by Kimberly | Dec 14, 2010 | Women
Most of us are not hand models…but if you saw this video on the CBS Evening News with Katie…then you might have seen a glimpse into your own life (or my life: which I did). Here is why I say that. And please, click the video above, watch it, then come back and read below…
( I assume now that you’ve watched the video) – thank you Tim Challies by the way for pointing it out…
Here are four points (some specifically for women, some for all of us).
1. Pride. I was once told that we see the sin in others when it is a sin that we also struggle with. The glaring sin of pride is the first thing that stood out to me when I heard this woman’s conversation with Katie. This woman may have the world’s most visible hands…but she didn’t create those hands. The Creator God gave her those hands…and not once did I hear her turn around and pay compliment to Him? All creation was made for God’s glory…including hands.
2. Dismissing Responsibility/Laziness. In order to protect her hands, she can’t do many of the things that God has commanded us to do. Specifically as women we see in Titus 2 and Prov 31 many responsibilities that women/wives are to do with their hands: cook, gather material, work, provide clothing and food, take care of the household’s needs, etc. This requires use of hands. May require different things for different people, but at some point – we need to use our hands. She isn’t. She is relying on other people, and in turn, dismissing the responsbilities given to her. Do we really need our husbands, children, maids to open a can for us?
3. Fear of Failure. She is so afraid of taking off her gloves, cooking, etc because she feels that if something happens to her hands, than she will be a failure. I wonder when this obsession with her hands started? Wonder what role her parents had in this overarching theme of her life? I wonder what would happen if she broke her hand, or got a splinter, or a nail chipped…would her life be ruined? Do we NOT do things because of fear of failure or do we do the easy things because we know we will succeed and we don’t have to worry about someone doing it better? What happens when this woman ages and her hands wrinkle?
4. Wrong Dedication. I am working on a church Sunday School curriculum called Treasuring Christ. It is designed to teach students that Christ is more worth anything we can live our lives for: that God, through Christ, is all that is worth living for. He is everything. Her life is about her hands and her work. She goes about her whole life in seeking protection for her hands and a spotlight to be shown on her hands. Where is Christ? Ok, we may not be hand models – but what area of our lives is more than Christ? Is it your family? your career? Your sports? Your hobbies? Your money? What? Take inventory.
Here is the grace of Christ:
Colossians 2:6 “Therefore, as you received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in Him, rooted and built up in Him and established in the faith, just as you were taughts, abounding in thanksgiving.”
by Kimberly | Nov 9, 2010 | Books, Women
There is a really sweet couple in my life who I have had the privilege to minister with, get to know, hang out with, serve with over the last 8 months. Brittany is a joy and a blessing to me. I am hoping her blog post will be a blessing to you:
A few weeks ago I was on a Q&A panel at SEBTS for prospective students and I was asked a really good question that sparked my thinking. Before I jump into the topic, let me give you a little background information.
Since marrying the Hubby, I’ve switched churches. When we first started dating, we were at two different churches and neither of us wanted to switch until our commitment was official. Once we were engaged, I slowly started letting go of responsibilities at my church and started “merging” over to Ben’s church. Now that we’re married, we’re fully at his church and I’m working on switching my membership over to his. During this process I’ve been searching for a solid older married woman (30+, but preferably 40+) to disciple me.
A few weeks ago, we heard one of our church’s pastors speaking and I turned to Ben and said, “I want to be discipled by him, but I’m a girl… and that would be awkward.” He quickly agreed. But this pastor is a phenomenal thinker and his knowledge of Scriptures consistently impresses me. I love how he is consistently reading a variety of books and how he relays pertinent information in such a way that everyone can understand. He is such a gifted teacher and I would love to sit under his teaching! Ben and I both agreed, me being discipled by an older man would not be the wisest of situations, but it brings me to my topic… Where are the brilliant female theologians in our churches?
