by Kimberly | Mar 26, 2010 | sin, Women
True Woman Conference Sessions 1: Voddie Baucham
Dr. Baucham is a pastor in Spring, Texas and an author, a husband, and a father. The first time I heard him speak live was at Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary to a packed house – he brought it. Tonight he is speaking to a group of women of all ages – about 2400 of us. Different audience, same Truth. Tonight, the truth is coming from Titus 1-2.
“Set our heart’s affection on you – speak to us clearly and powerfully through your Word.” – Amen
From True Woman Manifesto: God’s Plan for gender is wider than marriage; all women, whether married or single, are to model femininity in their various relationship, by exhibiting a distinctive modesty , responsiveness, and gentleness of spirit. (Lord – make this so in my life.)
Mature Christian women have a responsibility to leave a legacy of faith, by discipling younger women in the Word and ways of God and modeling for the next generation lives of fruitful femininity.
God gives us a picture in Titus 1 and 2 of what he has provided for our sanctification – the way he shapes our lives as believers. There are three principle tools here:
a. Godly mature men and women in the church.
b. Godly manly elders and pastors
c. Biblically functioning homes
Titus 2 – Godly mature men and women in the church. This is for our discipleship and growth in Christ. Older men are to be. Older women are to likewise be. Godly, mature, character. This isn’t automatic for people who are older – this is character that is formed over time and is the fruit of sanctification. This is the picture of character forged over time. We, as women, have a unique power in our tongue – to build up and to tear down. The older women are exemplified in the way we use our speech. The picture painted here is the result of the years of walking with God and being transformed by the gospel – she opens her mouth and wisdom comes out (Prov 31, Gal 4, Dt 31), speaking God’s truth. This isn’t a picture of a woman who teaches Bible studies (primarily) – but is speaking of a woman who has poured her life into the lives of women through intentional relationships. The younger women need older women to teach them to love their husbands and children. That the Word of God might not be reviled. When older women are not about the task of teaching younger women – we are not rightly living out the gospel. If we are following the ways of a culture that denies biblical manhood and womanhood, then I am marring the picture of Christ and his Church. His honor is being defamed. These things need to be taught. The older women have such a crucial role in the life of the church. And when we blame our disobedience on our circumstances: we are putting our circumstances above the Word of God.
Titus 1: Godly manly elders and pastors. The list in Titus 1 is primarily for pastors and elders, but Titus 1 is for all men – here is why:
There is no list in Titus 2.
Pastors are called in 1 Peter 5.3 to be examples to the flock. If he has a list of qualifications that aren’t applicable to the rest of the flock – then how can he be an example.
There isn’t anything in this list that we would give up for our sons – that we would not want our sons to be. Above reproach. Godly kids. Not arrogant. But hospitable. Hold firm to
the Truth (not a heretic). (Just to name a few.)
Titus 1: Biblically functioning homes. Titus 1.10 – “for” – there are many who are upsetting whole families.”
The primary discipling unit is the home. Eph 6.1-4. Children, parents, fathers – Dt 6, Ps 78, Proverbs – the home is the place of instruction for our children. Child is born. Child is born into a home with a mother and father who know and love God. They understand biblical womanhood and manhood, understand marriage as a picture of the gospel, and they give sound doctrine throughout the life of that child, they take that child to a healthy church where he hears thundering gospel from the pulpit. The pastor echoes what this child has heard in his home, the gray-haired folks in the church echo what this child has learned in his home. That is the picture.
On a personal note: I do not live in the ideal. I am not ideal: I sin. I fall short of the glory of God. I do have great older women, pastors, and families who model Titus 1 and 2 for me. I pray that as I grow older, the Lord continues to put younger women in my life that I can pour into – that I can speak grace and truth to. Lord – make my speech a display of your glorious Gospel.
When we don’t have all the pieces of this puzzle – be grateful before you get mad at the Lord. Be grateful for the grace in your life of what you do have. Repent of the sin that is in our lives that keep us from having the ideal. We live in a fallen world – always affected by either our sin or someone else’s sin. Repent of the anger, the bitterness, the lies, the unforgiveness. Be God’s, live and walk in the Truth of the Word and the light of the Gospel.
by Kimberly | Mar 20, 2010 | Women
This past week I’ve spent much of my time reading Mary Kassian’s new book Girls Gone Wise in a World Gone Wild. As most of my close friends know, I’m not a huge reader of “women only” books because I find them to be only geared to certain women or I find them to be fluffy. I am not a fluffy girls’ book reader.
