healer collide
Breathe
Sometimes I feel it’s all that I can do
Pain so deep that I can hardly move
Just keep my eyes completely fixed on You
Lord take hold and pull me through
It’s the moment when humanity
Is overcome by majesty
When grace is ushered in for good
And all our scars are understood
When mercy takes its rightful place
And all these questions fade away
When out of the weakness we must bow
And hear You say “It’s over now”
Jesus come and break my fear
Awake my heart and take my tears
Find Your glory even here
When the hurt and the healer collide [x2]
I highlighted some of the lyrics above, so I thought I would expound on them:
Jesus please don’t let this go in vain – The Hubs and I are going through the book of James this year. As I re-read it almost daily, as I did with James 1 today, certain truths keep ringing loud and clear. In James 1, the outcome of the suffering (count it all joy, right?) is steadfastness, faith, crown of life, perfection and completeness. These will not come without trial. Believing that there is a plan and a purpose though to any trial you or I face is a tough faith thing. But, as it says later in James 1 – God never changes. So we must hold fast to the fact tha tHe is faithful and does all things for our good and His glory.
You take my heart and breathe it back to life – Some of you who are reading this may have just lost a loved one or your husband may be facing trials or you might be struggling with relationships or being in a place God has you for this time in your life. You might find that there are days when you would rather just not get out of bed (why does bed bring so much comfort?) Are we willing to let Jesus bring life back into our dead hearts? I’m reading through Beth Moore’s Praying God’s Word and in one of the sections she talks about the difference and the difficulties when Christians who are filled with Light are struggling with darkness. Are we willing, as believers who trust in the Sovereignty of God over all events in our lives, to let Jesus have full control and lead us where He wants to take us (or keep us?)
Pain so deep that I can hardly move – Just keep my eyes completely fixed on You – This pain can be quite debilitating at times. But, where is our gaze? Do we constantly focus on the hurt, the pain, the weariness, the exhaustion, the quietness, the numbness, the tears? Or we will able to let go and look to Jesus. I love the Fernando Ortega song, “Give me Jesus“. This speaks greatly to our needs vs our wants in what will satisfy our deepest longings.
Awake my heart and take my tears – One of my sweet friends, Jill McCloghry, one one of her early projects, wrote a song about the grace and mercy of God in how He catches our tears in a bottle (Psalm 56:8) There are some days when I don’t think I have any tears left (pregnancy). But, I know they are not wasted. I know God sees each and every one of them that fall and none of them soak my shirt and leave marks where He doesn’t see them. My husband often wipes away my tears – but my Father God who is gracious to me keeps them and knows them and will not let them be cried for nought. He is tender and merciful to His beloved sons and daughters.
You may wonder why I chose this picture to go on the top of the blog? I have this knack and desire to find half dead flowers and take its picture. It reminds me that we who were dead have been brought to life by the breath and salvation of God through Christ. It also applies here. We who are made alive may (no, will) go through suffering and at times we see no hope. But, where there is death – there is life. Jesus is that life.
I pray that no matter where you are today or what you are going through, this song/video, and this blog post have been an encouragement to you and has enabled you to fix your eyes on Christ.
by Kimberly | May 24, 2012 | Uncategorized
(Today’s post is written by a friend of mine, Bekah Mason. Thank you Bekah for filling a need I had today and so spot on as well!)
The last few weeks have been an overwhelming blur. Every facet of my life is either ending (teaching school, coaching softball, end of a ministry year at church, writing deadlines) or beginning (new semester of classes I’m taking, new writing projects, opportunities presented weekly to do more and more) simultaneously. Some projects have ended but have brought no relief to my internal stress level because deadlines for others fly past me like I’m sitting still. I just can’t get caught up and I certainly can’t get it all done.
Some seasons of life are like that. Women in every walk of life can describe a time when life has just gotten out of control. It can lead to the desire to just stop everything completely. Rest becomes our desired goal, and leisure can become our idol. But in between the two extremes of insanity and nothingness is the place the Lord has been quietly teaching me about recently. I have been studying the Gospel of John along with my 9th grade Bible classes. In John 17 we find the longest recorded prayer of Jesus. The night before his crucifixion, Jesus prays for himself, he prayers for his disciples, and he prays for us.
When studying this passage, I had intended to emphasize with my students the aspect of Jesus praying for us and for the unity he desired in his followers. Nothing will speak to the heart of a 9th grade girl, I thought, like knowing Jesus prayed for her and that he prayed that she would get along with others. But on the morning we arrived at this passage, that is not the section the Holy Spirit used to pierce my heart. It was, instead, a portion of the prayer Jesus prayed for himself.
I glorified you on earth, having accomplished the work that you gave me to do.
John 17:4
That last phrase is what rang through my soul. The work that you gave me to do. For months I have been in permanent “Martha mode”, running around crazy trying to save the world and I have failed miserably. And more than once I have asked of God, “Why do you have me doing all of this if I can’t do it?” I seem to have thought that Philippians 4:13 means that I can do all things at the same time through Christ who strengthens me.
My Messiah complex has gotten in the way, and I have tried to meet every need I’ve come across, say yes to every opportunity offered to me.
The sad thing about that Messiah complex is that it deceives us into do more than even our Messiah did.