While on the panel at SEBTS I was asked a question about being female at a Southern Baptist seminary. In summary the lady wanted to know whether or not women were treated as second class citizens. Were women viewed solely as future preacher’s wives? I’m not going to delve into that question here, but the short answer is no. But regardless, even if the opposite was true, should we allow an unbiblical idea stop us from becoming good theologians? There is a shortage of good female theologians in our churches and I’m wondering why.
Regardless of your stance on whether women should be “teaching” in the pulpit, in Sunday school rooms, deacons, etc., we can all agree that older women are called to disciple others, the Great Commission is not gender exclusive. So in light of this, I’m trying to process a few thoughts… Humor me and help me develop my thinking.
1. All Christians should be Christian Theologians. We should all be “studiers of God.” If we believe in the Gospel, shouldn’t we all be good learners of the Scripture and strive to think and live rightly in this world, both men and women alike?
If this is true, then…
2. The studying of Christian theology should NOT only take place in seminaries. It should NOT be only taught from the pulpits. It should not only be well understood by men. It needs to be taught in our homes, in our friendships, in our families. This practice must permeate every sphere of our lives. Shame on us if we push off our responsibility to “academia” or solely to men. The Bible is for the rich, the poor, the young, the old, the brilliant, the not-so-brilliant, and for male & female. Each of us have the responsibility to be good stewards of Scripture.
Therefore…
3. Christian women, you are called to study Scriptures and to disciple others. It’s not optional. The Great Commission was not for men alone. If you feel called to seminary and you let a few men who have an inappropriate view of complementarianism get in your way of learning, shame on you. Who cares what they think? You have a responsibility to learn Scriptures well.
Which leads me to point #4…
4. In regards to learning Scriptures well… Ladies, no offense to Beth Moore (and seriously, I mean no offense), but we are fully capable of reading the same books that our brothers in Christ are reading. Our understanding of the Gospel needs to be equally robust as theirs. Be well rounded in what you read.
And lastly, this final point is mainly for me…
5. For those of you who are working through women’s issues in a more conservative church than you’d prefer. Don’t be afraid to ask questions, but make sure your attitude is in the right place. Recognize that you, like every other member, have submitted yourself to the authority of the church. Ask good questions, learn from the leadership that you’ve placed yourself under, and try to develop a spirit of humility. Pride is a dangerous thing and it seems to show itself frequently in Christian debates. Be open to the Holy Spirit changing your heart just as you would pray that the Holy Spirit would change the hearts of your pastors and elders.
Alright yall, those are my thoughts… I’m still growing, learning, failing, and then starting the process again so feel free to reprimand my thinking if I’m off.
by Kimberly | Nov 2, 2010 | Women
I love this quote a saw on a blog about a month ago. Love to hear your thoughts on it – or what makes you beautiful!
“True beauty radiates from a woman who gracefully walks the path designed uniquely for her. To walk the path of God’s will is to show others the beauty of Christ.”
by Kimberly | Jul 16, 2010 | Women
GirlTalk has been an invaluable tool and resource for me over the years. I wanted to share this with you as a means of encouragement and discipleship and growth. You can see the whole blog here, but these are the 7 Habits of the Highly Effective Woman:
So with this in mind, I came up with a list of 7 Habits of the Highly Effective Woman (to borrow from the title of the bestselling book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People). We will consider these 7 habits over the next few days. This list has evolved out of my years of personal study on this topic. It certainly is not an exhaustive list; however, I hope it will be helpful.
7 Habits of the Highly Effective Woman:
1. She rises early. (The 5am club. Shopping for Time. This is something I do well for seasons of time, then I get out of the habit – like many of these. But, this is a Biblical concept.)
2. She maintains the spiritual disciplines. (Again, I think some of these go in and out of season for me, but most are a pretty set part of my life now. What are some Spiritual Disciplines that you do? Two books which would be good here are Don Whitney’s and Richard Foster’s.)
3. She focuses on relational priorities for every season. (This is key for different seasons of life. I just had a conversation with a mom the other day about the importance of pouring into people at different times in life – making different relationships a priority.)
4. She sets up regular times for planning. (I had a great idea to do this at Caribou on Friday mornings at 7am – I thought of this before I moved to Raleigh – I need to be more diligent with it.)