This was not a fluffy book and it was geared toward all women – no matter the stage of life she is in! And, it was AMAZING (only better if it were shorter). I was convicted by this book many times. And it seemed as if I thought of one thing – she brought it up in the next paragraph. Very odd – but very cool as well.
Here are some personal thoughts on the Spirit’s work in my life through this book. I will definitely be re-reading it – and will hopefully have a chance to lead some girls through it in the future.
1. I am not amenable, at least not in my heart. I like to control a situation, I like to know what is going on, and though I may be “glad” to go along with other plans on the outside, it is a heart struggle. God is working on this in my life. “An amenable woman gladly foregoes personal desires and preferences to honor that authority. (Contrast #4). I think I do that, planning around other’s likes and dislikes and preferences, but I still want to be in control. I don’t want to be like this: “A brazen, defiant attitude stands in stark contrast to the soft receptiveness that the Lord intended for women.” (#4). Like I said, this may be done on the outside, but its the heart that matters.
2. I clearly see the effect of sin in this book on women’s lives; it is a sad affair. “So many of us are living with the brokenness, dysfunction, pain, and confusion, that comes from having gone wild.” The cure: the Gospel. (intro)
3. “The more a woman’s heart is seized with affection for Jesus, the more her life will be transformed to walk in his ways.” (#1) It has to start with the heart. I can definitely tell a difference in my life if I have spent way too much time watching TV/movies/internet and not any time reading the Word. My thoughts and contentrations and shortness of temper are definitely off the mark. I saw this marked in a girl’s life just last night. You could tell in how she talked about her Jesus that she loved Him and the feelings were mutual! 🙂
4. “The second adjective describing the Proverbs 7 woman is translated wayward. The Hebrew word means to be stubborn and rebellious. It reflects a defiant, self-willed, obstinate, nobody tells me what to do frame of mind. (#4, Ez 20.38, Ps 78.8). God has already been working this in me. But, I also pick it up in girls more easily now than before. I work in the lounge of the women’s dorm on campus here at SBTS. It has given me opportunity to get to know some of them. I can tell though in some of them that they are defiant and loud and not calm and gentle. This makes me sad. Honestly.
5. “Homeward faced, wisdom graced; out to the max, wisdom lacks.” (#5) I loved this. I can clearly see that my focus needs to be on home. The past few weeks haven’t been that for me in the midst of packing, hanging out with friends, etc – and I have missed that. I love my home (ok, my 800 square foot apt), but I love having folks over, tending to home, being satisfied with being in my quiet apt. This is where God has called women – whether a family, single, kids, etc. We see this in the commands for what older women are to teach younger women (Titus 2).
6. “She’s happy when she has a new prospect on the horizon and the hunt is going well” (#6). Mary talks here of a woman’s focus. I will admit that when there is a prospect of a cute godly guy in my path, I’m going to get dressed differently in the morning, wear makeup if I’m going out where I might see him, etc. There is an added spring to my step. But, why? Why don’t I do this everyday because I’m loved by my Saviour?
7. Body Language – #8. I have seen this all too often in the girls’ dorm too – mainly this has been my interaction with college girls the past 3 years. They are playful in tossing the hair, sitting on guys’ laps, sitting on the arm of the chair he is sitting in, giggling profusely, sometimes dressing inappropriately. I want to film them, then have a movie night and play it along side the reading of this book. I have also been convicted of watching these same tendencies in my own life and interaction with every male that I come in contact with, work with, see in stores, etc.
8. Roles #9 – if you want a good quick chapter overview of the basics of CBMW Gender Roles – read this chapter. Nuf said!
9. Another one of the big hits for me: “Restraining words means that you don’t have to have an opinion on everything. You don’t have to comment on everything that happens. You don’t have to answer every question. You don’t have to constantly make your thoughts known. You don’t have to be proved right. You don’t have to show off your superior knowledge. You don’t have to constantly offer advice.” (#17). As most of you know I am quite opinionated. I feel this has also gotten less in the last few years. It is partly due to male leadership in my life the last few years and also the working of the Spirit. I noticed a few times this week even that I practiced this – and you know, it was ok that I didn’t express my opinion but instead kept my mouth shut.