Jesus did the work the Father gave to him to do. Nothing more. Nothing less. As you read through the Gospels, you can see the “missed opportunities” in the ministry of Jesus. But when your goal is to do only the things the Father gives you to do, there are no missed opportunities.
When I am asked to do something, this is the question I meditate on before answering a request. I am committed to not taking on new projects if I haven’t finished an old project first. No more immediately answering, “I can get that done. No problem!” I’m praying through my answer instead of saying “Yes,” immediately and counting the cost later.
The problem with doing everything is that God didn’t call us to busyness. He called us to relationships. This is why Mary was doing the better thing by sitting at the feet of Jesus while Martha was working away. This is why Jesus was in conversation with his Father the night before he died instead of desperately preaching on a corner outside the Temple.
When we do only the things that the Father has given us to do, it opens the door for us to be the women he has called us to be. The emphasis of the Father is who we are, not what we do. By focusing on the question Can Do v. Called to Do? I am reminded to be in relationship with him, to invite Christ into even the smallest daily decisions of my life, and to remember that we serve him best when we serve him only in the places and ways he has called us to serve.
In the end, the lesson I am learning is this: to do God’s work in your own way is to still serve self. And God shares his glory with no other. When I try to do everything, I am setting myself up as Savior. It’s a job at which I fail miserably every time.
by Kimberly | May 21, 2012 | Uncategorized
Is this your address? 24 Failure Mode Lane. Do you live here every day of your life – or even one day? If so, if you are like me in this way, this post is for you (and me).
Most of my posts come out of my personal experiences and reflections on the gospel in light of those. The past two weekends I have dwelt on Failure Mode Lane. It seems like what I attempted I failed at and attitudes and right spirits just were not in me. I failed in what I said, what I did, attitudes, etc. Then, I would look at my poor sweet hubs and put my head on his chest, exhausted, crying, and I say, “I am such a failure. I’m dwelling in failure mode. Why can’t I do anything right?”
Eventually he would say to me, “You are about to get another word taken out of your vocab if you keep this up!” What he meant was I say certain words right now that he won’t let me say because they are not the gospel truth in my life: words like fat and failure and opinionated. These words don’t proclaim truth over my life and into my spirit. One of the ways my sweet husband leads me so well is by preaching the gospel into my life. Sometimes I get so discouraged in this time in our lives, marriage, and ministry that I can’t preach it to myself. I’d rather stay in failure land. He is there. That is why God gave him to me. He knew I would need someone to come alongside me and preach incredible words of grace to me.
I am writing this post tucked away in a mountain cabin for 5 days: reading, writing, resting. This is what I read this morning from Loving the Little Years: “A way we can do damage to ourselves is through the use of totally innocent words that we use to allow ourselves something (like failure, fat, opinionated, etc). Whatever terminology you use to allow yourself a little self-pity. Actually I may be overwhelmed, but I may not say that I am overwhelmed. The words have a real power over us. If you say it, you allow it for yourself.” (pg 41)
A pastor’s wife friend of mine quoted her husband today by saying, “”Without Christ you will work even while you are resting, and with Christ you will rest even while you are working.” You can listen to the sermon here.
So, what are your responses when you fail?
1. Stop saying it. When you fail at something, own it, then get over it. Fix it, or let it go.
2. Get help. Ask your husband or best friend or someone to hold you accountable. I remember when I was little I would get my mouth washed out with soap if I sassed my Mom or said something I shouldn’t have said. I need to think about that reaction everytime I say the word failure and fat (or fill in the blank with your nasty word you use).
3. Preach the gospel to yourself. You are not what you do. Your life is summed up by what Christ did for you on the cross. If you are at a point in life when you can’t preach the gospel to yourself – have someone else preach it to you.
You will fail at dinner (maybe burn the biscuits or the cake falls or crumbles). You will fail at loving your husband (you will use your mouth in a way that condemns him and puts him down instead of builds him up). Your house will be messy at some point (I still didn’t get the bathroom cleaned before I left this weekend). Its ok. Life will go on. Pray for grace to make it another day. Your Christ is sufficient.
As Paul claims in 2 Corinthians:
“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
(2 Corinthians 12:9-10 ESV)
by Kimberly | May 17, 2012 | food, Uncategorized
The taste of summer – at breakfast!
I went strawberry picking the other week, got about 6 lbs and was exhausted. That’s what being pregnant will do for you. Well, I had some left and they were just about to be gone (meaning, they were going bad) so I wanted to use them up. So, I woke up one morning and thought I’d look up a recipe.
I tweaked one I found on the internet and came up with these. Light and fluffy, perfect with some added berries on top and some real maple syrup. This batch made 10-12 pancakes depending on how big you want them. Enough for the hubs to have some leftovers the week I’m out of town.
Enjoy the fresh summer taste!
- 1 1/4 cup all-purpose flour
- 2 tbsp light brown sugar
- 1 1/2 tsp baking powder
- 1/4 tsp baking soda
- 1 cup buttermilk
- 1/2 cup skim milk
- 2 large eggs
- 2 tbsp canola oil
- 3/4 cups sliced strawberries
Mix dry ingredients, then wet ingredients and combine. Spray griddle pan and cook the pancakes (I used 1/4 cup to scoop out the batter) over medium heat until bubble form around the edge of the pancakes.
Enjoy warm with butter, syrup, or whipped cream, and if you are a strawberry freak like me – more strawberries!