5. She develops an effective to-do list system and calendar/planner system. (Well, my planner system is my phone, and my to-do list is usually in my head. It works well for me. Find what works best for you. As long as it works.)
6. She establishes an efficient routine for managing her home. (I need to work on this one. It doesn’t matter if I have a roomie or live by myself. I need to be a manager of my home. It isn’t going to naturally come into place if I ever have a real “home” of my own. How do you manage your home? What tips would you offer?)
7. She organizes her house systematically. (what does this look like? You can find further thoughts on the Girltalk Blog)
by Kimberly | Jul 13, 2010 | Women
J
onathan Leeman has a fabulous article in the new 9Marks journal on relationships between men and women (complementarianism/egalitarianism). I was just able to teach on biblical womanhood at a youth camp with my church. Honestly, one session went extremely well, one session could have gone better. I wish I had some of this before I went. This discussion can get confusing if not presented and articulated well, especially when not knowing where your hearers are coming from. Always be ready with a biblical answer – and always submit to the authority of Scripture and Christ when speaking on this. That is how I’ve worked on my conversations. I try not to share my opinion – because why does my opinion ultimately matter. But, the only lasting perfect words on this subject is from Scripture.
Thanks to Dr. Burk for highlighling this article and for the men at 9Marks for putting this together and for CBMW for being around for so many years giving us good resources on this topic.
Jonathan Leeman has an excellent essay in the latest 9marks journal. In short, he argues that Complementarianism is crucial to discipleship. It’s worth reading the whole essay, but I want to highlight one section that I found particularly helpful. It will frame the way I engage the “borders” from now on. He writes:
‘Too often, the discussion about complementarianism gets stuck at the borders. For instance, people get marooned on matters like whether it’s appropriate for adult women to teach high school men. Where’s the line, they ask. But focusing on the borders of what’s licit is a bit like the dating couple who asks, “How much can we do with each other physically? Hold hands? Kiss?”
‘There is a place for such questions, but what’s needed first is a positive statement about how to promote biblical masculinity and femininity among young men and women. The dating couple, instead of asking, “How far can we go?” should instead ask, “How can we serve one another and best prepare the other for marriage?” In the church, likewise, we should ask, “How can we best help these high school women become mature women, and these high school men become mature men?” But that’s a question a church will never think to ask if it doesn’t have a positive vision for Christian masculinity and Christian femininity in the first place.
‘So let’s try again: Is it okay to have adult women teaching high school men? Well, frankly, I’m not entirely sure if it’s licit or not, but I do know I want those high school men to learn what it means for men to take initiative and biblical leadership in the church. And I do want the women to learn what it means to love, affirm, and support male leadership in the church. Therefore, I’m going to be very careful about what models I place before them. In most circumstances, I’m going to have Bible-loving, initiative-taking adult men teach the group as a whole, while having mature women support and assist that ministry.’
This entire issue of the 9marks journal is devoted to the complementarianism and is titled Pastoring Women: Understanding and Honoring Distinctness. Go check it out.
by Kimberly | Jul 7, 2010 | Women
The only comics I read growing up were Archie and the Sunday Funnies. I loved waking up each Sunday morning and looking at the brightly colored comics – now many of them I don’t even know, nor are they funny. I miss the days of new Garfields, Peanuts, and B.C.
DC Comics are a different thing altogether. Even though I’ve watched most of the movies, I’ve never read any of the actual comics. I know they are very different and I can’t call myself a fan if I haven’t. But, I have watched Unbreakable by M. Night and there are some creapy comic book fans out there!
I love the original Batman, The Dark Knight, Batman Begins, all the Spideys (of recent years)… But, what of Wonder Woman? I don’t think I ever watched an episode/rerun with Lynda Carter (THE Wonder Woman in most opinions). I grew up watching the Smurfs, Strawberry Shortcake, and The Bugs Bunny and Tweety Show (loved 11am on Saturday mornings).