I started to get discouraged in my actions and heartitude by page 105. Then I read the next paragraph:
“Given my own strength and willpower, my ability to life a self-disciplined life is extremely limited. That’s why I need to depend on my Helper. Success is a matter of depending on the Holy Spirit and not on my own capacity.” (#5). Remember, living a life pleasing to God isn’t done on your own merits – but on the merit of Christ. That’s why we celebrate EASTER!
by Kimberly | Mar 20, 2010 | Women
One of the pleasures of working at The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary has been to meet and interact with professors and authors. Mary Kassian is one of those. She has been a joy to get to know. She has provided such wisdom in my life both in conversation and through her writings.
Girls Gone Wise (in a World Gone Wild) is definitely no exception. I marked my copy profusely with notes to myself and underlined key quote that I’ve been sharing with women.
Kassian has no trouble hitting her target audience: women – of all ages. She wrote this book so that any woman: single, married, in college, 3 kids, high schooler, grandmother, would be able to pick it up and apply it to her life. One of the reasons this is accomplished is because Scripture applies to all of us: no matter what stage of life we are in.
Mrs. Kassian takes the sage advice from the writer of Proverbs and compares the two women he identifies in the book: the “Girls Gone Wild” and the “Girls Gone Wise”. She creatively illustrates the devastating contrasts between the women in Proverbs, mostly in chapters 7 and 31. When looking at the two women side-by-side one notices the stark difference between the two. One following the ways of the world, foolish, and heading to a life of destruction. The other following the Spirit’s leading, wise, and walking daily in the fear of God; her life gripped with the power of the Gospel.
The author brilliantly weaves cultural anecdotes, Scriptural characters and life lessons to make this a book you do not want to put down. Kassian knows the culture to which she is writing. Her years of ministry, teaching, and being a mom/wife have prepared her more than adequately to write this book.
Mary speaks to gender roles in one of the chapters (taken from Prov 7.13, 22 and 1 Peter 3.4-6). This is a great chapter for a well-done and qucik overview of issues concerning submission, male and female roles in relationships, created equal, and other key points. She speaks of the unique relationship that God started in the garden by the order of creation and the commands that God gave to each person. This is very helpful, especially if this is your first time encountering biblical foundations for gender roles.
The three parts you can find in each of the 20 Points of Contrast Mary highlights are: the dangers of following the ways of the world, dangers of ignoring the counsel of God, His Word, and the Spirit, and the promise of a life well-lived for the glory of God. In this compare/contrast style of writing, it is more clearly seen than if she had chosen to write it a different way. Each chapter you see the dangers and the folly and you are convicted by the Spirit to take account of your own life by the scales of comparison.
The only thing I would say that I would have liked better is if it were shorter. Especially if leading this with a group of women, 20 chapters is a long book. You would definitely need to split it between semesters (Fall/Spring) or do 2 chapters a week in the summer. This book would be amazing to go through in an accountability group of trusted women.
Mary: thank you for writing this wise counsel. I look forward to not only re-reading it, studying it more in depth as I’ve seen God point out areas in my own life that need working on by the Spirit; but also sharing it/leading it in small groups in the future.
by Kimberly | Mar 5, 2010 | Women
Well…the doll industry has done it again.
Mattel, the leading industry icon for all things doll, including Barbie, has chose to market these new dolls to young girls.
Here are some things this doll can teach impressionable young pre-teen and pre-adolescent girls:
1. You are what you look like.
2. It doesn’t matter how you dress
3. The work force is the place for you (whatever work one might be doing dressed like that)
4. You can get where you want to in life as long as you dress immodestly.
That is just the beginning, but I’ll leave it at that.
Moms (especially), Dads, childrens pastors, babysitters…anyone…please read this…
Our girls live in an age that is dangerous for them and their eyes and ears. I was visiting with a friend last night and had the Disney channel on for most of the evening. I couldn’t believe the shows that were on, what they were wearing, how they talked to their parents, the topics of their conversations….
The magazine aisle or the checkout aisle is dangerous because of the scantily scad stars or models that boast the front page.
The bookstores are dangerous for the same reason.
The malls are dangerous because of stores like Victoria Secrets and even places like Rue 21 and other stores that sell mostly teen, pre-teen clothing.
What I am not saying is to guard your child so much that she never sees the outside of your home. I’m not saying that you should never let your daughter go to the mall, go to Barnes and Noble or shop at Toys ‘R’ Us again.
What I am saying is this:
1. Amazingly show your daughter that the gospel is more important in her life than what she looks like.
2. Dads (especially) tell your daughter that she is beautiful. The other day I was eating dinner with friends, and probably heard this statement 5 times in a matter of 3 hours. This Dad’s daughter was only 15 months or so (about) but she already knew that she was cherished by her Daddy. Priceless.
3. Teach your daughter biblical principles for attire. We don’t have hem line measurements in Scripture, but we do have principles.
4. Shop with your daughters and walk them through things that might not be appropriate and tell them why.
5. Be involved in your daughter’s life so she can come to you with her questions and her inadequacies and know that you care and love her.
6. Give your daughter a biblical world view of the gospel, her created self made in the image of the one true God, her role as woman, her spirit and heart that matter more than what she looks like on the outside.
Here are some Scriptures that teach on the above principles to pour over your daughter (maybe on a mom/daughter date night, or a wknd away, or just a morning breakfast of her fave pancakes): Gen 1:26-28; 1 Peter 3; Prov 7 (of how not to be); Prov 31 (of how to be); Col 3, 4; Gal 6.14; Prov 4.23.
Here are some books that might help you as well:
Talk with your daughter. Don’t let the images that Mattel and other worldly manufacturers distribute be chiseled in their minds. The gospel is better.
by Kimberly | Feb 11, 2010 | sin, Women
The more I live the more I see that this world is not about Christ. Ok – yes, I should know that, and I do. But, the closer I am with God – the more I am in His Word, serving Him, being shaped by Him, the more I am appalled by sin.
Being home the past two days has allowed for good times of reading and little TV watching – that was grand!
With Valentine’s Day on Sunday, I thought I would shoot this out there. How do you prepare for Valentine’s Day? Last night I made some Vday goodies to share tonight and tomorrow. I am babysitting for a couple on Saturday night so they can have a date. I am making brownies shaped in hearts for a potluck on Sunday. I really don’t think much about the fact that I am single on Vday, because I’ve only ever dated one person on Vday, and it didn’t rock my world…so…
I came across this on a blog I read (about fitness mostly, or well-being), and I wanted to counter her 5 points with Scripture. This is how you have to start looking at the world – a biblical worldview!
Noshtopia wrote this: How to have a good Valentine’s Day:
1. Be completely selfish. Phil 2.3: Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.
This first one is so anti-biblical. I am reading Elyse Fitzpatrick’s Counsel from the Cross. The third chapter is all about LOVE. It doesn’t say anything about being selfish. I would counter Stephanie’s first point by saying on Vday – find something to do for others. I love babysitting for people around Vday (and I usually say I’ll do it for free) because I want to be encouraging their marriage.
2. Give Your Inner Voice a Day Off. Counter this with: Preach the Gospel To yourself every day. I actually agree with her point. She knows, as we all do, that if we are single we are usually hating life on Vday because our culture, especially our church culture, makes it miserable for you to be single. I think culture looks upon singleness as a good thing (for mostly wrong reasons). I have found it mostly difficult to be single in the church because most people are pressing you to get married, or women’s events are geared toward mothers or wives; not just women.
3. Get Glammed Up and Go Party. Counter this with: 1 Peter 3.3-4: Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. Do I think it is a bad thing to get dressed up and go out to eat, art show, somewhere fun – NO. I love doing it. But so much of our culture presses this issue, especially for single women. This Sunday night, I’m going out to eat with new friends who are coming to look at the seminary. Will I look pretty – as much as I can. But, I can’t find my worth in this – or try to use it as a flirtatious model for attracting men.
4. Make Love with Yourself. Counter: Hebrews 13.4: Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous. This one appalled me more than any of the others. Where do I begin? Sexual activity is just for the marriage of a man and a woman for life. No where else. I was watching a repeat of “American Life” on ABC Family. The mother of one of the teenagers told the father (in front of the son) – “He’s just wanting to figure out if he wants oral sex from one or sex from the other?” For real, on ABC Family? What kind of family show is that? Well, don’t need to watch that anymore. Do I really need TV?
5. Write Down 5 Things You DO Have. Counter: And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. The Word tells us to be grateful for all the blessings we do have. God has been so gracious to us. And on this Valentine’s Day I am grateful for: new friends, new ministry opportunities, my family, friends who have loved me for a long time, the Word, provision.
So…how do you look at Valentine’s Day? What are your plans for the wknd?