I came across this blog yesterday and did some thinking about it. Why hasn’t Wonder Woman been as big of a HERO as her male counterparts? Is it because she isn’t strong enough? No. There are reasons at which I’ll get to later. One of the statements in the blog I read brings up an interesting fact of feminism and lesbianism (do they really think this will sell more copies):
“Comic books are a male-dominate, testosterone fueled medium. Guys grow up wanting to be Superman, Batman, Spider-Man, and Captain America. Wonder Woman is eye-candy and the hot chick they fantasize about. First, last and always. The small percentage of women and girls that read Wonder Woman hardly make up for the large percentage of men and boys who don’t. The best rendition of Wonder Woman is and was the Lynda Carter version – and she wore the one-piece. Even then the character of Steve Trevor was introduced only to give Wonder Woman someone to rescue every week and give her a little heterosexual cover. The woman is almost 70 years old. Isn’t it about time she finally chose a side. Drag her out of the closet and let her start singing Melissa Etheridge and Indigo Girls songs.”
Amazon, not the bookseller, but the home of WW, is an all-female planet. Females dominate. “Wonder Woman is an Amazon (based on the Amazons of Greek mythology) and was created by Marston (an American) as a “distinctly feminist role model whose mission was to bring the Amazon ideals of love, peace, and sexual equality to a world torn by the hatred of men.” I would love to go back and interview the creator of WW for DC Comics. Created by a husband/wife team who lead a polygamous lifestyle, WW was seen as a loving superhero who embodied the feminist, non-traditional woman of the day (WW2). Marston, the main creator, said this in 1943:
“Not even girls want to be girls so long as our feminine archetype lacks force, strength, and power. Not wanting to be girls, they don’t want to be tender, submissive, peace-loving as good women are. Women’s strong qualities have become despised because of their weakness. The obvious remedy is to create a feminine character with all the strength of Superman plus all the allure of a good and beautiful woman.”
The more I study this – the problem goes deeper. So, basically, we have, all demonstrated in WW: helpless men, all-powerful, attractive, sexy, loving, truthful, I’m-in-charge woman.” This is what we as Americans are giving are girls. Now they want to make her a lesbian or a feminist? They aren’t too far from the truth according to some.
But, without going further…how can we as Christians (especially women and mothers and those who work with young women) counter this?
1. Please do not misunderstand me – I am not advocating door-mat women. I am not advocating weak women. Just to get that right.
2. We need to advocate biblical feminity. I like how John Piper defines it:
“At the heart of mature femininity is a freeing disposition to affirm, receive, and nurture strength and leadership from worthy men in ways appropriate to a woman’s differing relationships.”
3. Scripture tells us women of the Word will be wise, fearing the Lord, industrious, hard workers, strong, giving, nurturing, trusting in her God, dignified, praiseworthy, gentle, quiet, modest, self-controlled, woman of good works, submissive to her husband and those in authority over her (see above quote), reverent in behavior, not enslaved to much wine (or any other bondage to sin), teachers of what is good, training the younger to love their husbands. These are just some of the commands/descriptions of women – not to mention all the traits of any one who considers themselves to be lovers of God, bought by the blood of Jesus. (Prov 31, 1 Timothy, Titus 2)
When I think of Wonder Woman, I see a woman who is trying to be all things, take charge, not submissive, pleaser of self, helping others (of course, she is a superhero), someone ogled by men, not gentle or meek or quiet.
When allowing your sons and daughters (and yourselves) to watch/read things in culture – do you know what those people are trying to teach your children or you? I just read some Spurgeon this morning:
“Whether we teach young Christians truth or not, the devil will be sure to teach them error.”
As a married woman – the book I can recommend is Feminine Appeal by Carolyn Mahaney.
For a single woman (like me) – the books would be Girls Gone Wise by Mary Kassian or Did I Kiss Marriage Goodbye? by Carolyn McCulley.
For a mom of older daughters, the above mentioned Girls Gone Wise.
For a mom of younger daughters, Girl Talk by Mahaney and Whitacre (her daughter).
